Subject: [Iptel] tgrep 04 comments

From: Cullen Jennings <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 04 Nov 2004 14:54:56 -0800

I like this document and have read it so many times that I have lost any
objective ability to catch mistakes in it. Anyways, here are some NITS that
come to mind ....

(PS. If you want me to help convert this to XML2RFC to deal with a bunch of
this, I would be happy to help after IETF)

Needs a table of contents as it is over 15 pages.

Expand first use of TRIP in abstract

In the Security Section might want to include some of the evil things that
can happen if you don't follow security recommendations in 3219 like DOS of
all phone calls on your network, misrouting of calls, stealing calls meant
for carrier A to carrier B, acceleration of heat death of universe, and so
on. 

Move to new boiler plate.

Update Jonathans contact info.

Warning in the introduction that you have to read 3219 for this to make any
sense. 

I don't see the numbers for the new address families.

Section 3.7.1 had duplicate text abut how CarrierIdCode is formed. Could we
put this in just one place to reduce the chance of having it conflict.

Split references into Normative and Informative.

In the IANA section, put something along the lines of ....

Trash the Changes sections.

Update the table at

http://www.iana.org/assignments/trip-parameters

to have 

TRIP Attributes
Code      Attribute                       Reference
-------   --------------------------      ---------
     14   AvailableCircuits               [RFC-AAAA]

TRIP Address Families
Code         Address Family               Reference
-----------  ---------------------------  ---------
          4  TrunkGroup                   [RFC-AAAA]

[Note to RFC Editor - replace RFC-AAAA with this RFC number]

Some spelling typos (or perhaps these are OK and I just don't know the
various ways to spell the work but, for what they are worth)

57c57
<    turn can propogate that routing information within and between
---
>    turn can propagate that routing information within and between
59c59
<    of similarites with the TRIP Protocol. It has similar procedures and
---
>    of similarities with the TRIP Protocol. It has similar procedures and
158c158
<    and/or propogated by the TRIP Location Server.
---
>    and/or propagated by the TRIP Location Server.
171c171
<    UPDATE message to propogate the routes supported. It uses
---
>    UPDATE message to propagate the routes supported. It uses
202c202
<    speaker sends the reachibility informaton in the UPDATE messages. The
---
>    speaker sends the reachibility information in the UPDATE messages. The
252c252
<    MAY be propogated beyond the LS that receives it.
---
>    MAY be propagated beyond the LS that receives it.
687c687
<    When the scope of a CarrierIdCode is known to be unique apriori, the
---
>    When the scope of a CarrierIdCode is known to be unique a priori, the
844c844
<    When the scope of a CarrierIdCode is known to be unique apriori, the
---
>    When the scope of a CarrierIdCode is known to be unique a priori, the
983c983
<    MUST NOT send UPDATEs of more than one of the following catagories
---
>    MUST NOT send UPDATEs of more than one of the following categories
1076c1076
<     |   |  (I-TRIP/   |  |     |t|  |d|  |  Mangement  |-++-+-------| GW
|
---
>     |   |  (I-TRIP/   |  |     |t|  |d|  |  Management  |-++-+-------| GW  |
1130c1130
<     |   |  (I-TRIP/   |  |     |t|  |d|  |  Mangement  |-++-+-------| GW
|
---
>     |   |  (I-TRIP/   |  |     |t|  |d|  |  Management  |-++-+-------| GW  |
1181c1181
<    refered to as Consolidation. In the above example, it is possible
---
>    referred to as Consolidation. In the above example, it is possible
1328c1328
<        to accomodate representation of Country codes in association with
---
>        to accommodate representation of Country codes in association with

idnits says ...

idnits 1.34 (28 Jul 2004)

/Users/fluffy/id/draft-ietf-iptel-tgrep-04.txt:

  The document seems to lack separate sections for Informative/Normative
References

  * The document claims conformance with section 10 of RFC 2026, but uses
    some RFC 3667/3668 boilerplate.  As RFC 3667/3668 replaces section 10 of
    RFC 2026, you should not claim conformance with it if you have changed
    to using RFC 3667/3668 boilerplate.

  Looks like you're using RFC 2026 boilerplate. Better change to RFC
3667/3668.
  The document seems to lack an 2026 Section 10.4(C) Copyright Notice
  -- however, there's a paragraph with a matching beginning. Boilerplate
error?
  The document seems to lack an RFC 2026 Section 10.4(C) Permission Grants
Notice
  The document seems to lack an RFC 2026 Section 10.4(C) Disclaimer
  -- however, there's a paragraph with a matching beginning. Boilerplate
error?
  The document is more than 15 pages and seems to lack a Table of Contents
  There are 39 instances of too long lines in the document,
  -- the longest one being 22 characters in excess of 72.

  Warnings:
    There are 1 instances of lines with hyphenated line breaks in the
document. 

    Line 325 has weird spacing: '...s to be  deter...'
    Line 388 has weird spacing: '...refixes  that...'
    Line 393 has weird spacing: '...ges may  be re...'
    Line 466 has weird spacing: '...nkgroup  for t...'
    Line 584 has weird spacing: '...anaging  that ...'
      ...

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---

From: Manjunath Bangalore <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 05 Nov 2004 15:47:19 -0800

Cullen,

Thanks for reviewing it. We will incorporate the suggested changes.

Regards,
-Manjax