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From: Ross Callon <rcallon@juniper.net>
To: "rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org" <rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org>
Date: Sun, 2 Jan 2011 19:53:43 -0500
Thread-Topic: Review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
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Subject: [RTG-DIR] Review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
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Hello,
I have been asked to provide an additional Routing Directorate review for t=
his draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-r=
elated drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purp=
ose of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more inf=
ormation about the Routing Directorate, please see http://www.ietf.org/iesg=
/directorate/routing.html
Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it wo=
uld be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last Ca=
ll comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through discussion=
 or by updating the draft.
Document: draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09.txt
Reviewer: Ross Callon
Review Date: 2011-01-02
IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-14
Intended Status: proposed standard
Summary:
I have only very minor concerns about this document. While these are of a n=
ature that the RFC editor staff might be expected to identify and fix, you =
may nonetheless want to resolve these before publication.
Comments:
The document is well written and structured, and generally conforms to the =
conventional definition of IS-IS TLVs.
Major Issues:
No major issues found.
Minor Issues:

Section 2.2, The bullet item "Type: TLV Type, set to MT-PORT-CAP TLV 143 [T=
BD]."

My understanding is that the value 143 was incorrectly picked (and overlaps=
 with a different meaning of the same value). My understanding is also that=
 the "TBD" means that this was tentative. This will need to be corrected pr=
ior to publication, and you might want to add an RFC editor's note to this =
effect (or at least make sure that you check this during auth-48).


Section 6.2, informative references. The third reference. I believe that th=
is is to "draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-protocol-16.txt", which is in the RFC ed=
itor's queue waiting on a normative reference to this document. It would be=
 less confusing to include the draft name. My understanding is that the RFC=
 editor will then replace this with the RFC when both are published togethe=
r.



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<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">Hello,</div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">I have been asked to p=
rovide an additional Routing Directorate review for this draft. The Routing=
 Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related drafts as they =
pass through IETF last call and IESG
review. The purpose of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing A=
Ds. For more information about the Routing Directorate, please see <a href=
=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html"><u>http://www.ietf.o=
rg/iesg/directorate/routing.html</u></a></div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">Although these comment=
s are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it would be helpful if you =
could consider them along with any other IETF Last Call comments that you r=
eceive, and strive to resolve them
through discussion or by updating the draft.</div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">Document: draft-ietf-i=
sis-layer2-09.txt<br>

Reviewer: Ross Callon<br>

Review Date: 2011-01-02<br>

IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-14<br>

Intended Status: proposed standard</div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><b>Summary:</b></div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">I have only very minor=
 concerns about this document. While these are of a nature that the RFC edi=
tor staff might be expected to identify and fix, you may nonetheless want t=
o resolve these before publication.</div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><b>Comments: </b></div=
>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">The document is well w=
ritten and structured, and generally conforms to the conventional definitio=
n of IS-IS TLVs.</div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><b>Major Issues:</b></=
div>
<div style=3D"margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; ">No major issues found.=
</div>
<div><b>Minor Issues:</b></div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>Section 2.2, The bullet item &#8220;Type: TLV Type, set to MT-PORT-CAP=
 TLV 143 [TBD].&#8221;</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>My understanding is that the value 143 was incorrectly picked (and ove=
rlaps with a different meaning of the same value). My understanding is also=
 that the &#8220;TBD&#8221; means that this was tentative. This will need t=
o be corrected prior to publication, and you
might want to add an RFC editor&#8217;s note to this effect (or at least ma=
ke sure that you check this during auth-48). </div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
<div>Section 6.2, informative references. The third reference. I believe th=
at this is to &#8220;draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-protocol-16.txt&#8221;, which=
 is in the RFC editor&#8217;s queue waiting on a normative reference to thi=
s document. It would be less confusing to include
the draft name. My understanding is that the RFC editor will then replace t=
his with the RFC when both are published together.
<br>

