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From: Suresh Krishnan <suresh.krishnan@ericsson.com>
To: "int-dir@ietf.org" <int-dir@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal.all@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: INT DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.txt
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Date: Thu, 22 Oct 2015 04:01:26 +0000
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Subject: [Int-dir] INT DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.txt
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I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for =0A=
<draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.txt>. These comments were written primarily f=
or =0A=
the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s=
) =0A=
should treat these comments just like they would treat comments from any =
=0A=
other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call =0A=
comments that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, =
=0A=
see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.=0A=
=0A=
Summary: The draft is almost ready for publication but I have two comments =
=0A=
that you may want to address.=0A=
=0A=
Major=0A=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=0A=
=0A=
* Intended Status:=0A=
=0A=
This looks more like a recommended set of network configuration parameters =
=0A=
than a new protocol definition. Has the wg considered whether the Proposed =
=0A=
Standard status is appropriate (as opposed to Info or BCP)?=0A=
=0A=
* Section 10.1.1=0A=
=0A=
I have a question about the Sp computation. Looks like the Sp value needs t=
o =0A=
be between 1 and 9. In my view, the recommended method (3*ETX)-2 yields =0A=
values between 1 and 10. This needs to be fixed.=0A=
=0A=
This is how I see it.=0A=
=0A=
On a very high quality link, if there are no retransmissions required ETX =
=0A=
will be 1/1 =3D> 1. Sp will be (3*1)-2 =3D> 1=0A=
=0A=
On a very poor quality link where the packet only gets through after the fu=
ll =0A=
3 retries ETX will be 4/1 =3D> 4. Sp will be (3*4)-2 =3D> 10.=0A=
=0A=
Is my calculation correct?=0A=
=0A=
Editorial=0A=
=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=0A=
=0A=
Section 3.2=0A=
=0A=
s/maintin/maintain/=0A=
=0A=
Section 3.3=0A=
=0A=
s/if none is/if none are/=0A=
=0A=
Thanks=0A=
Suresh=0A=


From nobody Thu Oct 22 12:01:30 2015
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From: "Carlos Pignataro (cpignata)" <cpignata@cisco.com>
To: "int-dir@ietf.org" <int-dir@ietf.org>, "int-ads@ietf.org" <int-ads@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11
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Subject: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11
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Hi,

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for =
draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written primarily =
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and =
shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat =
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with =
any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details =
on the INT Directorate, see =
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html =
<http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html>.

This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and =
targets the Standards Track.

I have a number of comments and concerns with this document, which =
amount to requesting the ADs to take a closer look:

3.  Terminology

   This document uses terminology from the softwire problem statement
   RFC 4925 [RFC4925] and the softwire mesh framework RFC 5565
   [RFC5565].

CMP: I think terminology from RFC 5512 is also heavily used.

5.1.  The swmSupportedTunnelTable Subtree

   According
   to section 4 of RFC 5512 [RFC5512], current softwire mesh tunnel
   types include IP-IP, GRE and L2TPv3.

CMP: This is true, but at the same time there are now many other =
=E2=80=9Ccurrent tunnel types=E2=80=9D (which are actually BGP Tunnel =
Encapsulation Attribute Tunnel Types). See =
http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtml#tunnel=
-types =
<http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtml#tunne=
l-types> Specifically the ones introduced by RFC5566 ought to be =
included.

CMP: This comment also applies to swmSupportedTunnelType

XX. Missing sub-TLVs

CMP: If the Tunnel Type is one which requires encapsulation information =
(e.g., L2TPv3 Session ID, Cookie, GRE Key, etc.), how is that =
information managed? I cannot seem to find it in the MIB Module. See =
Section 4.1 of RFC 5512.

CMP: Similarly, what about Protocol Type and Color (S4.2 and 4.3 of RFC =
5512), and IPsec Tunnel Authenticator (RFC 5566)?

CMP: Similarly, what about the Load-Balancing Block values from RFC =
5640? Without this, an ECMP-aware L2TPv3 tunnel will be misunderstood.

8.  Security Considerations

   The swmMIB module can be used for configuration of certain objects,

CMP: How is this so, without read-write or read-create?

11.  References

11.1.  Normative References

CMP: Curiously, I do not see RFC 5566 or RFC 5640 referenced.

Hope these help!

Thanks,

=E2=80=94 Carlos.


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<html><head><meta http-equiv=3D"Content-Type" content=3D"text/html =
charset=3Dutf-8"></head><body style=3D"word-wrap: break-word; =
-webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;" =
class=3D""><div class=3D""><div class=3D"">Hi,<div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">I am an assigned INT directorate =
reviewer for draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11.&nbsp;These comments were =
written primarily for the benefit of the Internet&nbsp;Area Directors. =
Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these&nbsp;comments just =
like they would treat comments from any other IETF&nbsp;contributors and =
resolve them along with any other Last Call comments&nbsp;that have been =
received. For more details on the INT Directorate,&nbsp;see&nbsp;<a =
href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html" =
class=3D"">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html</a>.</div><di=
v class=3D""><br class=3D""></div></div></div><div class=3D"">This =
document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and =
targets the Standards Track.</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">I have a number of comments and =
concerns with this document, which amount to requesting the ADs to take =
a closer look:</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">3. &nbsp;Terminology<br class=3D""><br class=3D""><div =
class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;This document uses terminology from the softwire =
problem statement</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;RFC =
4925&nbsp;[RFC4925] and the softwire mesh framework&nbsp;RFC =
5565</div></div><div class=3D"">&nbsp;&nbsp; [RFC5565].</div><div =
class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: I think terminology =
from RFC 5512 is also heavily used.</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">5.1. &nbsp;The swmSupportedTunnelTable =
Subtree<br class=3D""><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;According</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;to =
section 4 of RFC 5512&nbsp;[RFC5512], current softwire mesh =
tunnel</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;types include IP-IP, GRE and =
L2TPv3.</div></div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">CMP: This is true, but at the same time there are now many =
other =E2=80=9Ccurrent tunnel types=E2=80=9D (which are actually BGP =
Tunnel Encapsulation Attribute Tunnel Types). See&nbsp;<a =
href=3D"http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtm=
l#tunnel-types" =
class=3D"">http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.x=
html#tunnel-types</a>&nbsp;Specifically the ones introduced by RFC5566 =
ought to be included.</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">CMP: This comment also applies to =
swmSupportedTunnelType</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">XX. Missing sub-TLVs</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: If the Tunnel Type is one which =
requires encapsulation information (e.g., L2TPv3 Session ID, Cookie, GRE =
Key, etc.), how is that information managed? I cannot seem to find it in =
the MIB Module. See Section 4.1 of RFC 5512.</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: Similarly, what about Protocol =
Type and Color (S4.2 and 4.3 of RFC 5512), and&nbsp;IPsec Tunnel =
Authenticator (RFC 5566)?</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">CMP: Similarly, what about the Load-Balancing Block values =
from RFC 5640? Without this, an ECMP-aware L2TPv3 tunnel will be =
misunderstood.</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">8. &nbsp;Security Considerations<br class=3D""><br =
class=3D""><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;The swmMIB module can be used =
for configuration of certain objects,</div></div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: How is this so, without read-write =
or read-create?</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">11. &nbsp;References<br class=3D""><br class=3D"">11.1. =
&nbsp;Normative References</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">CMP: Curiously, I do not see RFC 5566 or RFC 5640 =
referenced.</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">Hope=
 these help!</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">Thanks,</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">=E2=80=94 Carlos.</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div></body></html>=

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From: "Carlos Pignataro (cpignata)" <cpignata@cisco.com>
To: "int-dir@ietf.org" <int-dir@ietf.org>, "int-ads@ietf.org" <int-ads@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11 
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Subject: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11
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Hi,

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for =
draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11. These comments were written primarily =
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and =
shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat =
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with =
any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details =
on the INT Directorate, see =
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html =
<http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html>.

This document defines MIB objects to manage DS-Lite solutions, and =
targets the Standards Track.

Please find some minor review comments:

5.  Difference from the IP tunnel MIB and NATV2-MIB

   Notes: According to section 5.2 of [RFC6333], DS-Lite only defines
   IPv4 in IPv6 tunnels at this moment, but other types of encapsulation
   could be defined in the future.  So this DS-Lite MIB only supports IP
   in IP encapsulation, if another RFC defined other tunnel types in the
   future, this DS-Lite MIB will be updated then.

CMP: Should the above say that this only supports IPv4-in-IPv6?

   The implementation of the IP Tunnel MIB is required for DS-Lite.  The
   tunnelIfEncapsMethod in the tunnelIfEntry should be set to
   dsLite("xx"), and a corresponding entry in the DS-Lite module will
   exist for every tunnelIfEntry with this tunnelIfEncapsMethod.  The
   tunnelIfRemoteInetAddress must be set to "::=E2=80=9D.

CMP: Might be useful to add that this is because the tunnel is not =
point-to-point.

      dsliteAFTRAlarmConnectNumber OBJECT-TYPE
         SYNTAX Integer32 (60..90)
         MAX-ACCESS read-write

CMP: Has this been checked? =
https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/writable-mib-module.html =
<https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/writable-mib-module.html>

9.  Security Considerations

   There are a number of management objects defined in this MIB module
   with a MAX-ACCESS clause of read-write and/or read-create.

CMP: I only saw one read-write and no read-create. Are there =E2=80=9Ca =
number of =E2=80=A6=E2=80=9D?

12.2.  Informative References

   [RFC2119]  Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate
              Requirement Levels", BCP 14, RFC 2119,
              DOI 10.17487/RFC2119, March 1997,
              <http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2119>.

CMP: Why is RFC 2119 Informative?

I hope these are useful!

Thanks,

=E2=80=94 Carlos.

--Apple-Mail=_0FB02800-92C3-473B-A824-B0E088E0987C
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<html><head><meta http-equiv=3D"Content-Type" content=3D"text/html =
charset=3Dutf-8"></head><body style=3D"word-wrap: break-word; =
-webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space;" =
class=3D"">Hi,<div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">I am =
an assigned INT directorate reviewer for =
draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11.&nbsp;These comments were written =
primarily for the benefit of the Internet&nbsp;Area Directors. Document =
editors and shepherd(s) should treat these&nbsp;comments just like they =
would treat comments from any other IETF&nbsp;contributors and resolve =
them along with any other Last Call comments&nbsp;that have been =
received. For more details on the INT Directorate,&nbsp;see <a =
href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html" =
class=3D"">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html</a>.</div><di=
v class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D""><div class=3D"">This =
document defines MIB objects to manage DS-Lite solutions, and targets =
the Standards Track.</div></div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">Please find some minor review comments:</div><div =
class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">5. &nbsp;Difference from =
the IP tunnel MIB and NATV2-MIB</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;Notes: According =
to&nbsp;section 5.2 of [RFC6333], DS-Lite only defines<div =
class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;IPv4 in IPv6 tunnels at this moment, but other =
types of encapsulation</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;could be =
defined in the future. &nbsp;So this DS-Lite MIB only supports =
IP</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;in IP encapsulation, if another RFC =
defined other tunnel types in the</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; =
&nbsp;future, this DS-Lite MIB will be updated then.</div></div><div =
class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: Should the above =
say that this only supports IPv4-in-IPv6?</div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D""><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;The =
implementation of the IP Tunnel MIB is required for DS-Lite. =
&nbsp;The</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;tunnelIfEncapsMethod in the =
tunnelIfEntry should be set to</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; =
&nbsp;dsLite("xx"), and a corresponding entry in the DS-Lite module =
will</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;exist for every tunnelIfEntry =
with this tunnelIfEncapsMethod. &nbsp;The</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; =
&nbsp;tunnelIfRemoteInetAddress must be set to "::=E2=80=9D.</div></div><d=
iv class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: Might be useful =
to add that this is because the tunnel is not point-to-point.</div><div =
class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D""><div class=3D"">&nbsp; =
&nbsp; &nbsp; dsliteAFTRAlarmConnectNumber OBJECT-TYPE</div><div =
class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;SYNTAX Integer32 =
(60..90)</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; =
&nbsp;MAX-ACCESS read-write</div></div><div class=3D""><br =
class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: Has this been checked?&nbsp;<a =
href=3D"https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/writable-mib-module.html" =
class=3D"">https://www.ietf.org/iesg/statement/writable-mib-module.html</a=
></div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">9. =
&nbsp;Security Considerations<br class=3D""><br class=3D""><div =
class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;There are a number of management objects defined =
in this MIB module</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;with a MAX-ACCESS =
clause of read-write and/or read-create.&nbsp;</div></div><div =
class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: I only saw one =
read-write and no read-create. Are there =E2=80=9Ca number of =
=E2=80=A6=E2=80=9D?</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">12.2. &nbsp;Informative References<br class=3D""><div =
class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp;[RFC2119] =
&nbsp;Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate</div><div =
class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Requirement =
Levels", BCP 14,&nbsp;RFC 2119,</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp; =
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; DOI 10.17487/RFC2119, March =
1997,</div><div class=3D"">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; =
&nbsp; &lt;<a href=3D"http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2119" =
class=3D"">http://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc2119</a>&gt;.</div></div><div=
 class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">CMP: Why is RFC 2119 =
Informative?</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div class=3D"">I =
hope these are useful!</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">Thanks,</div><div class=3D""><br class=3D""></div><div =
class=3D"">=E2=80=94 Carlos.</div></body></html>=

