Subject: Re: Possible typos

From: Russ Allbery <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 25 May 2009 17:30:12 -0700

Julien ÉLIE <[email-masked]> writes:

> Other typos:
>
> In 4.3:
>    The content of the application/news-groupinfo body part is defined as:
>
> It is application/news-checkgroups!

Thanks, fixed.

> In both 4.3 and 5.2.1.1, could it be said that in the examples, spaces
> are used in newsgroups descriptions but that they are in fact tabs?

Added.

> In 5.2.3, as for a checkgroups control message:
>
>    It requests a news server update its valid newsgroup list for that
>    hierarchy to include the groups specified, remove any groups not
>    specified, and update group descriptions to match those given in
>    the checkgroups control message.
>
> Could it be said "and update group descriptions as well as moderation
> status to match those..."?

Yes, good idea.  Done.

> In 5.3:
>
>    The cancel control message requests that a target article be withdrawn
>    from circulation and access.
>
> In order to be consistent with the previous paragraphs, "that" should
> not be added here after "requests" :)

The RFC Editor apparently has their own style for this, and thats were
added and changed all over the document for publication.  I'm leaving
all of that alone, since I have no strong opinions.  :)

> By the way, why does "Supersedes" always begin with a capital?  When
> we do not speak about the header, it should be a lower-case letter
> shouldn't it?  For instance in 3.4, "which cancels or Supersedes
> another article".

The RFC Editor noticed that too and lowercased it.  I added a
parenthetical reference to the Supersedes header field, which is what I
was trying to reference in too subtle of a way.

> In 6.1:
>
>    Cancel control messages are not required to have the same Newsgroups
>    header field as the messages they are cancelling and, since they are
>    sometimes processed before the original message is received, it may not
>    be possible to check that they do.
>
> "to check what they do"?  "to check that"?

Reworded, thanks.

-- 
Russ Allbery ([email-masked])             <http://www.eyrie.org/~eagle/>

---

From: Julien ÉLIE <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 27 May 2009 19:17:07 +0200

Hi Russ,

Thanks for your commits.

> was trying to reference in too subtle of a way.

I see you added the reference once (that's fine -- no need to say it
several times).

>> "to check what they do"?  "to check that"?

Your new wording is clearer, thanks!

-- 
Julien ÉLIE

« Je ne voudrais tout de même pas que Cléopâtre m'ait dans le nez ! » (César)