</div>
<div>&nbsp;</div>
</font>
</body>
</html>

--_000_DF7F294AF4153D498141CBEFADB177049AC8B6E657EMBX01WFjnprn_--

From ayabaner@cisco.com  Mon Jan  3 11:09:25 2011
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Date: Mon, 03 Jan 2011 11:11:25 -0800
From: Ayan Banerjee <ayabaner@cisco.com>
To: Ross Callon <rcallon@juniper.net>, "rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org" <rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org>
Message-ID: <C9475F5D.8E765%ayabaner@cisco.com>
Thread-Topic: Review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] Review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09
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Ross,

Thanks much for the comments. Regarding the minor issues:

The MT-PORT-CAP-TLV with the suggested value is fine. The MAC-reachability
TLV was in conflict and version =AD09 of this draft moved it to a
non-conflicting value.

Yes, this is accurate, the suggested reference is to
=B3draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-protocol-16.txt=B2. I am hoping that we can fix thi=
s
up in the RFC editor queue.

Thanks,
Ayan




On 1/2/11 4:53 PM, "Ross Callon" <rcallon@juniper.net> wrote:

> Hello,
> I have been asked to provide an additional Routing Directorate review for=
 this
> draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-rel=
ated
> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose o=
f the
> review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more information =
about
> the Routing Directorate, please see
> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
> <http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html>
> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it =
would
> be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last Call
> comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through discussion =
or by
> updating the draft.
> Document: draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09.txt
> Reviewer: Ross Callon
> Review Date: 2011-01-02
> IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-14
> Intended Status: proposed standard
> Summary:
> I have only very minor concerns about this document. While these are of a
> nature that the RFC editor staff might be expected to identify and fix, y=
ou
> may nonetheless want to resolve these before publication.
> Comments:=20
> The document is well written and structured, and generally conforms to th=
e
> conventional definition of IS-IS TLVs.
> Major Issues:
> No major issues found.
> Minor Issues:
> =20
> Section 2.2, The bullet item =B3Type: TLV Type, set to MT-PORT-CAP TLV 143
> [TBD].=B2
> =20
> My understanding is that the value 143 was incorrectly picked (and overla=
ps
> with a different meaning of the same value). My understanding is also tha=
t the
> =B3TBD=B2 means that this was tentative. This will need to be corrected prior=
 to
> publication, and you might want to add an RFC editor=B9s note to this effec=
t (or
> at least make sure that you check this during auth-48).
> =20
> =20
> Section 6.2, informative references. The third reference. I believe that =
this
> is to =B3draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-protocol-16.txt=B2, which is in the RFC edi=
tor=B9s
> queue waiting on a normative reference to this document. It would be less
> confusing to include the draft name. My understanding is that the RFC edi=
tor
> will then replace this with the RFC when both are published together.
> =20
>=20


