Subject: [apps-discuss] AppsDir review of draft-ietf-softwire-public-4over6-09

From: "He Xuan" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 27 May 2013 18:09:07 +0800

I have been selected as the Applications Area Directorate (appsdir) reviewer
for this draft.  

(For background on appsdir, please see
http://trac.tools.ietf.org/area/app/trac/wiki/ApplicationsAreaDirectorate). 

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments you
may receive.   

Please wait for direction from your document shepherd or AD before posting a
new version of the draft. 

Document: draft-ietf-softwire-public-4over6-09

Title: Public IPv4 over IPv6 Access Network

Reviewer: S. Moonesamy and Xuan He

Review Date: May 27, 2013

IETF Last Call Date:

IESG Telechat Date: May 30, 2013

Summary: 

This draft is not ready for publication as an Informational document. 

The mechanism described in the draft is not clearly specified.  

It is not possible to assess how this mechanism affects application-related
protocols due to the lack of clarity.

Major Issues: 

In Section 4 to 6: 

The implementation of this mechanism is not clear: on which device (seems
this mechanism introduces several devices); how to implement it at which
kind of network? For example, is it useful for constrained IPv6 network?

Minor: 

In the Introduction Section:

   "The purpose of this draft is to document the protocol that was

    deployed, both for historical purposes and for the benefit of users

    of that protocol in the field at the time of publication."

Why is the intended status of the document Informational instead of
Historic?  

The purposed mentioned in the Introduction Section is "to document the
protocol" whereas the Abstract mentions a description of a mechanism. 

Terms used in the draft are ambiguous, such as: 

In the Introduction Section:

"Therefore, public IPv4 addresses are expected to be provisioned to

    end users and carrier-side address translation can be avoided."

What are "public IPv4 addresses"?

   "Further more, full address is preferred to port-restricted address."

What is "full address"?

What is "port-restricted address"?

In Section 3:

   "The DNS registration can be direct using dedicated address;"

What is "DNS registration"

What is "dedicated address"?

Nits: 

In the Abstract:

   "This mechanism features the allocation of full IPv4 address over IPv6

    network, and has been used in production for high-end IPv4 users,

    IPv6 transition of ICPs, etc."

We suggest expanding "ICPs"

In Section 3: 

Section 3 is about "Scenario and Use Cases".  "value-added service" 

sounds more appropriate in a marketing document than for documenting a
scenario or use case.

   "A typical case of the high-end users that could use Public 4over6 is

    IPv4 application server."

Why is the "IPv4 application server" a "high-end user"?

   "Along with DS-Lite, Public 4over6 can be deployed as a

    value-added service, overcoming the service degradation caused by the

    CGN."

"CGN" should be expanded on first use.

 

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