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Thread-Topic: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11
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Thanks for your review Carlos. Authors, can you please respond to this revi=
ew.=0A=
=0A=
Regards=0A=
Suresh=0A=
=0A=
On 10/22/2015 03:01 PM, Carlos Pignataro (cpignata) wrote:=0A=
> Hi,=0A=
>=0A=
> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for=0A=
> draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written primarily fo=
r=0A=
> the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd=
(s)=0A=
> should treat these comments just like they would treat comments from any=
=0A=
> other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call=
=0A=
> comments that have been received. For more details on the INT=0A=
> Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html.=0A=
>=0A=
> This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and=
=0A=
> targets the Standards Track.=0A=
>=0A=
> I have a number of comments and concerns with this document, which amount=
 to=0A=
> requesting the ADs to take a closer look:=0A=
>=0A=
> 3.  Terminology=0A=
>=0A=
>     This document uses terminology from the softwire problem statement=0A=
>     RFC 4925 [RFC4925] and the softwire mesh framework RFC 5565=0A=
>     [RFC5565].=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: I think terminology from RFC 5512 is also heavily used.=0A=
>=0A=
> 5.1.  The swmSupportedTunnelTable Subtree=0A=
>=0A=
>     According=0A=
>     to section 4 of RFC 5512 [RFC5512], current softwire mesh tunnel=0A=
>     types include IP-IP, GRE and L2TPv3.=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: This is true, but at the same time there are now many other =93curre=
nt=0A=
> tunnel types=94 (which are actually BGP Tunnel Encapsulation Attribute Tu=
nnel=0A=
> Types). See=0A=
> http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtml#tunne=
l-types Specifically=0A=
> the ones introduced by RFC5566 ought to be included.=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: This comment also applies to swmSupportedTunnelType=0A=
>=0A=
> XX. Missing sub-TLVs=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: If the Tunnel Type is one which requires encapsulation information=
=0A=
> (e.g., L2TPv3 Session ID, Cookie, GRE Key, etc.), how is that information=
=0A=
> managed? I cannot seem to find it in the MIB Module. See Section 4.1 of R=
FC 5512.=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: Similarly, what about Protocol Type and Color (S4.2 and 4.3 of RFC=
=0A=
> 5512), and IPsec Tunnel Authenticator (RFC 5566)?=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: Similarly, what about the Load-Balancing Block values from RFC 5640?=
=0A=
> Without this, an ECMP-aware L2TPv3 tunnel will be misunderstood.=0A=
>=0A=
> 8.  Security Considerations=0A=
>=0A=
>     The swmMIB module can be used for configuration of certain objects,=
=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: How is this so, without read-write or read-create?=0A=
>=0A=
> 11.  References=0A=
>=0A=
> 11.1.  Normative References=0A=
>=0A=
> CMP: Curiously, I do not see RFC 5566 or RFC 5640 referenced.=0A=
>=0A=
> Hope these help!=0A=
>=0A=
> Thanks,=0A=
>=0A=
> =97 Carlos.=0A=
>=0A=
=0A=


From nobody Sun Oct 25 00:52:42 2015
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Subject: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11
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Hi,

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11. These comments were written primarily
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.

Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they
would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them
along with any other

Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT
Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html.

This document defines MIB objects to manage DS-Lite solutions, and targets
the Standards Track.

Please find some minor review comments:

1) As the coordination with the NATv2-MIB (the draft has not published),
the MIB checker reports several errors in this DS-Lite MIB.

2) In section 6.1.1,  =E2=80=9CBecause some objects defined in the IP Tunne=
l MIB
are not read-write and read-only, a few new objects are defined in DS- Lite
MIB.=E2=80=9D What is the =E2=80=9Cread-write=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9Cread-on=
ly=E2=80=9D? If it is a special meaning
words in MIB, it need a quotation mark here.

3) In page 8,
=E2=80=9CdsliteTunnelAddressType OBJECT-TYPE
SYNTAX InetAddressType
MAX-ACCESS not-accessible
STATUS current
DESCRIPTION
" This object MUST be set to the value of ipv6(2).
It describes the address type of the IPv4-in-IPv6
tunnel initiator and endpoint."
::=3D { dsliteTunnelEntry 1 }=E2=80=9D

There=E2=80=99s no scenario requiring ipv6z(4)?  It needs a REFERENCE to RF=
C 4001
in this object definition.


4) In page 10, DsliteNATBindEntry: I think
dsliteNATBindMappingExtAddressType and dsliteNATBindMappingIntAddressType
should just be dsliteNATBindMappingAddressType and apply to both. If all
address objects in the row are of the same type, you only need one type
object.

5) In page 11, it needs a REFERENCE to RFC 4001 in the definition of
dsliteNATBindMappingExtPort.

6) In page 12, it need some description to describe =E2=80=9CendpointIndepe=
ndent,
addressDependent, addressAndPortDependent=E2=80=9D in more detail in the
DESCRIPTION of dsliteNATBindMappingMapBehavior.
 The same comments to the =E2=80=9Carbitrary, paired=E2=80=9D in
dsliteMATBindMappingAddressPooling. A REFERENCE is also needed.

7) In page 14, it needs to define a DEFVAL value for
dsliteAFTRAlarmConnectionNumber.

8) Whether dsliteStatisticSubscriberIdex is enough or direct to get
subscribers' information?

9) I am not very sure what is dsliteStatisticIpv6Session mean? As for IPv6
traffic, there seems no mapping.

10)Whether there has requirement to support multiple instances in DS-Lite?

Best regards,

DENG Hui

--001a113fad6cb092bf0522e920cb
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

<div dir=3D"ltr">Hi,=C2=A0<div><br></div><div><div>I am an assigned INT dir=
ectorate reviewer for draft-ietf-softwire-dslite-mib-11. These comments wer=
e written primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.=C2=A0</=
div><div><br></div><div>Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these=
 comments just like they would treat comments from any other IETF contribut=
ors and resolve them along with any other=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>La=
st Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT Direc=
torate, see <a href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html">h=
ttp://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html</a>.</div><div><br></div><=
div>This document defines MIB objects to manage DS-Lite solutions, and targ=
ets the Standards Track.</div><div><br></div><div>Please find some minor re=
view comments:</div><div><br></div><div>1) As the coordination with the NAT=
v2-MIB (the draft has not published), the MIB checker reports several error=
s in this DS-Lite MIB.</div><div><br></div><div>2) In section 6.1.1, =C2=A0=
=E2=80=9CBecause some objects defined in the IP Tunnel MIB are not read-wri=
te and read-only, a few new objects are defined in DS- Lite MIB.=E2=80=9D W=
hat is the =E2=80=9Cread-write=E2=80=9D and =E2=80=9Cread-only=E2=80=9D? If=
 it is a special meaning words in MIB, it need a quotation mark here.</div>=
<div><br></div><div>3) In page 8,=C2=A0</div><div>=E2=80=9CdsliteTunnelAddr=
essType OBJECT-TYPE</div><div>SYNTAX InetAddressType</div><div>MAX-ACCESS n=
ot-accessible</div><div>STATUS current</div><div>DESCRIPTION</div><div>&quo=
t; This object MUST be set to the value of ipv6(2).</div><div>It describes =
the address type of the IPv4-in-IPv6</div><div>tunnel initiator and endpoin=
t.&quot;</div><div>::=3D { dsliteTunnelEntry 1 }=E2=80=9D</div><div><br></d=
iv><div>There=E2=80=99s no scenario requiring ipv6z(4)?=C2=A0 It needs a RE=
FERENCE to RFC 4001 in this object definition.</div><div><br></div><div><br=
></div><div>4) In page 10, DsliteNATBindEntry: I think dsliteNATBindMapping=
ExtAddressType and dsliteNATBindMappingIntAddressType should just be dslite=
NATBindMappingAddressType and apply to both. If all address objects in the =
row are of the same type, you only need one type object.</div><div><br></di=
v><div>5) In page 11, it needs a REFERENCE to RFC 4001 in the definition of=
 dsliteNATBindMappingExtPort.</div><div><br></div><div>6) In page 12, it ne=
ed some description to describe =E2=80=9CendpointIndependent, addressDepend=
ent, addressAndPortDependent=E2=80=9D in more detail in the DESCRIPTION of =
dsliteNATBindMappingMapBehavior.=C2=A0</div><div>=C2=A0The same comments to=
 the =E2=80=9Carbitrary, paired=E2=80=9D in dsliteMATBindMappingAddressPool=
ing. A REFERENCE is also needed.</div><div><br></div><div>7) In page 14, it=
 needs to define a DEFVAL value for dsliteAFTRAlarmConnectionNumber.</div><=
/div><div><br><div>8) Whether dsliteStatisticSubscriberIdex is enough or di=
rect to get subscribers&#39; information?=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>9)=
 I am not very sure what is dsliteStatisticIpv6Session mean? As for IPv6 tr=
affic, there seems no mapping.=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>10)Whether th=
ere has requirement to support multiple instances in DS-Lite?=C2=A0</div></=
div><div><br></div><div>Best regards,</div><div><br></div><div>DENG Hui</di=
v><span lang=3D"EN-US" style=3D"font-size:12pt;font-family:=E5=AE=8B=E4=BD=
=93"></span></div>

--001a113fad6cb092bf0522e920cb--


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Subject: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11
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Hi

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written primarily for
the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.

Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they
would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them
along with any other

Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT
Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html.

This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and
targets the Standards Track.

Please find below review comments:

1) Page 5 in section 6.2, =E2=80=9CThe tunnelIfRemoteInetAddress MUST be se=
t to
0.0.0.0 for IPv4 or :: for IPv6 because it is a point to multi-point
tunnel.=E2=80=9D
It needs quotation mark for 0.0.0.0 and ::

2) In the MIB definitions, it needs REFERENCE for the IMPORT objects. eg:
swmEncapsEIPDst OBJECT-TYPE
SYNTAX InetAddress
MAX-ACCESS not-accessible
STATUS current
DESCRIPTION
"The E-IP destination prefix, which is
used for I-IP encapsulation destination looking up."
::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 2 }

It should add a REFERENCE =E2=80=9CE-IP and I-IP in RFC 5565 =E2=80=9D. The=
 same comment
for the definition of swmEncapsIIPDst.

3) In page 8,
swmEncapsEIPDstType OBJECT-TYPE
SYNTAX InetAddressType
MAX-ACCESS not-accessible
STATUS current
DESCRIPTION
"This object specifies the address type used for
swmEncapsEIPDst. It is different from the tunnelIfAddressType
in the tunnelIfTable."
::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 1 }

It should list ipv4(1) and ipv6(2) in the DESCRIPTION for different
scenario. Also it should add a REFERENCE to RFC 4001.

4) In page 8, SwmEncapsEntry: I think swmEncapsEIPDstType and
swmEncapsIIPDstType should just be swmEncapsIPDstType and apply to both. If
all address objects in

the row are of the same type, you only need one type object.

5) In page 7, =E2=80=9CRepresents the tunnel type that the AFBR supports=E2=
=80=9D in
definition of swmSupportedTunnelType. It need a clarification that It
represents the tunnel

type used for softwire mesh scenario.

6) As it states in the section 6.1, the ifInucastPkts counts the number of
IPv6 packets which are sent to the virtual interface for decapsulation into
IPv4. I

think it need some statistics objects to define for the softwire mesh such
as the number of the connection tunnel when running point to multi-point
tunnel.

7) Why not define a parameter for swmEncapsIIPDstPrefixLength?

8) In the swmEncapsGroup, there are only information about swmEncapsIIPDst
and swmEncapsIIPDstType, why there are not swmEncapsEIPDst and
swmEncapsIIPType and so on?