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<HTML>
<HEAD>
<TITLE>Re: Review of draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09</TITLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY>
<FONT FACE=3D"Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><SPAN STYLE=3D'font-size:11pt=
'>Ross,<BR>
<BR>
Thanks much for the comments. Regarding the minor issues:<BR>
<BR>
The MT-PORT-CAP-TLV with the suggested value is fine. The MAC-reachability =
TLV was in conflict and version &#8211;09 of this draft moved it to a non-co=
nflicting value. <BR>
<BR>
Yes, this is accurate, the suggested reference is to </SPAN></FONT><SPAN ST=
YLE=3D'font-size:11pt'><FONT FACE=3D"Times New Roman">&#8220;draft-ietf-trill-rb=
ridge-protocol-16.txt&#8221;. I am hoping that we can fix this up in the RFC=
 editor queue.<BR>
<BR>
Thanks,<BR>
Ayan<BR>
</FONT><FONT FACE=3D"Calibri, Verdana, Helvetica, Arial"><BR>
<BR>
<BR>
<BR>
On 1/2/11 4:53 PM, &quot;Ross Callon&quot; &lt;<a href=3D"rcallon@juniper.net=
">rcallon@juniper.net</a>&gt; wrote:<BR>
<BR>
</FONT></SPAN><BLOCKQUOTE><FONT SIZE=3D"4"><FONT FACE=3D"Times New Roman"><SPAN=
 STYLE=3D'font-size:14pt'>Hello,<BR>
</SPAN></FONT></FONT><FONT FACE=3D"Times New Roman"><SPAN STYLE=3D'font-size:11=
pt'>I have been asked to provide an additional Routing Directorate review fo=
r this draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing=
-related drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The pur=
pose of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more inf=
ormation about the Routing Directorate, please see <U><a href=3D"http://www.ie=
tf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/r=
outing.html</a></U> &lt;<a href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routin=
g.html">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html</a>&gt; <BR>
Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it wo=
uld be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last Cal=
l comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through discussion o=
r by updating the draft.<BR>
Document: draft-ietf-isis-layer2-09.txt<BR>
Reviewer: Ross Callon<BR>
Review Date: 2011-01-02<BR>
IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-14<BR>
Intended Status: proposed standard<BR>
<B>Summary:<BR>
</B>I have only very minor concerns about this document. While these are of=
 a nature that the RFC editor staff might be expected to identify and fix, y=
ou may nonetheless want to resolve these before publication.<BR>
<B>Comments: <BR>
</B>The document is well written and structured, and generally conforms to =
the conventional definition of IS-IS TLVs.<BR>
<B>Major Issues:<BR>
</B>No major issues found.<BR>
<B>Minor Issues:<BR>
</B> <BR>
Section 2.2, The bullet item &#8220;Type: TLV Type, set to MT-PORT-CAP TLV =
143 [TBD].&#8221;<BR>
&nbsp;<BR>
My understanding is that the value 143 was incorrectly picked (and overlaps=
 with a different meaning of the same value). My understanding is also that =
the &#8220;TBD&#8221; means that this was tentative. This will need to be co=
rrected prior to publication, and you might want to add an RFC editor&#8217;=
s note to this effect (or at least make sure that you check this during auth=
-48). <BR>
&nbsp;<BR>
&nbsp;<BR>
Section 6.2, informative references. The third reference. I believe that th=
is is to &#8220;draft-ietf-trill-rbridge-protocol-16.txt&#8221;, which is in=
 the RFC editor&#8217;s queue waiting on a normative reference to this docum=
ent. It would be less confusing to include the draft name. My understanding =
is that the RFC editor will then replace this with the RFC when both are pub=
lished together. <BR>
&nbsp;<BR>
</SPAN></FONT><SPAN STYLE=3D'font-size:11pt'><FONT FACE=3D"Calibri, Verdana, He=
lvetica, Arial"><BR>
</FONT></SPAN></BLOCKQUOTE>
</BODY>
</HTML>


--B_3376897885_288200--


From matthew.bocci@alcatel-lucent.com  Tue Jan  4 06:39:43 2011
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02
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Julien,

Thank you very much for your review.

Please see below for some responses.

Best regards,

Matthew


On 22/12/2010 16:03, "Julien Meuric" <julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
wrote:

>Hello,
>
>I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
>The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
>drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
>of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
>information about the Routing Directorate, please see
>http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>
>Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
>would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
>Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
>discussion or by updating the draft.
>
>Document: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02.txt
>Reviewer: Julien Meuric
>Review Date: 2010-12-22
>IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-23
>Intended Status: Informational
>
>*Summary:*
>I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be
>resolved before publication.
>
>*Comments:*
>This document focuses on a specific topic within a limited scope.
>Nevertheless, it is a patch to RFC 5921 and thus requires reading some
>parts of the latter (sections 3.4.2 and 3.4.3 mainly), which is
>detrimental to its readability if considered alone.
>
>*Major Issues:*
>No major issues found.
>
>*Minor Issues:*
>- It is not obvious why P nodes are not mentioned when tackling the NNI.
>It requires to look for an answer in RFC 5921, which lies in the last
>paragraph of section 3.4.2. It may be worth considering introducing that
>paragraph in this document (in section 1 for instance).


