Subject: [PMOL] FW: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt

From: "Romascanu, Dan (Dan)" <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 25 Jan 2011 11:24:21 +0100

-----Original Message-----
From: Miguel A. Garcia [mailto:[email-masked]] 
Sent: Tuesday, January 25, 2011 11:55 AM
To: [email-masked]; [email-masked]; Al Morton; Romascanu,
Dan (Dan)
Cc: General Area Review Team
Subject: Gen-ART review of draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt

I have been selected as the General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviewer
for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq

Please resolve these comments along with any other comments you may
receive.

Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
Reviewer: Miguel Garcia <[email-masked]> Review Date:
25-Jan-2011 IETF LC End Date: 27-Jan-2011

Summary: The document is ready for publication as a BCP.	

Major issues: none

Minor issues: none

Nits/editorial comments:

- Abstract: the word "over" is duplicated.

- Section 1, first paragraph. Missing dot closing the paragraph.

- Section 3, first paragraph. I recommend to use the present tense in
the last sentence of the paragraph:

   "As such, this document does not defined any performance metrics".

- Section 5.2, first paragraph.

   s/of an networking/of a networking
        ^^

- Section 5.4.3, last paragraph. Add a formal informative reference to
RFC 3550.

- Section 5.4.5, forth paragraph. Add a formal informative reference to
RFC 3611.

- Section 5.4.5, 7th paragraph. Add a formal informative reference to
RFC 3611.

/Miguel

-- 
Miguel A. Garcia
+34-91-339-3608
Ericsson Spain