Best regards,

DENG Hui

--001a11402136ed8c7f0522e92ae7
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

<div dir=3D"ltr">Hi<div><br></div><div><div>I am an assigned INT directorat=
e reviewer for draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written=
 primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.=C2=A0</div><div>=
<br></div><div>Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments=
 just like they would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and r=
esolve them along with any other=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>Last Call c=
omments that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, s=
ee <a href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html">http://www=
.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html</a>.</div><div><br></div><div>This =
document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and targets=
 the Standards Track.</div><div><br></div><div>Please find below review com=
ments:</div><div><br></div><div>1)<span class=3D"" style=3D"white-space:pre=
">	</span>Page 5 in section 6.2, =E2=80=9CThe tunnelIfRemoteInetAddress MUS=
T be set to 0.0.0.0 for IPv4 or :: for IPv6 because it is a point to multi-=
point tunnel.=E2=80=9D=C2=A0</div><div>It needs quotation mark for 0.0.0.0 =
and ::</div><div><br></div><div>2)<span class=3D"" style=3D"white-space:pre=
">	</span>In the MIB definitions, it needs REFERENCE for the IMPORT objects=
. eg:</div><div>swmEncapsEIPDst OBJECT-TYPE</div><div>SYNTAX InetAddress</d=
iv><div>MAX-ACCESS not-accessible</div><div>STATUS current</div><div>DESCRI=
PTION</div><div>&quot;The E-IP destination prefix, which is</div><div>used =
for I-IP encapsulation destination looking up.&quot;</div><div>::=3D { swmE=
ncapsEntry 2 }</div><div><br></div><div>It should add a REFERENCE =E2=80=9C=
E-IP and I-IP in RFC 5565 =E2=80=9D. The same comment for the definition of=
 swmEncapsIIPDst.</div><div><br></div><div>3)<span class=3D"" style=3D"whit=
e-space:pre">	</span>In page 8,=C2=A0</div><div>swmEncapsEIPDstType OBJECT-=
TYPE</div><div>SYNTAX InetAddressType</div><div>MAX-ACCESS not-accessible</=
div><div>STATUS current</div><div>DESCRIPTION</div><div>&quot;This object s=
pecifies the address type used for</div><div>swmEncapsEIPDst. It is differe=
nt from the tunnelIfAddressType</div><div>in the tunnelIfTable.&quot;</div>=
<div>::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 1 }</div><div><br></div><div>It should list ipv=
4(1) and ipv6(2) in the DESCRIPTION for different scenario. Also it should =
add a REFERENCE to RFC 4001.</div><div><br></div><div>4)<span class=3D"" st=
yle=3D"white-space:pre">	</span>In page 8, SwmEncapsEntry: I think swmEncap=
sEIPDstType and swmEncapsIIPDstType should just be swmEncapsIPDstType and a=
pply to both. If all address objects in=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>the =
row are of the same type, you only need one type object.</div><div><br></di=
v><div>5)<span class=3D"" style=3D"white-space:pre">	</span>In page 7, =E2=
=80=9CRepresents the tunnel type that the AFBR supports=E2=80=9D in definit=
ion of swmSupportedTunnelType. It need a clarification that It represents t=
he tunnel=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>type used for softwire mesh scenar=
io.</div><div><br></div><div>6)<span class=3D"" style=3D"white-space:pre">	=
</span>As it states in the section 6.1, the ifInucastPkts counts the number=
 of IPv6 packets which are sent to the virtual interface for decapsulation =
into IPv4. I=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>think it need some statistics o=
bjects to define for the softwire mesh such as the number of the connection=
 tunnel when running point to multi-point tunnel.</div><div><br></div><div>=
7)<span class=3D"" style=3D"white-space:pre">	</span>Why not define a param=
eter for swmEncapsIIPDstPrefixLength?=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>8)<spa=
n class=3D"" style=3D"white-space:pre">	</span>In the swmEncapsGroup, there=
 are only information about swmEncapsIIPDst and swmEncapsIIPDstType, why th=
ere are not swmEncapsEIPDst and swmEncapsIIPType and so on?=C2=A0</div><div=
><br></div></div><div>Best regards,</div><div><br></div><div>DENG Hui</div>=
</div>

--001a11402136ed8c7f0522e92ae7--


From nobody Sun Oct 25 18:29:30 2015
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From: Suresh Krishnan <suresh.krishnan@ericsson.com>
To: Hui Deng <denghui02@gmail.com>, "int-dir@ietf.org" <int-dir@ietf.org>, "int-ads@ietf.org" <int-ads@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib.all@ietf.org>
Thread-Topic: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11
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Date: Mon, 26 Oct 2015 01:29:23 +0000
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Thanks for your review Deng Hui. Authors, can you please respond to this =
=0A=
review and address the issues along with the ones raised in Carlos' Int Dir=
 =0A=
review.=0A=
=0A=
Regards=0A=
Suresh=0A=
=0A=
On 10/25/2015 03:55 AM, Hui Deng wrote:=0A=
> Hi=0A=
>=0A=
> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for=0A=
> draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written primarily fo=
r=0A=
> the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.=0A=
>=0A=
> Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like th=
ey=0A=
> would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them al=
ong=0A=
> with any other=0A=
>=0A=
> Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT=
=0A=
> Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html.=0A=
>=0A=
> This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and=
=0A=
> targets the Standards Track.=0A=
>=0A=
> Please find below review comments:=0A=
>=0A=
> 1)Page 5 in section 6.2, =93The tunnelIfRemoteInetAddress MUST be set to=
=0A=
> 0.0.0.0 for IPv4 or :: for IPv6 because it is a point to multi-point tunn=
el.=94=0A=
> It needs quotation mark for 0.0.0.0 and ::=0A=
>=0A=
> 2)In the MIB definitions, it needs REFERENCE for the IMPORT objects. eg:=
=0A=
> swmEncapsEIPDst OBJECT-TYPE=0A=
> SYNTAX InetAddress=0A=
> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible=0A=
> STATUS current=0A=
> DESCRIPTION=0A=
> "The E-IP destination prefix, which is=0A=
> used for I-IP encapsulation destination looking up."=0A=
> ::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 2 }=0A=
>=0A=
> It should add a REFERENCE =93E-IP and I-IP in RFC 5565 =94. The same comm=
ent for=0A=
> the definition of swmEncapsIIPDst.=0A=
>=0A=
> 3)In page 8,=0A=
> swmEncapsEIPDstType OBJECT-TYPE=0A=
> SYNTAX InetAddressType=0A=
> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible=0A=
> STATUS current=0A=
> DESCRIPTION=0A=
> "This object specifies the address type used for=0A=
> swmEncapsEIPDst. It is different from the tunnelIfAddressType=0A=
> in the tunnelIfTable."=0A=
> ::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 1 }=0A=
>=0A=
> It should list ipv4(1) and ipv6(2) in the DESCRIPTION for different scena=
rio.=0A=
> Also it should add a REFERENCE to RFC 4001.=0A=
>=0A=
> 4)In page 8, SwmEncapsEntry: I think swmEncapsEIPDstType and=0A=
> swmEncapsIIPDstType should just be swmEncapsIPDstType and apply to both. =
If=0A=
> all address objects in=0A=
>=0A=
> the row are of the same type, you only need one type object.=0A=
>=0A=
> 5)In page 7, =93Represents the tunnel type that the AFBR supports=94 in=
=0A=
> definition of swmSupportedTunnelType. It need a clarification that It=0A=
> represents the tunnel=0A=
>=0A=
> type used for softwire mesh scenario.=0A=
>=0A=
> 6)As it states in the section 6.1, the ifInucastPkts counts the number of=
=0A=
> IPv6 packets which are sent to the virtual interface for decapsulation in=
to=0A=
> IPv4. I=0A=
>=0A=
> think it need some statistics objects to define for the softwire mesh suc=
h as=0A=
> the number of the connection tunnel when running point to multi-point tun=
nel.=0A=
>=0A=
> 7)Why not define a parameter for swmEncapsIIPDstPrefixLength?=0A=
>=0A=
> 8)In the swmEncapsGroup, there are only information about swmEncapsIIPDst=
 and=0A=
> swmEncapsIIPDstType, why there are not swmEncapsEIPDst and swmEncapsIIPTy=
pe=0A=
> and so on?=0A=
>=0A=
> Best regards,=0A=
>=0A=
> DENG Hui=0A=
=0A=


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I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.  These comments were written primarily
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and
shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with
any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details
on the INT Directorate, see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.

Review submitted by Ralph Droms

Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work
with the WG to revise the document and review future revisions.

There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other reviews
because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.

Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments apply
to the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific
issues, roughly in the order of appearance in the document.

1. Goals and requirements are unclear

The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract
and most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal 6TiSCH
Configuration".  Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2
IEEE 802.15.4 service, an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???

Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set
of rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal
mode of operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).

2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised

This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to be
a highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers of
the protocol stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be
used in networks that don't use RPL.

My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used
to generate the Join Priority through the DAGRank function as
specified in section 7.2.  The use of RPL implies to me the
configuration and operation of a full IPv6 stack, which hardly seems
like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH.

I have a question about this text from section 7.2:

  When a node joins the network,
  it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids
  routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh topology.

What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that
IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between
neighbors and does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing
loops arise from running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?

Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH from
IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a
simpler, initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at which
time RPL will provide optimal routing.

3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents

I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a
while since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that disclaimer
in mind, how much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a restatement
of the IEEE 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification
of operational parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network?  Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead
to a lack of interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:

 6.  Acknowledgment

    Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to [IEEE802154].
    Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST request
    an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested bit in
    the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame type
    value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:

	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and the
	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].

Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is
harmless, the second sentence is a specification for this
document, the third and fourth sentences are a restatement of
[IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is an inferred specification for
this document.  The description of the IE is a restatement of
[IEEE802154].

Section 6 could be rewritten as:

 6. Acknowledgement frames

    Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST request
    an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an ACK/NACK
    Time Correction IE.

4. Default behavior versus learned behavior

Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this
document must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and
which are learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and
management questions out of scope for this document, such as:

 - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
   some other configuration?
 - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
   through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
   6TiSCH configuration" parameters?

5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the
network" mean time synchronization or something else:

  [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.

6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to
an Introduction.

7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the various
terms and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the terminology
section would simply point to relevant sections of [IEEE802154] and
[I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology].

8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of the
document, so as to avoid making those examples normative standards text.

9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the
specifics of an implementation and the section should be omitted.

10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally
useful if not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:

 A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
 until the node has successfully joined a network.

 Frame types BEACON and ACK

 Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
 frames containing higher-layer packets.


11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is
"timeslot", so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.

12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a
title to all tables), are the listed properties the only properties
that have numeric or short text string values?  If not, all of those
properties should be gathered together into a single table.  As an
editorial aside, this table is pretty much what I expected to be the
bulk of this document.

13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for
this minimal configuration, should there be a default?

14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes
represent?

15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level
implementation detail that can be omitted.

16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm,
I'll suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the
IEEE 802.15.4 spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't
entirely clear.  It would be clearer to write:

  For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
  of CCA is OPTIONAL.

17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.

18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:

  A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
  BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
  macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
  order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].

What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?

19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?

20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the
table in section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so,
I don't understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only
appears once in the rest of the document in section 5.

21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:

  Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
  [RFC6550].

This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of
the word "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh",
I can't find any support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL
routing protocol".  I think it would be much clearer and more correct
to quote verbatim the text describing this requirement from RFC 6550
rather than paraphrasing it here.

Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be
edited, and I think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC
6552.

  Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
  Function Zero [RFC6552].

While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of section
10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this
document, it appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement of
the RPL specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be omitted
(if RPL is retained as a part of this recommendation).


--Apple-Mail=_42E06616-4D13-4BA5-BA45-6492B2178025
Content-Disposition: attachment;
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I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.  These comments were written primarily
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and
shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with
any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details
on the INT Directorate, see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html. 

Review submitted by Ralph Droms

Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work
with the WG to revise the document and review future revisions.

There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other reviews
because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.

Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments apply
to the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific
issues, roughly in the order of appearance in the document.

1. Goals and requirements are unclear

The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract
and most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal 6TiSCH
Configuration".  Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2
IEEE 802.15.4 service, an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???

Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set
of rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal
mode of operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).

2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised

This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to be
a highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers of
the protocol stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be
used in networks that don't use RPL.

My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used
to generate the Join Priority through the DAGRank function as
specified in section 7.2.  The use of RPL implies to me the
configuration and operation of a full IPv6 stack, which hardly seems
like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH.

I have a question about this text from section 7.2:

   When a node joins the network,
   it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids
   routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh topology.

What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that
IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between
neighbors and does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing
loops arise from running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?

Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH from
IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a
simpler, initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at which
time RPL will provide optimal routing.

3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents

I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a
while since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that disclaimer
in mind, how much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a restatement
of the IEEE 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification
of operational parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network?  Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead
to a lack of interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:

  6.  Acknowledgment

     Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to [IEEE802154].
     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST request
     an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested bit in
     the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame type
     value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:

	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and the
	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].

Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is
harmless, the second sentence is a specification for this
document, the third and fourth sentences are a restatement of
[IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is an inferred specification for
this document.  The description of the IE is a restatement of
[IEEE802154].

Section 6 could be rewritten as:

  6. Acknowledgement frames

     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST request
     an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an ACK/NACK
     Time Correction IE.

4. Default behavior versus learned behavior

Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this
document must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and
which are learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and
management questions out of scope for this document, such as:

  - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
    some other configuration?
  - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
    through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
    6TiSCH configuration" parameters?