I propose adding the following text (mostly copied from RFC5921) as a
final paragraph in Section 1.1:

"Awareness of the Transport Service layer need exist only at PE nodes, and
so only these nodes are illustrate in the figures.
   MPLS-TP Provider (P) nodes need have no awareness of this layer.
   Both PE and P nodes participate in the Transport Path layer.  A PE
   terminates (i.e., is an LER with respect to) the transport paths it
   supports, and is responsible for multiplexing and demultiplexing of
   Transport Service Instance traffic over such transport paths."


>- Linked to the above, the exact scope of the document is defined a bit
>late: the fact that UNI and NNI are "Transport Service Interfaces" is
>not stated before section 1.1, while one would expect to be aware of
>this information from the abstract and introduction.

I propose to modify the first sentence of the abstract and Section 1 as
follows:
"The framework for MPLS in transport networks (RFC 5921) provides
reference models for an MPLS Transport Profile (MPLS-TP) transport service
interfaces, which are a User-to-Network Interface (UNI), and an MPLS-TP
Network-to-Network Interface (NNI)."


>- The phrase "Transport Service Instance" is only mentioned in section
>3: defining it in section 1.2 may improve the readability; "TSI" is only
>used in drawings: is it necessary to use the acronym, especially in this
>context where the phrase "Transport Service Interface" is also used?

TSI is expanded in the terminology section (1.2). It is not expanded in
the figures because of the constraints of ASCII art.


>- The term "attachment circuit" is mentioned in section 2, but it does
>not appear on figures, nor is defined in the I-D. Definition and/or
>illustration would be welcome.

This text was added as a result of a last call comment and is copied from
RFC5921. The term is a well known term that is used in RFC5921, as well as
being extensively used in PWE3 and L2VPN, so I a not sure it needs to be
defined again here.

>- The acronyms UNI-C and UNI-N are used for the first time in section
>1.1, without expansion/definition and before the terminology section.
>They should either be removed from there, or be expanded/defined at
>first use.

I will add an expansion on first use, which I believe should actually be
'User-to-Network Interface, Client side' and 'User-to-Network Interface,
Network side'.

>- The acronym UNI-N is defined in section 1.2 but not actually expanded,
>thus leading to wonder why "-N". I agree that "PE side" is more
>meaningful than "network", but adding expansion while keeping definition
>may be considered.

I will add the expansion in the terminology and correct the expansion for
UNI-C.

>- Figure 1: it looks like "Native service control" is defined as native
>service control and/or GMPLS, where I understand that GMPLS can be an
>option even if not native. Would not it be clearer to write "Service
>control" and keep current definition (native and/or GMPLS)?

I think we have to be careful not to confuse the control plane of the
client service for establishing and maintaining client connections across
the UNI with the control plane of the transport service, which is why we
use the term Native Service Control. So this may be either a control plane
belonging to the client service, or it may be GMPLS since this can be used
as an alternative in some instances. The term Native Service is in common
usage as per RFC3985, but I appreciate that the usage here is a little
unclear. How about: "Native service control =3D Control plane defined as
belonging to the native service, and/or GMPLS" ?

>
>*Nits:*
>Abstract
>s/subjet/subject/

OK

>-----
>Section 1.2
>s/PE Side/PE side/

OK

>-----
>Section 2 & 3
>- either:
>     s/User-Network/User-to-Network/ in section 2
>     + s/NNI is illustrated/Network-to-Network Interface (NNI) is
>illustrated/ in section 3
>- or: s/User-Network Interface (UNI)/UNI/ in section 2
>-----
>
>
>Regards and merry Christmas,
>
>Julien
>


From julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com  Fri Jan  7 01:36:54 2011
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Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2011 10:38:57 +0100
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02
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Hi Matthew (and happy new year everyone).

See my answers in line.

