Subject: [Syslog] RE: draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt

From: "David Harrington" <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 26 May 2006 13:41:09 -0400

Hi,

I did a quick review.

1) There needs to be a note in the document to the RFC Editor, asking
the editor to replace the rfc xxxx with the actual RFC number before
publication, similar to
"NOTE to RFC editor: replace XXXX with actual RFC number for this
document and remove this note "

It is easiest for the rfc editor if you:
a) identify each usage that needs the change, or
b) use a consistent notation (you use rfc xxx in the Abstract and rfc
xxxx [24] elsewhere.I recommend changing the abstract usage to match.

Since every usage that need the change, except the abstract, has a
corresponding citation, I suggest putting the note directly under the
reference to the I-D, and identifying the search phrase to use. 

--
2) you need to separate the references into Normative versus
Informational

--
3) I recommend using the "experimental" xml2rfc web service at
http://xml.resource.org/experimental.html which does some extra
formatting to satisfy specific style requirements of the rfc-editor.

--
4) I recommend running your XML through Bill Fenner's xml-validator at
http://rtg.ietf.org/~fenner/ietf/xml2rfc-valid/.
I think you have some invalid XML, even though xml2rfc accepts it.

At line 246 and 325 and 469 and 521 and 765 and 805 and 833 and 840
and 897, you have a list element not contained within a text element.

--
5) you need to run the text through the id-nits tool at
http://tools.ietf.org/tools/idnits/idnits.pyht. Here are the results I
got:

(dbh: note that the tool complains about the RFC2119 citation; this is
a known problem - RFC2119 has a typo in the whitespace; if you cut and
paste the text from the warning, that might fix it.)

idnits 1.99 

tmp/draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt:

tmp/draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt(439): Line is too long: the
offending characters are 'h'
tmp/draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt(440): Line is too long: the
offending characters are 'y)'
tmp/draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt(443): Line is too long: the
offending characters are 'y)'

  Checking nits according to http://www.ietf.org/ID-Checklist.html:
  * The document seems to lack separate sections for
Informative/Normative
    References.
    
    Checking conformance with RFC 3978/3979 boilerplate...

    the boilerplate looks good.

  Checking nits according to
http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-guidelines.txt:
    Nothing found here (but these checks do not cover all of
    1id-guidelines.txt yet).

  Miscellaneous warnings:
  - The document seems to lack the recommended RFC 2119 boilerplate,
even
    if it appears to use RFC 2119 keywords. 

    RFC 2119 paragraph 2 text:
    "The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL
NOT",
    "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in
this
    document are to be interpreted as described in  RFC 2119."

  Experimental warnings:
  - Unused Reference: [4] is defined on line 1113, but not referenced
	'   [4]   Menezes, A., van Oorschot, P., and S. Vanstone,
""Handbook of'

  - Unused Reference: [6] is defined on line 1119, but not referenced
	'   [6]   Mockapetris, P., "Domain names - concepts and
facilities",'

  - Unused Reference: [7] is defined on line 1122, but not referenced
	'   [7]   Mockapetris, P., "Domain names - implementation and'

  - Unused Reference: [9] is defined on line 1128, but not referenced
	'   [9]   Malkin, G., "Internet Users' Glossary", RFC 1983,
August 1996.'

  - Unused Reference: [10] is defined on line 1130, but not referenced
	'   [10]  Freed, N. and N. Borenstein, "Multipurpose Internet
Mail'

  - Unused Reference: [11] is defined on line 1134, but not referenced
	'   [11]  Oehler, M. and R. Glenn, "HMAC-MD5 IP Authentication
with'

  - Unused Reference: [12] is defined on line 1137, but not referenced
	'   [12]  Krawczyk, H., Bellare, M., and R. Canetti, "HMAC:
Keyed-Hashing'

  - Unused Reference: [22] is defined on line 1168, but not referenced
	'   [22]  Klyne, G. and C. Newman, "Date and Time on the
Internet:'

  - Unused Reference: [14] is defined on line 1143, but not referenced
	'   [14]  Yergeau, F., "UTF-8, a transformation format of ISO
10646",'

  - Unused Reference: [15] is defined on line 1146, but not referenced
	'   [15]  Crocker, D. and P. Overell, "Augmented BNF for
Syntax'

  - Unused Reference: [25] is defined on line 1178, but not referenced
	'   [25]  Schneier, B., "Applied Cryptography Second Edition:
protocols,'

  - Unused Reference: [16] is defined on line 1149, but not referenced
	'   [16]  Hinden, R. and S. Deering, "IP Version 6 Addressing'

  - Unused Reference: [3] is defined on line 1110, but not referenced
	'   [3]   American National Standards Institute, "USA Code
for'

6) The contact information in the "authors and working group chair"
section recognizes only Chris since he was chair during the work on
that document. I should probably be added in case the rfc-ditor needs
to contact me, such as for AUTH48.

My contact information is 
David Harrington
[email-masked]
[email-masked] 
Huawei Technologies (USA)
1700 Alma Drive, Suite 100
Plano, TX  75075
+1-603-436-8634

7) The authors' address information should be filled in more throughly
to improve the rfc-editor's chance of finding all of us for AUTH48,
and to imporve chances of readers with questions being able to reach
us.

Does J.Kelsey have an affiliation? If so, it should be reflected on
the first page.

8) Please add the following to the top of the "authors and working
group chair" section.

   "Comments are solicited and should be addressed to the working
   group's mailing list and/or the author(s)."

Thanks,
David Harrington
[email-masked] 
[email-masked]
[email-masked]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Alexander Clemm (alex) [mailto:[email-masked]] 
> Sent: Thursday, May 25, 2006 8:55 PM
> To: David Harrington
> Subject: FW: draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt
> 
> 
> Hello David,
> 
> sorry, I forgot to courtesy copy you but just realized my mistake.
> 
> Best regards
> --- Alex
> 
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Alexander Clemm (alex) 
> Sent: Thursday, May 25, 2006 5:48 PM
> To: [email-masked]
> Cc: Chris Lonvick (clonvick); Jon Callas; Alexander Clemm (alex)
> Subject: RE: draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt
> 
> Hello,
> 
> please find enclosed the submission draft-ietf-syslog-sign-18.txt
> (Signed syslog Messages), of the syslog Working Group, to 
> replace draft
> 17.  
> 
> I am also enclosing the XML file that was used to generate 
> the .txt file
> using the tool provided on http://xml.resource.org/.  
> 
> Please let me know if there are any questions.  
> 
> Thank you, and kind regards
> --- Alexander Clemm
> 
> 

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