5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the
network" mean time synchronization or something else:

   [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.

6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to
an Introduction.

7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the various
terms and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the terminology
section would simply point to relevant sections of [IEEE802154] and
[I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology].

8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of the
document, so as to avoid making those examples normative standards text.

9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the
specifics of an implementation and the section should be omitted.

10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally
useful if not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:

  A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
  until the node has successfully joined a network.

  Frame types BEACON and ACK 

  Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
  frames containing higher-layer packets.


11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is
"timeslot", so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.

12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a
title to all tables), are the listed properties the only properties
that have numeric or short text string values?  If not, all of those
properties should be gathered together into a single table.  As an
editorial aside, this table is pretty much what I expected to be the
bulk of this document.

13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for
this minimal configuration, should there be a default?

14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes
represent?

15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level
implementation detail that can be omitted.

16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm,
I'll suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the
IEEE 802.15.4 spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't
entirely clear.  It would be clearer to write:

   For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
   of CCA is OPTIONAL.

17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.

18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:

   A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
   BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
   macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
   order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].

What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?

19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?

20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the
table in section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so,
I don't understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only
appears once in the rest of the document in section 5.

21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:

   Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
   [RFC6550].

This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of
the word "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh",
I can't find any support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL
routing protocol".  I think it would be much clearer and more correct
to quote verbatim the text describing this requirement from RFC 6550
rather than paraphrasing it here.

Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be
edited, and I think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC
6552.

   Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
   Function Zero [RFC6552].

While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of section
10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this
document, it appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement of
the RPL specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be omitted
(if RPL is retained as a part of this recommendation).


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From: Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>
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I just noticed I didn't complete the text for comment 10.  Here is the =
revised review.

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.  These comments were written primarily
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and
shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with
any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details
on the INT Directorate, see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.

Review submitted by Ralph Droms

Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work
with the WG to revise the document and review future revisions.

There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other reviews
because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.

Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments apply
to the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific
issues, roughly in the order of appearance in the document.

1. Goals and requirements are unclear

The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract
and most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal 6TiSCH
Configuration".  Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2
IEEE 802.15.4 service, an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???

Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set
of rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal
mode of operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).

2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised

This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to be
a highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers of
the protocol stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be
used in networks that don't use RPL.

My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used
to generate the Join Priority through the DAGRank function as
specified in section 7.2.  The use of RPL implies to me the
configuration and operation of a full IPv6 stack, which hardly seems
like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH.

I have a question about this text from section 7.2:

   When a node joins the network,
   it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids
   routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh topology.

What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that
IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between
neighbors and does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing
loops arise from running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?

Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH from
IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a
simpler, initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at which
time RPL will provide optimal routing.

3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents

I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a
while since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that disclaimer
in mind, how much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a restatement
of the IEEE 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification
of operational parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network?  Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead
to a lack of interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:

  6.  Acknowledgment

     Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to =
[IEEE802154].
     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST =
request
     an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested bit =
in
     the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame =
type
     value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:

	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and =
the
	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].

Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is
harmless, the second sentence is a specification for this
document, the third and fourth sentences are a restatement of
[IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is an inferred specification for
this document.  The description of the IE is a restatement of
[IEEE802154].

Section 6 could be rewritten as:

  6. Acknowledgement frames

     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST =
request
     an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an ACK/NACK
     Time Correction IE.

4. Default behavior versus learned behavior

Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this
document must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and
which are learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and
management questions out of scope for this document, such as:

  - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
    some other configuration?
  - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
    through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
    6TiSCH configuration" parameters?

5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the
network" mean time synchronization or something else:

   [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.

6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to
an Introduction.

7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the various
terms and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the terminology
section would simply point to relevant sections of [IEEE802154] and
[I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology].

8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of the
document, so as to avoid making those examples normative standards text.

9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the
specifics of an implementation and the section should be omitted.

10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally
useful if not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:

  A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
  until the node has successfully joined a network.

  Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
  frames containing higher-layer packets.

  Frame types BEACON and COMMAND are transmitted before frame types
  DATA and ACK.

  A node has to be prepared to send a BEACON or COMMAND frame at any
  time.

I've tried to infer the desired behavior from the description of queue
usage.  If I understand the original text correctly, there is no
difference between the second and third requirements.

11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is
"timeslot", so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.

12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a
title to all tables), are the listed properties the only properties
that have numeric or short text string values?  If not, all of those
properties should be gathered together into a single table.  As an
editorial aside, this table is pretty much what I expected to be the
bulk of this document.

13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for
this minimal configuration, should there be a default?

14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes
represent?

15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level
implementation detail that can be omitted.

16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm,
I'll suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the
IEEE 802.15.4 spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't
entirely clear.  It would be clearer to write:

   For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
   of CCA is OPTIONAL.

17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.

18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:

   A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
   BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
   macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
   order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].

What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?

19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?

20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the
table in section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so,
I don't understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only
appears once in the rest of the document in section 5.

21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:

   Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
   [RFC6550].

This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of
the word "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh",
I can't find any support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL
routing protocol".  I think it would be much clearer and more correct
to quote verbatim the text describing this requirement from RFC 6550
rather than paraphrasing it here.

Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be
edited, and I think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC
6552.

   Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
   Function Zero [RFC6552].

While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of section
10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this
document, it appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement of
the RPL specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be omitted
(if RPL is retained as a part of this recommendation).


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I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.  These comments were written primarily
for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and
shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with
any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details
on the INT Directorate, see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html. 

Review submitted by Ralph Droms

Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work
with the WG to revise the document and review future revisions.

There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other reviews
because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.

Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments apply
to the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific
issues, roughly in the order of appearance in the document.

1. Goals and requirements are unclear

The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract
and most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal 6TiSCH
Configuration".  Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2
IEEE 802.15.4 service, an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???

Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set
of rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal
mode of operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).

2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised

This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to be
a highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers of
the protocol stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be
used in networks that don't use RPL.

My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used
to generate the Join Priority through the DAGRank function as
specified in section 7.2.  The use of RPL implies to me the
configuration and operation of a full IPv6 stack, which hardly seems
like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH.

I have a question about this text from section 7.2:

   When a node joins the network,
   it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids
   routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh topology.

What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that
IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between
neighbors and does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing
loops arise from running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?

Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH from
IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a
simpler, initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at which
time RPL will provide optimal routing.

3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents

I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a
while since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that disclaimer
in mind, how much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a restatement
of the IEEE 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification
of operational parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4
TSCH network?  Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead
to a lack of interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:

  6.  Acknowledgment

     Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to [IEEE802154].
     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST request
     an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested bit in
     the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame type
     value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:

	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and the
	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].

Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is
harmless, the second sentence is a specification for this
document, the third and fourth sentences are a restatement of
[IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is an inferred specification for
this document.  The description of the IE is a restatement of
[IEEE802154].

Section 6 could be rewritten as:

  6. Acknowledgement frames

     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST request
     an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an ACK/NACK
     Time Correction IE.

4. Default behavior versus learned behavior

Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this
document must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and
which are learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and
management questions out of scope for this document, such as:

  - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
    some other configuration?
  - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
    through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
    6TiSCH configuration" parameters?

5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the
network" mean time synchronization or something else:

   [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.

6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to
an Introduction.

7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the various
terms and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the terminology
section would simply point to relevant sections of [IEEE802154] and
[I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology].

8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of the
document, so as to avoid making those examples normative standards text.

9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the
specifics of an implementation and the section should be omitted.

10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally
useful if not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:

  A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
  until the node has successfully joined a network.

  Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
  frames containing higher-layer packets.

  Frame types BEACON and COMMAND are transmitted before frame types
  DATA and ACK.

  A node has to be prepared to send a BEACON or COMMAND frame at any
  time.

I've tried to infer the desired behavior from the description of queue
usage.  If I understand the original text correctly, there is no
difference between the second and third requirements.

11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is
"timeslot", so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.

12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a
title to all tables), are the listed properties the only properties
that have numeric or short text string values?  If not, all of those
properties should be gathered together into a single table.  As an
editorial aside, this table is pretty much what I expected to be the
bulk of this document.

13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for
this minimal configuration, should there be a default?

14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes
represent?

15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level
implementation detail that can be omitted.

16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm,
I'll suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the
IEEE 802.15.4 spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't
entirely clear.  It would be clearer to write:

   For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
   of CCA is OPTIONAL.

17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.

18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:

   A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
   BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
   macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
   order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].

What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?

19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?

20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the
table in section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so,
I don't understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only
appears once in the rest of the document in section 5.

21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:

   Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
   [RFC6550].

This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of
the word "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh",
I can't find any support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL
routing protocol".  I think it would be much clearer and more correct
to quote verbatim the text describing this requirement from RFC 6550
rather than paraphrasing it here.

Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be
edited, and I think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC
6552.

   Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
   Function Zero [RFC6552].

While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of section
10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this
document, it appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement of
the RPL specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be omitted
(if RPL is retained as a part of this recommendation).


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From: "Pascal Thubert (pthubert)" <pthubert@cisco.com>
To: Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>, "<int-dir@ietf.org>" <int-dir@ietf.org>, "draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal.all@ietf.org" <draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal.all@ietf.org>
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Hello Ralph

Regarding specifically your item 2, about RPL.=20

This  may be related to your item 1 (clarity of the goal) but your comment =
indicates that you missed the point of this draft.

The point is to document a collection of protocols and settings that will e=
nable to build a 6TiSCH mesh network and lead to interoperable implementati=
ons.

6TiSCH defined that this minimal collection would include a TSCH MAC, IPv6,=
 6LoWPAN and RPL. This makes full sense to me and in any fashion is the gro=
up decision.

Cheers,

Pascal

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ralph Droms [mailto:rdroms.ietf@gmail.com]
> Sent: samedi 31 octobre 2015 08:49
> To: <int-dir@ietf.org> <int-dir@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-6tisch-
> minimal.all@ietf.org
> Subject: Re: INT-DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
>=20
> I just noticed I didn't complete the text for comment 10.  Here is the re=
vised
> review.
>=20
> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-1=
2.
> These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet Are=
a
> Directors. Document editors and
> shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
> comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with
> any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on
> the INT Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.
>=20
> Review submitted by Ralph Droms
>=20
> Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
> fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
> needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work wit=
h the
> WG to revise the document and review future revisions.
>=20
> There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other reviews
> because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.
>=20
> Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments apply to
> the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific issues=
,
> roughly in the order of appearance in the document.
>=20
> 1. Goals and requirements are unclear
>=20
> The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
> services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract and
> most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH
> network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal 6TiSCH Configuration".
> Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2 IEEE 802.15.4 servi=
ce,
> an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???
>=20
> Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set of
> rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal mode of
> operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).
>=20
> 2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised
>=20
> This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
> parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to be a
> highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers of the pro=
tocol
> stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be used in networks that don't =
use
> RPL.
>=20
> My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
> because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used to generate=
 the
> Join Priority through the DAGRank function as specified in section 7.2.  =
The
> use of RPL implies to me the configuration and operation of a full IPv6
> stack, which hardly seems like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE
> 802.15.4 TSCH.
>=20
> I have a question about this text from section 7.2:
>=20
>    When a node joins the network,
>    it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids
>    routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh topology.
>=20
> What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that IEEE
> 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between neighbors and
> does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing loops arise from
> running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?
>=20
> Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
> documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH from
> IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a simpler,
> initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
> 802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at which ti=
me
> RPL will provide optimal routing.
>=20
> 3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents
>=20
> I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a while
> since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that disclaimer in mind,=
 how
> much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a restatement of the IEEE
> 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification of operational
> parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH network?
> Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead to a lack of
> interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:
>=20
>   6.  Acknowledgment
>=20
>      Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to [IEEE802154]=
.
>      Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST reques=
t
>      an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested bit
> in
>      the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame type
>      value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:
>=20
> 	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
> 	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and
> the
> 	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
> 	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
> 	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].
>=20
> Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is harmless, =
the
> second sentence is a specification for this document, the third and fourt=
h
> sentences are a restatement of [IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is an
> inferred specification for this document.  The description of the IE is a
> restatement of [IEEE802154].
>=20
> Section 6 could be rewritten as:
>=20
>   6. Acknowledgement frames
>=20
>      Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST reques=
t
>      an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an ACK/NACK
>      Time Correction IE.
>=20
> 4. Default behavior versus learned behavior
>=20
> Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this documen=
t
> must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and which are
> learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and management
> questions out of scope for this document, such as:
>=20
>   - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
>     some other configuration?
>   - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
>     through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
>     6TiSCH configuration" parameters?
>=20
> 5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the networ=
k"
> mean time synchronization or something else:
>=20
>    [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.
>=20
> 6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to an
> Introduction.
>=20
> 7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
> document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the various te=
rms
> and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the terminology section
> would simply point to relevant sections of [IEEE802154] and [I-D.ietf-6ti=
sch-
> terminology].
>=20
> 8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of the
> document, so as to avoid making those examples normative standards text.
>=20
> 9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the spec=
ifics
> of an implementation and the section should be omitted.
>=20
> 10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally useful i=
f
> not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:
>=20
>   A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
>   until the node has successfully joined a network.
>=20
>   Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
>   frames containing higher-layer packets.
>=20
>   Frame types BEACON and COMMAND are transmitted before frame types
>   DATA and ACK.
>=20
>   A node has to be prepared to send a BEACON or COMMAND frame at any
>   time.
>=20
> I've tried to infer the desired behavior from the description of queue us=
age.
> If I understand the original text correctly, there is no difference betwe=
en the
> second and third requirements.
>=20
> 11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is "time=
slot",
> so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.
>=20
> 12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a title=
 to
> all tables), are the listed properties the only properties that have nume=
ric or
> short text string values?  If not, all of those properties should be gath=
ered
> together into a single table.  As an editorial aside, this table is prett=
y much
> what I expected to be the bulk of this document.
>=20
> 13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for this
> minimal configuration, should there be a default?
>=20
> 14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes represent?
>=20
> 15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level implementati=
on
> detail that can be omitted.
>=20
> 16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm, I'll
> suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the IEEE 802.1=
5.4
> spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't entirely clear.  It woul=
d be
> clearer to write:
>=20
>    For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
>    of CCA is OPTIONAL.
>=20
> 17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.
>=20
> 18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:
>=20
>    A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
>    BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
>    macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
>    order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].
>=20
> What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
> anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
> 802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
> macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?
>=20
> 19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?
>=20
> 20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the table i=
n
> section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so, I don't
> understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only appears once in t=
he
> rest of the document in section 5.
>=20
> 21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:
>=20
>    Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
>    [RFC6550].
>=20
> This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of the =
word
> "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh", I can't find=
 any
> support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL routing protocol".  I
> think it would be much clearer and more correct to quote verbatim the tex=
t
> describing this requirement from RFC 6550 rather than paraphrasing it
> here.
>=20
> Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be edited, a=
nd I
> think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC 6552.
>=20
>    Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
>    Function Zero [RFC6552].
>=20
> While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of section
> 10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this document, i=
t
> appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement of the RPL
> specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be omitted (if RPL is
> retained as a part of this recommendation).


