Subject: [Dime] AD Review of draft-sun-dime-itu-t-rw-00.txt

From: "Romascanu, Dan (Dan)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:40:53 +0200

Here is the Area Director Review of draft-sun-dime-itu-t-rw-00.txt. I
have divided the commented in Technical and Editorial. A Revised-ID is
needed before sending the document to IETF Last Call. 

T1. RFC 2434 was obsoleted by RFC 5226

T2.Section 4.1 - I do not believe that the document should ask IANA for
the allocation of 'the next value' (probably the next available value),
but rather just for the allocation of a value in the specified range. 

T3. Section 4.3 needs to be re-written.- The nine values of the AVP
codes should be TBD and assignment be required from IANA at the
recommended values. The values in Table 1/Q.3303.3 in Section 7.3.1 of
[Q.3303.3] can be recommended but the final assignment should be made by
IANA after the document is approved (rationale - another ITU-T SG may
have already asked for the assignment of the same values)

E1. I suggest that the title of the document should be consistent with
the title of RFC5224 so instead of  'Diameter Policy Enforcement
Interface: ITU-T Rw' rather  'Diameter ITU-T Rw Policy Enforcement
Interface Application'

E2. In the Introduction Section s/to send a request and receiving a
response/to send a request and receive a response/ 

E3. Section 2

   Additionally, the terms and
   acronyms defined in Section 4 of [Q.3303.3] are used in this
   document.

Actually in [Q.3303.3] Section 3 defines terms and section 4 acronyms. 

E4. I find section 3 pointless as it stands now. A one-two executive
summary paragraph placing the interface described in the document in the
context of Q.3303.1 and ITU-T Y.2111 and mentioning that the scope of
the interface is to control policy enforcement functions in the
transport devices, including QoS resource control, NAPT/NAT traversal
control, etc. would be appropriate. 

E5. Section 4.1 - the reference is incorrect s/Section 3/[Q.3303.3]
Section 7.2.1

E6. Section 7.4.2 - the references are incomplete - add to each that
they refer to [Q.3303.3]

Regards,

Dan

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From: "Sun, Dong \(Dong\)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 24 Jun 2008 15:50:44 -0500

Dan,
Thanks for the review. I will update the draft accordingly.
Rgs,
Dong 

-----Original Message-----
From: Romascanu, Dan (Dan) [mailto:[email-masked]] 
Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2008 10:41 AM
To: Sun, Dong (Dong)
Cc: Hannes Tschofenig; [email-masked]
Subject: AD Review of draft-sun-dime-itu-t-rw-00.txt

E3. Section 2

Regards,

Dan