Cheers,

Julien


Le 04/01/2011 15:41, Bocci, Matthew (Matthew) a écrit :
> Julien,
>
> Thank you very much for your review.
>
> Please see below for some responses.
>
> Best regards,
>
> Matthew
>
>
> On 22/12/2010 16:03, "Julien Meuric"<julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
> wrote:
>
>> Hello,
>>
>> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
>> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
>> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
>> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
>> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
>> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>>
>> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
>> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
>> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
>> discussion or by updating the draft.
>>
>> Document: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02.txt
>> Reviewer: Julien Meuric
>> Review Date: 2010-12-22
>> IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-23
>> Intended Status: Informational
>>
>> *Summary:*
>> I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be
>> resolved before publication.
>>
>> *Comments:*
>> This document focuses on a specific topic within a limited scope.
>> Nevertheless, it is a patch to RFC 5921 and thus requires reading some
>> parts of the latter (sections 3.4.2 and 3.4.3 mainly), which is
>> detrimental to its readability if considered alone.
>>
>> *Major Issues:*
>> No major issues found.
>>
>> *Minor Issues:*
>> - It is not obvious why P nodes are not mentioned when tackling the NNI.
>> It requires to look for an answer in RFC 5921, which lies in the last
>> paragraph of section 3.4.2. It may be worth considering introducing that
>> paragraph in this document (in section 1 for instance).
> I propose adding the following text (mostly copied from RFC5921) as a
> final paragraph in Section 1.1:
>
> "Awareness of the Transport Service layer need exist only at PE nodes, and
> so only these nodes are illustrate in the figures.
>     MPLS-TP Provider (P) nodes need have no awareness of this layer.
>     Both PE and P nodes participate in the Transport Path layer.  A PE
>     terminates (i.e., is an LER with respect to) the transport paths it
>     supports, and is responsible for multiplexing and demultiplexing of
>     Transport Service Instance traffic over such transport paths."
>
[JM] OK

>> - Linked to the above, the exact scope of the document is defined a bit
>> late: the fact that UNI and NNI are "Transport Service Interfaces" is
>> not stated before section 1.1, while one would expect to be aware of
>> this information from the abstract and introduction.
> I propose to modify the first sentence of the abstract and Section 1 as
> follows:
> "The framework for MPLS in transport networks (RFC 5921) provides
> reference models for an MPLS Transport Profile (MPLS-TP) transport service
> interfaces, which are a User-to-Network Interface (UNI), and an MPLS-TP
> Network-to-Network Interface (NNI)."
>
[JM] OK

>> - The phrase "Transport Service Instance" is only mentioned in section
>> 3: defining it in section 1.2 may improve the readability; "TSI" is only
>> used in drawings: is it necessary to use the acronym, especially in this
>> context where the phrase "Transport Service Interface" is also used?
> TSI is expanded in the terminology section (1.2). It is not expanded in
> the figures because of the constraints of ASCII art.
>
[JM] It is expanded but not actually defined/explained; adding a sentence in the terminology section would be helpful.

>> - The term "attachment circuit" is mentioned in section 2, but it does
>> not appear on figures, nor is defined in the I-D. Definition and/or
>> illustration would be welcome.
> This text was added as a result of a last call comment and is copied from
> RFC5921. The term is a well known term that is used in RFC5921, as well as
> being extensively used in PWE3 and L2VPN, so I a not sure it needs to be
> defined again here.
>
[JM] That is a typical example of the main shortcoming of this document. Anyway, it is up to you.

>> - The acronyms UNI-C and UNI-N are used for the first time in section
>> 1.1, without expansion/definition and before the terminology section.
>> They should either be removed from there, or be expanded/defined at
>> first use.
> I will add an expansion on first use, which I believe should actually be
> 'User-to-Network Interface, Client side' and 'User-to-Network Interface,
> Network side'.
>
[JM] OK

>> - The acronym UNI-N is defined in section 1.2 but not actually expanded,
>> thus leading to wonder why "-N". I agree that "PE side" is more
>> meaningful than "network", but adding expansion while keeping definition
>> may be considered.
> I will add the expansion in the terminology and correct the expansion for
> UNI-C.
>
[JM] OK