From nobody Fri Oct 30 21:25:00 2015
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From: Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>
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Date: Sat, 31 Oct 2015 13:24:41 +0900
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> On Oct 31, 2015, at 12:45 PM 10/31/15, Pascal Thubert (pthubert) =
<pthubert@cisco.com> wrote:
>=20
> Hello Ralph
>=20
> Regarding specifically your item 2, about RPL.
>=20
> This  may be related to your item 1 (clarity of the goal) but your =
comment indicates that you missed the point of this draft.
>=20
> The point is to document a collection of protocols and settings that =
will enable to build a 6TiSCH mesh network and lead to interoperable =
implementations.

OK, but the first sentence of the abstract is:

   This document describes the minimal set of rules to operate an IEEE
   802.15.4 Timeslotted Channel Hopping (TSCH) network.

The *only* occurrence of the string "6tisch" (case insensitive) in the =
text of this document (not in citations, etc.) is in the Acknowledgments =
section:

   Also our acknowledge to the 6TiSCH
   Chairs Pascal Thubert and Thomas Watteyne for their guideance and
   advice.

How in the world would anyone know this document is intended to cover =
the entire stack as required by a "6TiSCH mesh network".

> 6TiSCH defined that this minimal collection would include a TSCH MAC, =
IPv6, 6LoWPAN and RPL. This makes full sense to me and in any fashion is =
the group decision.

I didn't say it wasn't a group decision ... I disagree with the group =
decision, as I understood the purpose of this document from the =
Abstract.

If this document is really supposed to describe the minimal requirements =
for the whole stack in a "6TiSCH mesh network", doesn't it need text =
describing address assignment, which flavor and how to use ND, etc., =
etc.

- Ralph

>=20
> Cheers,
>=20
> Pascal
>=20
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Ralph Droms [mailto:rdroms.ietf@gmail.com]
>> Sent: samedi 31 octobre 2015 08:49
>> To: <int-dir@ietf.org> <int-dir@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-6tisch-
>> minimal.all@ietf.org
>> Subject: Re: INT-DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
>>=20
>> I just noticed I didn't complete the text for comment 10.  Here is =
the revised
>> review.
>>=20
>> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for =
draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12.
>> These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet =
Area
>> Directors. Document editors and
>> shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
>> comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with
>> any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more =
details on
>> the INT Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.
>>=20
>> Review submitted by Ralph Droms
>>=20
>> Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
>> fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
>> needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work =
with the
>> WG to revise the document and review future revisions.
>>=20
>> There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other reviews
>> because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.
>>=20
>> Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments apply =
to
>> the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific =
issues,
>> roughly in the order of appearance in the document.
>>=20
>> 1. Goals and requirements are unclear
>>=20
>> The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
>> services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract =
and
>> most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE 802.15.4 =
TSCH
>> network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal 6TiSCH =
Configuration".
>> Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2 IEEE 802.15.4 =
service,
>> an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???
>>=20
>> Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set =
of
>> rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal =
mode of
>> operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).
>>=20
>> 2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised
>>=20
>> This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
>> parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to =
be a
>> highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers of the =
protocol
>> stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be used in networks that =
don't use
>> RPL.
>>=20
>> My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
>> because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used to =
generate the
>> Join Priority through the DAGRank function as specified in section =
7.2.  The
>> use of RPL implies to me the configuration and operation of a full =
IPv6
>> stack, which hardly seems like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE
>> 802.15.4 TSCH.
>>=20
>> I have a question about this text from section 7.2:
>>=20
>>   When a node joins the network,
>>   it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This =
avoids
>>   routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh =
topology.
>>=20
>> What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that =
IEEE
>> 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between neighbors =
and
>> does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing loops arise =
from
>> running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?
>>=20
>> Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
>> documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH =
from
>> IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a =
simpler,
>> initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
>> 802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at =
which time
>> RPL will provide optimal routing.
>>=20
>> 3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents
>>=20
>> I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a =
while
>> since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that disclaimer in =
mind, how
>> much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a restatement of the IEEE
>> 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification of =
operational
>> parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH network?
>> Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead to a lack of
>> interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:
>>=20
>>  6.  Acknowledgment
>>=20
>>     Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to =
[IEEE802154].
>>     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST =
request
>>     an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested =
bit
>> in
>>     the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame =
type
>>     value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:
>>=20
>> 	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
>> 	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and
>> the
>> 	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
>> 	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
>> 	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].
>>=20
>> Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is =
harmless, the
>> second sentence is a specification for this document, the third and =
fourth
>> sentences are a restatement of [IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is =
an
>> inferred specification for this document.  The description of the IE =
is a
>> restatement of [IEEE802154].
>>=20
>> Section 6 could be rewritten as:
>>=20
>>  6. Acknowledgement frames
>>=20
>>     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST =
request
>>     an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an ACK/NACK
>>     Time Correction IE.
>>=20
>> 4. Default behavior versus learned behavior
>>=20
>> Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this =
document
>> must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and which are
>> learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and management
>> questions out of scope for this document, such as:
>>=20
>>  - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
>>    some other configuration?
>>  - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
>>    through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
>>    6TiSCH configuration" parameters?
>>=20
>> 5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the =
network"
>> mean time synchronization or something else:
>>=20
>>   [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.
>>=20
>> 6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to =
an
>> Introduction.
>>=20
>> 7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
>> document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the =
various terms
>> and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the terminology =
section
>> would simply point to relevant sections of [IEEE802154] and =
[I-D.ietf-6tisch-
>> terminology].
>>=20
>> 8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of =
the
>> document, so as to avoid making those examples normative standards =
text.
>>=20
>> 9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the =
specifics
>> of an implementation and the section should be omitted.
>>=20
>> 10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally =
useful if
>> not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:
>>=20
>>  A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
>>  until the node has successfully joined a network.
>>=20
>>  Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
>>  frames containing higher-layer packets.
>>=20
>>  Frame types BEACON and COMMAND are transmitted before frame types
>>  DATA and ACK.
>>=20
>>  A node has to be prepared to send a BEACON or COMMAND frame at any
>>  time.
>>=20
>> I've tried to infer the desired behavior from the description of =
queue usage.
>> If I understand the original text correctly, there is no difference =
between the
>> second and third requirements.
>>=20
>> 11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is =
"timeslot",
>> so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.
>>=20
>> 12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a =
title to
>> all tables), are the listed properties the only properties that have =
numeric or
>> short text string values?  If not, all of those properties should be =
gathered
>> together into a single table.  As an editorial aside, this table is =
pretty much
>> what I expected to be the bulk of this document.
>>=20
>> 13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for =
this
>> minimal configuration, should there be a default?
>>=20
>> 14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes =
represent?
>>=20
>> 15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level =
implementation
>> detail that can be omitted.
>>=20
>> 16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm, =
I'll
>> suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the IEEE =
802.15.4
>> spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't entirely clear.  It =
would be
>> clearer to write:
>>=20
>>   For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
>>   of CCA is OPTIONAL.
>>=20
>> 17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.
>>=20
>> 18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:
>>=20
>>   A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
>>   BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
>>   macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
>>   order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].
>>=20
>> What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
>> anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
>> 802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
>> macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?
>>=20
>> 19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?
>>=20
>> 20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the =
table in
>> section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so, I don't
>> understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only appears once =
in the
>> rest of the document in section 5.
>>=20
>> 21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:
>>=20
>>   Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
>>   [RFC6550].
>>=20
>> This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of =
the word
>> "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh", I can't =
find any
>> support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL routing =
protocol".  I
>> think it would be much clearer and more correct to quote verbatim the =
text
>> describing this requirement from RFC 6550 rather than paraphrasing it
>> here.
>>=20
>> Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be =
edited, and I
>> think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC 6552.
>>=20
>>   Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
>>   Function Zero [RFC6552].
>>=20
>> While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of =
section
>> 10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this =
document, it
>> appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement of the RPL
>> specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be omitted (if RPL =
is
>> retained as a part of this recommendation).
>=20


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From: "Pascal Thubert (pthubert)" <pthubert@cisco.com>
To: Ralph Droms <rdroms.ietf@gmail.com>
Thread-Topic: INT-DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
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Subject: Re: [Int-dir] INT-DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
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All good points, Ralph.

I agree with the need to improve the abstract.=20

The main structure of a 6TiSCH network with RPl and all is in the architect=
ure draft but that doc is now delayed.

6LoWPAN ND does not really have options so there was no need to spend text =
on it. We could mention it though, since the architecture cannot be referen=
ced.

Cheers,

Pascal


> -----Original Message-----
> From: Ralph Droms [mailto:rdroms.ietf@gmail.com]
> Sent: samedi 31 octobre 2015 13:25
> To: Pascal Thubert (pthubert) <pthubert@cisco.com>
> Cc: <int-dir@ietf.org> <int-dir@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-6tisch-
> minimal.all@ietf.org
> Subject: Re: INT-DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
>=20
>=20
> > On Oct 31, 2015, at 12:45 PM 10/31/15, Pascal Thubert (pthubert)
> <pthubert@cisco.com> wrote:
> >
> > Hello Ralph
> >
> > Regarding specifically your item 2, about RPL.
> >
> > This  may be related to your item 1 (clarity of the goal) but your comm=
ent
> indicates that you missed the point of this draft.
> >
> > The point is to document a collection of protocols and settings that wi=
ll
> enable to build a 6TiSCH mesh network and lead to interoperable
> implementations.
>=20
> OK, but the first sentence of the abstract is:
>=20
>    This document describes the minimal set of rules to operate an IEEE
>    802.15.4 Timeslotted Channel Hopping (TSCH) network.
>=20
> The *only* occurrence of the string "6tisch" (case insensitive) in the te=
xt of
> this document (not in citations, etc.) is in the Acknowledgments section:
>=20
>    Also our acknowledge to the 6TiSCH
>    Chairs Pascal Thubert and Thomas Watteyne for their guideance and
>    advice.
>=20
> How in the world would anyone know this document is intended to cover
> the entire stack as required by a "6TiSCH mesh network".
>=20
> > 6TiSCH defined that this minimal collection would include a TSCH MAC,
> IPv6, 6LoWPAN and RPL. This makes full sense to me and in any fashion is
> the group decision.
>=20
> I didn't say it wasn't a group decision ... I disagree with the group dec=
ision,
> as I understood the purpose of this document from the Abstract.
>=20
> If this document is really supposed to describe the minimal requirements
> for the whole stack in a "6TiSCH mesh network", doesn't it need text
> describing address assignment, which flavor and how to use ND, etc., etc.
>=20
> - Ralph
>=20
> >
> > Cheers,
> >
> > Pascal
> >
> >> -----Original Message-----
> >> From: Ralph Droms [mailto:rdroms.ietf@gmail.com]
> >> Sent: samedi 31 octobre 2015 08:49
> >> To: <int-dir@ietf.org> <int-dir@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-6tisch-
> >> minimal.all@ietf.org
> >> Subject: Re: INT-DIR review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
> >>
> >> I just noticed I didn't complete the text for comment 10.  Here is
> >> the revised review.
> >>
> >> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for draft-ietf-6tisch-minima=
l-
> 12.
> >> These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet
> >> Area Directors. Document editors and
> >> shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat
> >> comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along
> with
> >> any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more
> >> details on the INT Directorate, see
> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.
> >>
> >> Review submitted by Ralph Droms
> >>
> >> Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the
> >> fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the document
> >> needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will be happy to work
> >> with the WG to revise the document and review future revisions.
> >>
> >> There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other
> reviews
> >> because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my review.
> >>
> >> Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments
> apply
> >> to the document as a whole, while the remainder address more specific
> >> issues, roughly in the order of appearance in the document.
> >>
> >> 1. Goals and requirements are unclear
> >>
> >> The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly what
> >> services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The Abstract
> >> and most of the document talks about the operation of an IEEE
> >> 802.15.4 TSCH network, yet the title of the document is "Minimal
> 6TiSCH Configuration".
> >> Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2 IEEE 802.15.4
> >> service, an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???
> >>
> >> Related to this question, does this document describe "a minimal set
> >> of rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH network" or a "minimal
> >> mode of operation" (both text snippets from the Abstract).
> >>
> >> 2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised
> >>
> >> This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operational
> >> parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL, which seems to me to
> >> be a highly undesirable entangling of protocols at different layers
> >> of the protocol stack.  IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be used in
> >> networks that don't use RPL.
> >>
> >> My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be in use
> >> because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then used to
> >> generate the Join Priority through the DAGRank function as specified
> >> in section 7.2.  The use of RPL implies to me the configuration and
> >> operation of a full IPv6 stack, which hardly seems like a minimal
> >> mode of operation for IEEE
> >> 802.15.4 TSCH.
> >>
> >> I have a question about this text from section 7.2:
> >>
> >>   When a node joins the network,
> >>   it MUST NOT send EBs before having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids
> >>   routing loops and matches RPL topology with underlying mesh
> topology.
> >>
> >> What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is that
> >> IEEE
> >> 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery between neighbors
> >> and does not provide frame forwarding.  How would routing loops arise
> >> from running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?
> >>
> >> Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite and
> >> documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH
> >> from IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG considered allowing a
> >> simpler, initial Join Priority scheme that would provide minimal IEEE
> >> 802.15.4 TSCH operation until the full IPv6 suite is running, at
> >> which time RPL will provide optimal routing.
> >>
> >> 3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents
> >>
> >> I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has been a
> >> while since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With that
> >> disclaimer in mind, how much of the text in sections 3 through 9 is a
> >> restatement of the IEEE
> >> 802.15.4 specification and how much is the specification of
> >> operational parameters for minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH
> network?
> >> Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead to a lack of
> >> interoperability.  As a small example, here is section 6:
> >>
> >>  6.  Acknowledgment
> >>
> >>     Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to
> [IEEE802154].
> >>     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST
> request
> >>     an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested
> >> bit in
> >>     the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK (frame
> type
> >>     value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:
> >>
> >> 	ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE
> >> 	carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and
> the
> >> 	receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header IE
> >> 	content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization
> >> 	Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].
> >>
> >> Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is
> >> harmless, the second sentence is a specification for this document,
> >> the third and fourth sentences are a restatement of [IEEE802154] and
> >> the fifth sentence is an inferred specification for this document.
> >> The description of the IE is a restatement of [IEEE802154].
> >>
> >> Section 6 could be rewritten as:
> >>
> >>  6. Acknowledgement frames
> >>
> >>     Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST
> request
> >>     an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an
> ACK/NACK
> >>     Time Correction IE.
> >>
> >> 4. Default behavior versus learned behavior
> >>
> >> Which of the configuration and operational specifications in this
> >> document must be pre-configured before a node joins the network, and
> >> which are learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are operational control and
> >> management questions out of scope for this document, such as:
> >>
> >>  - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH configuration" to
> >>    some other configuration?
> >>  - does a node use the configuration parameters it has received
> >>    through EBs to generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal
> >>    6TiSCH configuration" parameters?
> >>
> >> 5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with the
> network"
> >> mean time synchronization or something else:
> >>
> >>   [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.
> >>
> >> 6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is relevant to
> >> an Introduction.
> >>
> >> 7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in the
> >> document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of the
> >> various terms and acronyms used in the document.  Most likely, the
> >> terminology section would simply point to relevant sections of
> >> [IEEE802154] and [I-D.ietf-6tisch- terminology].
> >>
> >> 8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the body of
> >> the document, so as to avoid making those examples normative
> standards text.
> >>
> >> 9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent on the
> >> specifics of an implementation and the section should be omitted.
> >>
> >> 10. I think the information in section 8 would be more generally
> >> useful if not stated in terms of a queue-based implementation:
> >>
> >>  A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer packets
> >> until the node has successfully joined a network.
> >>
> >>  Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted before
> >> frames containing higher-layer packets.
> >>
> >>  Frame types BEACON and COMMAND are transmitted before frame
> types
> >> DATA and ACK.
> >>
> >>  A node has to be prepared to send a BEACON or COMMAND frame at
> any
> >> time.
> >>
> >> I've tried to infer the desired behavior from the description of queue
> usage.
> >> If I understand the original text correctly, there is no difference
> >> between the second and third requirements.
> >>
> >> 11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct term is
> >> "timeslot", so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the document.
> >>
> >> 12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and add a
> >> title to all tables), are the listed properties the only properties
> >> that have numeric or short text string values?  If not, all of those
> >> properties should be gathered together into a single table.  As an
> >> editorial aside, this table is pretty much what I expected to be the b=
ulk
> of this document.
> >>
> >> 13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable for
> >> this minimal configuration, should there be a default?
> >>
> >> 14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes
> represent?
> >>
> >> 15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level
> >> implementation detail that can be omitted.
> >>
> >> 16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to confirm,
> >> I'll suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a restatement of the
> >> IEEE 802.15.4 spec.  The last sentence is important, and isn't
> >> entirely clear.  It would be clearer to write:
> >>
> >>   For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the use
> >>   of CCA is OPTIONAL.
> >>
> >> 17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use macTimeslotTemplate.
> >>
> >> 18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to me:
> >>
> >>   A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly formed
> >>   BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the value of
> >>   macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of the scan in
> >>   order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].
> >>
> >> What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms used
> >> anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the IEEE
> >> 802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the value of
> >> macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?
> >>
> >> 19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time synchronization"?
> >>
> >> 20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in the
> >> table in section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related variables"?  If so,
> >> I don't understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in that table, as it only
> >> appears once in the rest of the document in section 5.
> >>
> >> 21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:
> >>
> >>   Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol
> >>   [RFC6550].
> >>
> >> This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad definition of
> >> the word "multihop".  Even if edited to "multilink subnet" or "mesh",
> >> I can't find any support in RFC 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL
> >> routing protocol".  I think it would be much clearer and more correct
> >> to quote verbatim the text describing this requirement from RFC 6550
> >> rather than paraphrasing it here.
> >>
> >> Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to be
> >> edited, and I think it should be replaced with quoted text from RFC 65=
52.
> >>
> >>   Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective
> >>   Function Zero [RFC6552].
> >>
> >> While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of
> >> section
> >> 10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals of this
> >> document, it appears to me that much of section 10 is a restatement
> >> of the RPL specification from RFC 6550 and should, therefore, be
> >> omitted (if RPL is retained as a part of this recommendation).
> >


From nobody Sat Oct 31 15:45:12 2015
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Dear Carlos,

Thank you for the comments! We'll revise the draft accordingly.

Best regards,
Jiang

2015-10-22 22:00 GMT+03:00 Carlos Pignataro (cpignata) <cpignata@cisco.com>=
:

> Hi,
>
> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
> draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written primarily fo=
r
> the benefit of the Internet Area Directors. Document editors and
> shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like they would treat commen=
ts
> from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along with any other La=
st
> Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT
> Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html.
>
> This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and
> targets the Standards Track.
>
> I have a number of comments and concerns with this document, which amount
> to requesting the ADs to take a closer look:
>
> 3.  Terminology
>
>    This document uses terminology from the softwire problem statement
>    RFC 4925 [RFC4925] and the softwire mesh framework RFC 5565
>    [RFC5565].
>
> CMP: I think terminology from RFC 5512 is also heavily used.
>
> 5.1.  The swmSupportedTunnelTable Subtree
>
>    According
>    to section 4 of RFC 5512 [RFC5512], current softwire mesh tunnel
>    types include IP-IP, GRE and L2TPv3.
>
> CMP: This is true, but at the same time there are now many other =E2=80=
=9Ccurrent
> tunnel types=E2=80=9D (which are actually BGP Tunnel Encapsulation Attrib=
ute Tunnel
> Types). See
> http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtml#tunne=
l-types Specifically
> the ones introduced by RFC5566 ought to be included.
>
> CMP: This comment also applies to swmSupportedTunnelType
>
> XX. Missing sub-TLVs
>
> CMP: If the Tunnel Type is one which requires encapsulation information
> (e.g., L2TPv3 Session ID, Cookie, GRE Key, etc.), how is that information
> managed? I cannot seem to find it in the MIB Module. See Section 4.1 of R=
FC
> 5512.
>
> CMP: Similarly, what about Protocol Type and Color (S4.2 and 4.3 of RFC
> 5512), and IPsec Tunnel Authenticator (RFC 5566)?
>
> CMP: Similarly, what about the Load-Balancing Block values from RFC 5640?
> Without this, an ECMP-aware L2TPv3 tunnel will be misunderstood.
>
> 8.  Security Considerations
>
>    The swmMIB module can be used for configuration of certain objects,
>
> CMP: How is this so, without read-write or read-create?
>
> 11.  References
>
> 11.1.  Normative References
>
> CMP: Curiously, I do not see RFC 5566 or RFC 5640 referenced.
>
> Hope these help!
>
> Thanks,
>
> =E2=80=94 Carlos.
>
>

--001a11355ea0f1aebd0522e99a58
Content-Type: text/html; charset=UTF-8
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

<div dir=3D"ltr">Dear Carlos,<div><br></div><div>Thank you for the comments=
! We&#39;ll revise the draft accordingly.</div><div><br></div><div>Best reg=
ards,</div><div>Jiang=C2=A0</div></div><div class=3D"gmail_extra"><br><div =
class=3D"gmail_quote">2015-10-22 22:00 GMT+03:00 Carlos Pignataro (cpignata=
) <span dir=3D"ltr">&lt;<a href=3D"mailto:cpignata@cisco.com" target=3D"_bl=
ank">cpignata@cisco.com</a>&gt;</span>:<br><blockquote class=3D"gmail_quote=
" style=3D"margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><=
div style=3D"word-wrap:break-word"><div><div>Hi,<div><br></div><div>I am an=
 assigned INT directorate reviewer for draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11.=C2=
=A0These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet=C2=
=A0Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these=C2=
=A0comments just like they would treat comments from any other IETF=C2=A0co=
ntributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call comments=C2=A0th=
at have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate,=C2=A0see=C2=
=A0<a href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html" target=3D"=
_blank">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html</a>.</div><div><b=
r></div></div></div><div>This document defines MIB objects to manage softwi=
re mesh solutions, and targets the Standards Track.</div><div><br></div><di=
v>I have a number of comments and concerns with this document, which amount=
 to requesting the ADs to take a closer look:</div><div><br></div><div>3.=
=C2=A0 Terminology<br><br><div>=C2=A0 =C2=A0This document uses terminology =
from the softwire problem statement</div><div>=C2=A0 =C2=A0RFC 4925=C2=A0[R=
FC4925] and the softwire mesh framework=C2=A0RFC 5565</div></div><div>=C2=
=A0=C2=A0 [RFC5565].</div><div><br></div><div>CMP: I think terminology from=
 RFC 5512 is also heavily used.</div><div><br></div><div>5.1.=C2=A0 The swm=
SupportedTunnelTable Subtree<br><div><br></div><div>=C2=A0 =C2=A0According<=
/div><div>=C2=A0 =C2=A0to section 4 of RFC 5512=C2=A0[RFC5512], current sof=
twire mesh tunnel</div><div>=C2=A0 =C2=A0types include IP-IP, GRE and L2TPv=
3.</div></div><div><br></div><div>CMP: This is true, but at the same time t=
here are now many other =E2=80=9Ccurrent tunnel types=E2=80=9D (which are a=
ctually BGP Tunnel Encapsulation Attribute Tunnel Types). See=C2=A0<a href=
=3D"http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters/bgp-parameters.xhtml#tun=
nel-types" target=3D"_blank">http://www.iana.org/assignments/bgp-parameters=
/bgp-parameters.xhtml#tunnel-types</a>=C2=A0Specifically the ones introduce=
d by RFC5566 ought to be included.</div><div><br></div><div>CMP: This comme=
nt also applies to swmSupportedTunnelType</div><div><br></div><div>XX. Miss=
ing sub-TLVs</div><div><br></div><div>CMP: If the Tunnel Type is one which =
requires encapsulation information (e.g., L2TPv3 Session ID, Cookie, GRE Ke=
y, etc.), how is that information managed? I cannot seem to find it in the =
MIB Module. See Section 4.1 of RFC 5512.</div><div><br></div><div>CMP: Simi=
larly, what about Protocol Type and Color (S4.2 and 4.3 of RFC 5512), and=
=C2=A0IPsec Tunnel Authenticator (RFC 5566)?</div><div><br></div><div>CMP: =
Similarly, what about the Load-Balancing Block values from RFC 5640? Withou=
t this, an ECMP-aware L2TPv3 tunnel will be misunderstood.</div><div><br></=
div><div>8.=C2=A0 Security Considerations<br><br><div>=C2=A0 =C2=A0The swmM=
IB module can be used for configuration of certain objects,</div></div><div=
><br></div><div>CMP: How is this so, without read-write or read-create?</di=
v><div><br></div><div>11.=C2=A0 References<br><br>11.1.=C2=A0 Normative Ref=
erences</div><div><br></div><div>CMP: Curiously, I do not see RFC 5566 or R=
FC 5640 referenced.</div><div><br></div><div>Hope these help!</div><div><br=
></div><div>Thanks,</div><div><br></div><div>=E2=80=94 Carlos.</div><div><b=
r></div></div></blockquote></div><br></div>