>> - Figure 1: it looks like "Native service control" is defined as native
>> service control and/or GMPLS, where I understand that GMPLS can be an
>> option even if not native. Would not it be clearer to write "Service
>> control" and keep current definition (native and/or GMPLS)?
> I think we have to be careful not to confuse the control plane of the
> client service for establishing and maintaining client connections across
> the UNI with the control plane of the transport service, which is why we
> use the term Native Service Control. So this may be either a control plane
> belonging to the client service, or it may be GMPLS since this can be used
> as an alternative in some instances. The term Native Service is in common
> usage as per RFC3985, but I appreciate that the usage here is a little
> unclear. How about: "Native service control = Control plane defined as
> belonging to the native service, and/or GMPLS" ?
>
[JM] Not sure about that one. I completely agree with the intent, my concern is about the "patch-like" wording because it feels like writing "x = x + y" [while y (GMPLS) is not zero]... "x + y" should remain, but I would feel more comfortable with a more generic phrase [than RFC 3985] for the "left x": if "service control" is excluded, how about something like "service layer control"?

>> *Nits:*
>> Abstract
>> s/subjet/subject/
> OK
>
>> -----
>> Section 1.2
>> s/PE Side/PE side/
> OK
>
>> -----
>> Section 2&  3
>> - either:
>>      s/User-Network/User-to-Network/ in section 2
>>      + s/NNI is illustrated/Network-to-Network Interface (NNI) is
>> illustrated/ in section 3
>> - or: s/User-Network Interface (UNI)/UNI/ in section 2
>> -----
>>
>>
>> Regards and merry Christmas,
>>
>> Julien
>>

From matthew.bocci@alcatel-lucent.com  Fri Jan  7 04:31:49 2011
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From: "Bocci, Matthew (Matthew)" <matthew.bocci@alcatel-lucent.com>
To: Julien Meuric <julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2011 13:33:47 +0100
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02
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Hi Julien,

Happy New Year. Please see below.

Thanks.
Matthew

On 07/01/2011 09:38, "Julien Meuric" <julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
wrote:

>Hi Matthew (and happy new year everyone).
>
>See my answers in line.
>
>Cheers,
>
>Julien
>
>
>Le 04/01/2011 15:41, Bocci, Matthew (Matthew) a =E9crit :
>> Julien,
>>
>> Thank you very much for your review.
>>
>> Please see below for some responses.
>>
>> Best regards,
>>
>> Matthew
>>
>>
>> On 22/12/2010 16:03, "Julien Meuric"<julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> Hello,
>>>
>>> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this
>>>draft.
>>> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
>>> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
>>> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
>>> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
>>> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>>>
>>> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs,
>>>it
>>> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
>>> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
>>> discussion or by updating the draft.
>>>
>>> Document: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02.txt
>>> Reviewer: Julien Meuric
>>> Review Date: 2010-12-22
>>> IETF LC End Date: 2010-12-23
>>> Intended Status: Informational
>>>
>>> *Summary:*
>>> I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be
>>> resolved before publication.
>>>
>>> *Comments:*
>>> This document focuses on a specific topic within a limited scope.
>>> Nevertheless, it is a patch to RFC 5921 and thus requires reading some
>>> parts of the latter (sections 3.4.2 and 3.4.3 mainly), which is
>>> detrimental to its readability if considered alone.
>>>
>>> *Major Issues:*
>>> No major issues found.
>>>
>>> *Minor Issues:*
>>> - It is not obvious why P nodes are not mentioned when tackling the
>>>NNI.
>>> It requires to look for an answer in RFC 5921, which lies in the last
>>> paragraph of section 3.4.2. It may be worth considering introducing
>>>that
>>> paragraph in this document (in section 1 for instance).
>> I propose adding the following text (mostly copied from RFC5921) as a
>> final paragraph in Section 1.1:
>>
>> "Awareness of the Transport Service layer need exist only at PE nodes,
>>and
>> so only these nodes are illustrate in the figures.
>>     MPLS-TP Provider (P) nodes need have no awareness of this layer.
>>     Both PE and P nodes participate in the Transport Path layer.  A PE
>>     terminates (i.e., is an LER with respect to) the transport paths it
>>     supports, and is responsible for multiplexing and demultiplexing of
>>     Transport Service Instance traffic over such transport paths."
>>
>[JM] OK
>
>>> - Linked to the above, the exact scope of the document is defined a bit
>>> late: the fact that UNI and NNI are "Transport Service Interfaces" is
>>> not stated before section 1.1, while one would expect to be aware of
>>> this information from the abstract and introduction.
>> I propose to modify the first sentence of the abstract and Section 1 as
>> follows:
>> "The framework for MPLS in transport networks (RFC 5921) provides
>> reference models for an MPLS Transport Profile (MPLS-TP) transport
>>service
>> interfaces, which are a User-to-Network Interface (UNI), and an MPLS-TP
>> Network-to-Network Interface (NNI)."
>>
>[JM] OK
>
>>> - The phrase "Transport Service Instance" is only mentioned in section
>>> 3: defining it in section 1.2 may improve the readability; "TSI" is
>>>only
>>> used in drawings: is it necessary to use the acronym, especially in
>>>this
>>> context where the phrase "Transport Service Interface" is also used?
>> TSI is expanded in the terminology section (1.2). It is not expanded in
>> the figures because of the constraints of ASCII art.
>>
>[JM] It is expanded but not actually defined/explained; adding a sentence
>in the terminology section would be helpful.