--001a11355ea0f1aebd0522e99a58--


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Subject: Re: [Int-dir] Int-Dir - Review of draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11
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--001a11355ea0a0898a0522fccb97
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Dear Deng Hui,

Thank you for the comments! We'll revise the draft accordingly.

Best regards,
Jiang

2015-10-25 9:55 GMT+02:00 Hui Deng <denghui02@gmail.com>:

> Hi
>
> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
> draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written primarily fo=
r
> the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.
>
> Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments just like
> they would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and resolve th=
em
> along with any other
>
> Last Call comments that have been received. For more details on the INT
> Directorate, see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html.
>
> This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solutions, and
> targets the Standards Track.
>
> Please find below review comments:
>
> 1) Page 5 in section 6.2, =E2=80=9CThe tunnelIfRemoteInetAddress MUST be =
set to
> 0.0.0.0 for IPv4 or :: for IPv6 because it is a point to multi-point
> tunnel.=E2=80=9D
> It needs quotation mark for 0.0.0.0 and ::
>
> 2) In the MIB definitions, it needs REFERENCE for the IMPORT objects. eg:
> swmEncapsEIPDst OBJECT-TYPE
> SYNTAX InetAddress
> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible
> STATUS current
> DESCRIPTION
> "The E-IP destination prefix, which is
> used for I-IP encapsulation destination looking up."
> ::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 2 }
>
> It should add a REFERENCE =E2=80=9CE-IP and I-IP in RFC 5565 =E2=80=9D. T=
he same comment
> for the definition of swmEncapsIIPDst.
>
> 3) In page 8,
> swmEncapsEIPDstType OBJECT-TYPE
> SYNTAX InetAddressType
> MAX-ACCESS not-accessible
> STATUS current
> DESCRIPTION
> "This object specifies the address type used for
> swmEncapsEIPDst. It is different from the tunnelIfAddressType
> in the tunnelIfTable."
> ::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 1 }
>
> It should list ipv4(1) and ipv6(2) in the DESCRIPTION for different
> scenario. Also it should add a REFERENCE to RFC 4001.
>
> 4) In page 8, SwmEncapsEntry: I think swmEncapsEIPDstType and
> swmEncapsIIPDstType should just be swmEncapsIPDstType and apply to both. =
If
> all address objects in
>
> the row are of the same type, you only need one type object.
>
> 5) In page 7, =E2=80=9CRepresents the tunnel type that the AFBR supports=
=E2=80=9D in
> definition of swmSupportedTunnelType. It need a clarification that It
> represents the tunnel
>
> type used for softwire mesh scenario.
>
> 6) As it states in the section 6.1, the ifInucastPkts counts the number
> of IPv6 packets which are sent to the virtual interface for decapsulation
> into IPv4. I
>
> think it need some statistics objects to define for the softwire mesh suc=
h
> as the number of the connection tunnel when running point to multi-point
> tunnel.
>
> 7) Why not define a parameter for swmEncapsIIPDstPrefixLength?
>
> 8) In the swmEncapsGroup, there are only information about
> swmEncapsIIPDst and swmEncapsIIPDstType, why there are not swmEncapsEIPDs=
t
> and swmEncapsIIPType and so on?
>
> Best regards,
>
> DENG Hui
>

--001a11355ea0a0898a0522fccb97
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<div dir=3D"ltr">Dear Deng Hui,<div><br></div><div><div style=3D"font-size:=
14px">Thank you for the comments! We&#39;ll revise the draft accordingly.</=
div><div style=3D"font-size:14px"><br></div><div style=3D"font-size:14px">B=
est regards,</div><div style=3D"font-size:14px">Jiang=C2=A0</div></div><div=
 class=3D"gmail_extra"><br><div class=3D"gmail_quote">2015-10-25 9:55 GMT+0=
2:00 Hui Deng <span dir=3D"ltr">&lt;<a href=3D"mailto:denghui02@gmail.com" =
target=3D"_blank">denghui02@gmail.com</a>&gt;</span>:<br><blockquote class=
=3D"gmail_quote" style=3D"margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left-width:1px;bo=
rder-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-style:solid;padding-left:1ex">=
<div dir=3D"ltr">Hi<div><br></div><div><div>I am an assigned INT directorat=
e reviewer for draft-ietf-softwire-mesh-mib-11. These comments were written=
 primarily for the benefit of the Internet Area Directors.=C2=A0</div><div>=
<br></div><div>Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these comments=
 just like they would treat comments from any other IETF contributors and r=
esolve them along with any other=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>Last Call c=
omments that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate, s=
ee <a href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html" target=3D"=
_blank">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/intarea.html</a>.</div><div><b=
r></div><div>This document defines MIB objects to manage softwire mesh solu=
tions, and targets the Standards Track.</div><div><br></div><div>Please fin=
d below review comments:</div><div><br></div><div>1)<span style=3D"white-sp=
ace:pre-wrap">	</span>Page 5 in section 6.2, =E2=80=9CThe tunnelIfRemoteIne=
tAddress MUST be set to 0.0.0.0 for IPv4 or :: for IPv6 because it is a poi=
nt to multi-point tunnel.=E2=80=9D=C2=A0</div><div>It needs quotation mark =
for 0.0.0.0 and ::</div><div><br></div><div>2)<span style=3D"white-space:pr=
e-wrap">	</span>In the MIB definitions, it needs REFERENCE for the IMPORT o=
bjects. eg:</div><div>swmEncapsEIPDst OBJECT-TYPE</div><div>SYNTAX InetAddr=
ess</div><div>MAX-ACCESS not-accessible</div><div>STATUS current</div><div>=
DESCRIPTION</div><div>&quot;The E-IP destination prefix, which is</div><div=
>used for I-IP encapsulation destination looking up.&quot;</div><div>::=3D =
{ swmEncapsEntry 2 }</div><div><br></div><div>It should add a REFERENCE =E2=
=80=9CE-IP and I-IP in RFC 5565 =E2=80=9D. The same comment for the definit=
ion of swmEncapsIIPDst.</div><div><br></div><div>3)<span style=3D"white-spa=
ce:pre-wrap">	</span>In page 8,=C2=A0</div><div>swmEncapsEIPDstType OBJECT-=
TYPE</div><div>SYNTAX InetAddressType</div><div>MAX-ACCESS not-accessible</=
div><div>STATUS current</div><div>DESCRIPTION</div><div>&quot;This object s=
pecifies the address type used for</div><div>swmEncapsEIPDst. It is differe=
nt from the tunnelIfAddressType</div><div>in the tunnelIfTable.&quot;</div>=
<div>::=3D { swmEncapsEntry 1 }</div><div><br></div><div>It should list ipv=
4(1) and ipv6(2) in the DESCRIPTION for different scenario. Also it should =
add a REFERENCE to RFC 4001.</div><div><br></div><div>4)<span style=3D"whit=
e-space:pre-wrap">	</span>In page 8, SwmEncapsEntry: I think swmEncapsEIPDs=
tType and swmEncapsIIPDstType should just be swmEncapsIPDstType and apply t=
o both. If all address objects in=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>the row ar=
e of the same type, you only need one type object.</div><div><br></div><div=
>5)<span style=3D"white-space:pre-wrap">	</span>In page 7, =E2=80=9CReprese=
nts the tunnel type that the AFBR supports=E2=80=9D in definition of swmSup=
portedTunnelType. It need a clarification that It represents the tunnel=C2=
=A0</div><div><br></div><div>type used for softwire mesh scenario.</div><di=
v><br></div><div>6)<span style=3D"white-space:pre-wrap">	</span>As it state=
s in the section 6.1, the ifInucastPkts counts the number of IPv6 packets w=
hich are sent to the virtual interface for decapsulation into IPv4. I=C2=A0=
</div><div><br></div><div>think it need some statistics objects to define f=
or the softwire mesh such as the number of the connection tunnel when runni=
ng point to multi-point tunnel.</div><div><br></div><div>7)<span style=3D"w=
hite-space:pre-wrap">	</span>Why not define a parameter for swmEncapsIIPDst=
PrefixLength?=C2=A0</div><div><br></div><div>8)<span style=3D"white-space:p=
re-wrap">	</span>In the swmEncapsGroup, there are only information about sw=
mEncapsIIPDst and swmEncapsIIPDstType, why there are not swmEncapsEIPDst an=
d swmEncapsIIPType and so on?=C2=A0</div><div><br></div></div><div>Best reg=
ards,</div><div><br></div><div>DENG Hui</div></div>
</blockquote></div><br></div></div>

--001a11355ea0a0898a0522fccb97--


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Pascal,

On 10/31/15 6:00 AM, Pascal Thubert (pthubert) wrote:
> All good points, Ralph.
>=20
> I agree with the need to improve the abstract.
>=20
> The main structure of a 6TiSCH network with RPl and all is in the
> architecture draft but that doc is now delayed.

Saying the architecture draft is delayed appears to make it sound like
it is stuck. It is only delayed because the WG is not actively trying to
address all the comments that were raised during review.

Brian

>=20
> 6LoWPAN ND does not really have options so there was no need to spend
> text on it. We could mention it though, since the architecture cannot
> be referenced.
>=20
> Cheers,
>=20
> Pascal
>=20
>=20
>> -----Original Message----- From: Ralph Droms
>> [mailto:rdroms.ietf@gmail.com] Sent: samedi 31 octobre 2015 13:25=20
>> To: Pascal Thubert (pthubert) <pthubert@cisco.com> Cc:
>> <int-dir@ietf.org> <int-dir@ietf.org>; draft-ietf-6tisch-=20
>> minimal.all@ietf.org Subject: Re: INT-DIR review of
>> draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
>>=20
>>=20
>>> On Oct 31, 2015, at 12:45 PM 10/31/15, Pascal Thubert (pthubert)
>> <pthubert@cisco.com> wrote:
>>>=20
>>> Hello Ralph
>>>=20
>>> Regarding specifically your item 2, about RPL.
>>>=20
>>> This  may be related to your item 1 (clarity of the goal) but
>>> your comment
>> indicates that you missed the point of this draft.
>>>=20
>>> The point is to document a collection of protocols and settings
>>> that will
>> enable to build a 6TiSCH mesh network and lead to interoperable=20
>> implementations.
>>=20
>> OK, but the first sentence of the abstract is:
>>=20
>> This document describes the minimal set of rules to operate an
>> IEEE 802.15.4 Timeslotted Channel Hopping (TSCH) network.
>>=20
>> The *only* occurrence of the string "6tisch" (case insensitive) in
>> the text of this document (not in citations, etc.) is in the
>> Acknowledgments section:
>>=20
>> Also our acknowledge to the 6TiSCH Chairs Pascal Thubert and Thomas
>> Watteyne for their guideance and advice.
>>=20
>> How in the world would anyone know this document is intended to
>> cover the entire stack as required by a "6TiSCH mesh network".
>>=20
>>> 6TiSCH defined that this minimal collection would include a TSCH
>>> MAC,
>> IPv6, 6LoWPAN and RPL. This makes full sense to me and in any
>> fashion is the group decision.
>>=20
>> I didn't say it wasn't a group decision ... I disagree with the
>> group decision, as I understood the purpose of this document from
>> the Abstract.
>>=20
>> If this document is really supposed to describe the minimal
>> requirements for the whole stack in a "6TiSCH mesh network",
>> doesn't it need text describing address assignment, which flavor
>> and how to use ND, etc., etc.
>>=20
>> - Ralph
>>=20
>>>=20
>>> Cheers,
>>>=20
>>> Pascal
>>>=20
>>>> -----Original Message----- From: Ralph Droms
>>>> [mailto:rdroms.ietf@gmail.com] Sent: samedi 31 octobre 2015
>>>> 08:49 To: <int-dir@ietf.org> <int-dir@ietf.org>;
>>>> draft-ietf-6tisch- minimal.all@ietf.org Subject: Re: INT-DIR
>>>> review of draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-12
>>>>=20
>>>> I just noticed I didn't complete the text for comment 10.  Here
>>>> is the revised review.
>>>>=20
>>>> I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for
>>>> draft-ietf-6tisch-minimal-
>> 12.
>>>> These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the
>>>> Internet Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s)
>>>> should treat these comments just like they would treat comments
>>>> from any other IETF contributors and resolve them along
>> with
>>>> any other Last Call comments that have been received. For more=20
>>>> details on the INT Directorate, see
>> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html.
>>>>=20
>>>> Review submitted by Ralph Droms
>>>>=20
>>>> Summary: In my opinion, the WG needs to reconsider some of the=20
>>>> fundamental aspects of this proposed specification, and the
>>>> document needs significant restructuring and editing.  I will
>>>> be happy to work with the WG to revise the document and review
>>>> future revisions.
>>>>=20
>>>> There may be overlaps between my comments and those in other
>> reviews
>>>> because I avoided reading those reviews before writing up my
>>>> review.
>>>>=20
>>>> Here are my comments on the document.  The first four comments
>> apply
>>>> to the document as a whole, while the remainder address more
>>>> specific issues, roughly in the order of appearance in the
>>>> document.
>>>>=20
>>>> 1. Goals and requirements are unclear
>>>>=20
>>>> The requirements for this document are unclear to me.  Exactly
>>>> what services would a "minimal mode of operation" provide?  The
>>>> Abstract and most of the document talks about the operation of
>>>> an IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH network, yet the title of the document is
>>>> "Minimal
>> 6TiSCH Configuration".
>>>> Does a network that follows these rules provide an L2 IEEE
>>>> 802.15.4 service, an IPv6 6TiSCH service, ???
>>>>=20
>>>> Related to this question, does this document describe "a
>>>> minimal set of rules to operate an IEEE802.15.4 ...] TSCH
>>>> network" or a "minimal mode of operation" (both text snippets
>>>> from the Abstract).
>>>>=20
>>>> 2. Requirement for RPL is ill-advised
>>>>=20
>>>> This document seems to be focused on IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH
>>>> operational parameters.  Yet, it calls for the use of RPL,
>>>> which seems to me to be a highly undesirable entangling of
>>>> protocols at different layers of the protocol stack.  IEEE
>>>> 802.15.4 TSCH is expected to be used in networks that don't use
>>>> RPL.
>>>>=20
>>>> My understanding of the document is that RPL is assumed to be
>>>> in use because it is required in a 6TiSCH network.  RPL is then
>>>> used to generate the Join Priority through the DAGRank function
>>>> as specified in section 7.2.  The use of RPL implies to me the
>>>> configuration and operation of a full IPv6 stack, which hardly
>>>> seems like a minimal mode of operation for IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH.
>>>>=20
>>>> I have a question about this text from section 7.2:
>>>>=20
>>>> When a node joins the network, it MUST NOT send EBs before
>>>> having acquired a RPL rank.  This avoids routing loops and
>>>> matches RPL topology with underlying mesh
>> topology.
>>>>=20
>>>> What is meant by "avoiding routing loops"?  My understanding is
>>>> that IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH simply provides for frame delivery
>>>> between neighbors and does not provide frame forwarding.  How
>>>> would routing loops arise from running IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH?
>>>>=20
>>>> Has the WG considered reorganizing the 6TiSCH protocol suite
>>>> and documents to separate the minimal operation of IEEE
>>>> 802.15.4 TSCH from IPv6/RPL/ND/etc?  For example, has the WG
>>>> considered allowing a simpler, initial Join Priority scheme
>>>> that would provide minimal IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH operation until
>>>> the full IPv6 suite is running, at which time RPL will provide
>>>> optimal routing.
>>>>=20
>>>> 3. Restatement of specifications in IEEE 802.15.4 documents
>>>>=20
>>>> I haven't read the most recent IEEE 802.15.4 docs and it has
>>>> been a while since I took a close look at earlier revs.  With
>>>> that disclaimer in mind, how much of the text in sections 3
>>>> through 9 is a restatement of the IEEE 802.15.4 specification
>>>> and how much is the specification of operational parameters for
>>>> minimal operation of a IEEE 802.15.4 TSCH
>> network?
>>>> Restatement of specifications can be confusing and lead to a
>>>> lack of interoperability.  As a small example, here is section
>>>> 6:
>>>>=20
>>>> 6.  Acknowledgment
>>>>=20
>>>> Link-layer acknowledgment frames are built according to
>> [IEEE802154].
>>>> Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST
>> request
>>>> an acknowledgment.  The sender node MUST set the ACK requested=20
>>>> bit in the MAC header.  The acknowledgment frame is of type ACK
>>>> (frame
>> type
>>>> value 0b010).  Each acknowledgment contains the following IE:
>>>>=20
>>>> ACK/NACK Time Correction IE: The ACK/NACK time correction IE=20
>>>> carries the measured de-synchronization between the sender and
>> the
>>>> receiver.  Refer to Section 11.3 for an example of the Header
>>>> IE content.  The possible values for the Time Synchronization=20
>>>> Information and ACK status are described in [IEEE802154].
>>>>=20
>>>> Out of that section, it seems to me that the first sentence is=20
>>>> harmless, the second sentence is a specification for this
>>>> document, the third and fourth sentences are a restatement of
>>>> [IEEE802154] and the fifth sentence is an inferred
>>>> specification for this document. The description of the IE is a
>>>> restatement of [IEEE802154].
>>>>=20
>>>> Section 6 could be rewritten as:
>>>>=20
>>>> 6. Acknowledgement frames
>>>>=20
>>>> Unicast frames sent to a unicast MAC destination address MUST
>> request
>>>> an acknowledgment.  Each acknowledgment MUST contain an
>> ACK/NACK
>>>> Time Correction IE.
>>>>=20
>>>> 4. Default behavior versus learned behavior
>>>>=20
>>>> Which of the configuration and operational specifications in
>>>> this document must be pre-configured before a node joins the
>>>> network, and which are learned through, e.g., EBs.  Are
>>>> operational control and management questions out of scope for
>>>> this document, such as:
>>>>=20
>>>> - when does a node switch from the "minimal 6TiSCH
>>>> configuration" to some other configuration? - does a node use
>>>> the configuration parameters it has received through EBs to
>>>> generate its own EBs or does it use the "minimal 6TiSCH
>>>> configuration" parameters?
>>>>=20
>>>> 5. In this text from the Introduction, does "synchronizes with
>>>> the
>> network"
>>>> mean time synchronization or something else:
>>>>=20
>>>> [...] when a node synchronizes to the network.
>>>>=20
>>>> 6. I don't think the last sentence of the Introduction is
>>>> relevant to an Introduction.
>>>>=20
>>>> 7. The document could use a section on the terminology used in
>>>> the document, to provide definitive sources for definitions of
>>>> the various terms and acronyms used in the document.  Most
>>>> likely, the terminology section would simply point to relevant
>>>> sections of [IEEE802154] and [I-D.ietf-6tisch- terminology].
>>>>=20
>>>> 8. Section 11 should be an Appendix, rather than part of the
>>>> body of the document, so as to avoid making those examples
>>>> normative
>> standards text.
>>>>=20
>>>> 9. I think the contents of section 7.1 are entirely dependent
>>>> on the specifics of an implementation and the section should be
>>>> omitted.
>>>>=20
>>>> 10. I think the information in section 8 would be more
>>>> generally useful if not stated in terms of a queue-based
>>>> implementation:
>>>>=20
>>>> A node must not transmit frames containing higher-layer
>>>> packets until the node has successfully joined a network.
>>>>=20
>>>> Frames generated by the IEEE 802.15.4 layer are transmitted
>>>> before frames containing higher-layer packets.
>>>>=20
>>>> Frame types BEACON and COMMAND are transmitted before frame
>> types
>>>> DATA and ACK.
>>>>=20
>>>> A node has to be prepared to send a BEACON or COMMAND frame at
>> any
>>>> time.
>>>>=20
>>>> I've tried to infer the desired behavior from the description
>>>> of queue
>> usage.
>>>> If I understand the original text correctly, there is no
>>>> difference between the second and third requirements.
>>>>=20
>>>> 11. According to [I-D.ietf-6tisch-terminology], the correct
>>>> term is "timeslot", so s/time slot/timeslot/ throughout the
>>>> document.
>>>>=20
>>>> 12. In the table at the top of page 4 (BTW, please number and
>>>> add a title to all tables), are the listed properties the only
>>>> properties that have numeric or short text string values?  If
>>>> not, all of those properties should be gathered together into a
>>>> single table.  As an editorial aside, this table is pretty much
>>>> what I expected to be the bulk
>> of this document.
>>>>=20
>>>> 13. Even if the number of timeslots in a slotframe is variable
>>>> for this minimal configuration, should there be a default?
>>>>=20
>>>> 14. In the table at the top of page 5, what do the empty boxes
>> represent?
>>>>=20
>>>> 15. The last sentence of section 3.2 seems to be a low-level=20
>>>> implementation detail that can be omitted.
>>>>=20
>>>> 16. Without having read the IEEE 802.15.4 docs recently to
>>>> confirm, I'll suggest that almost all of section 3.4 is a
>>>> restatement of the IEEE 802.15.4 spec.  The last sentence is
>>>> important, and isn't entirely clear.  It would be clearer to
>>>> write:
>>>>=20
>>>> For the minimal configuration specified in this document, the
>>>> use of CCA is OPTIONAL.
>>>>=20
>>>> 17. End of section 3 - not clear when to use
>>>> macTimeslotTemplate.
>>>>=20
>>>> 18. The third paragraph of section 4 is completely unclear to
>>>> me:
>>>>=20
>>>> A Node aiming to join the network by receving a properly
>>>> formed BEACON shall enter in a scan phase and shall store the
>>>> value of macPANId and then set it to 0xffff for the duration of
>>>> the scan in order to meet the filtering rules in [IEEE802154].
>>>>=20
>>>> What are "macPANId" and "scan phase"?  I don't see those terms
>>>> used anywhere else in this document; do the terms come from the
>>>> IEEE 802.15.4 specs?  Why would an implementation store the
>>>> value of macPANId and then set it to 0xffff?
>>>>=20
>>>> 19. Does "synchronization" in section 5 mean "time
>>>> synchronization"?
>>>>=20
>>>> 20. In section 5, is "EB_PERIOD" the same value as defined in
>>>> the table in section 10.2.4 that defines "RPL-related
>>>> variables"?  If so, I don't understand why "EB_PERIOD" is in
>>>> that table, as it only appears once in the rest of the document
>>>> in section 5.
>>>>=20
>>>> 21. I see that section 10 includes the statement:
>>>>=20
>>>> Nodes in a multihop network MUST use the RPL routing protocol=20
>>>> [RFC6550].
>>>>=20
>>>> This statement is certainly false if one takes a broad
>>>> definition of the word "multihop".  Even if edited to
>>>> "multilink subnet" or "mesh", I can't find any support in RFC
>>>> 6550 for the statement "MUST use RPL routing protocol".  I
>>>> think it would be much clearer and more correct to quote
>>>> verbatim the text describing this requirement from RFC 6550=20
>>>> rather than paraphrasing it here.
>>>>=20
>>>> Similarly, this sentence in section 10.1 needs, at least, to
>>>> be edited, and I think it should be replaced with quoted text
>>>> from RFC 6552.
>>>>=20
>>>> Nodes in the multihop network MUST implement the RPL Objective=20
>>>> Function Zero [RFC6552].
>>>>=20
>>>> While I haven't provided a detailed review of the remainder of=20
>>>> section 10 because I don't think it's necessary for the goals
>>>> of this document, it appears to me that much of section 10 is a
>>>> restatement of the RPL specification from RFC 6550 and should,
>>>> therefore, be omitted (if RPL is retained as a part of this
>>>> recommendation).
>>>=20


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