MB> It is defined in RFC5921, section 3.4.2. I propose to add the
following modified snippet from that paragraph to the terminology section:
"a single logical point-to-point connection at the Transport Service layer
between the ingress PE providing a packet transport service to a CE, and
the corresponding egress PE to which the peer CE is attached."
=20
>
>>> - The term "attachment circuit" is mentioned in section 2, but it does
>>> not appear on figures, nor is defined in the I-D. Definition and/or
>>> illustration would be welcome.
>> This text was added as a result of a last call comment and is copied
>>from
>> RFC5921. The term is a well known term that is used in RFC5921, as well
>>as
>> being extensively used in PWE3 and L2VPN, so I a not sure it needs to be
>> defined again here.
>>
>[JM] That is a typical example of the main shortcoming of this document.
>Anyway, it is up to you.
>
>>> - The acronyms UNI-C and UNI-N are used for the first time in section
>>> 1.1, without expansion/definition and before the terminology section.
>>> They should either be removed from there, or be expanded/defined at
>>> first use.
>> I will add an expansion on first use, which I believe should actually be
>> 'User-to-Network Interface, Client side' and 'User-to-Network Interface,
>> Network side'.
>>
>[JM] OK
>
>>> - The acronym UNI-N is defined in section 1.2 but not actually
>>>expanded,
>>> thus leading to wonder why "-N". I agree that "PE side" is more
>>> meaningful than "network", but adding expansion while keeping
>>>definition
>>> may be considered.
>> I will add the expansion in the terminology and correct the expansion
>>for
>> UNI-C.
>>
>[JM] OK
>
>>> - Figure 1: it looks like "Native service control" is defined as native
>>> service control and/or GMPLS, where I understand that GMPLS can be an
>>> option even if not native. Would not it be clearer to write "Service
>>> control" and keep current definition (native and/or GMPLS)?
>> I think we have to be careful not to confuse the control plane of the
>> client service for establishing and maintaining client connections
>>across
>> the UNI with the control plane of the transport service, which is why we
>> use the term Native Service Control. So this may be either a control
>>plane
>> belonging to the client service, or it may be GMPLS since this can be
>>used
>> as an alternative in some instances. The term Native Service is in
>>common
>> usage as per RFC3985, but I appreciate that the usage here is a little
>> unclear. How about: "Native service control =3D Control plane defined as
>> belonging to the native service, and/or GMPLS" ?
>>
>[JM] Not sure about that one. I completely agree with the intent, my
>concern is about the "patch-like" wording because it feels like writing
>"x =3D x + y" [while y (GMPLS) is not zero]... "x + y" should remain, but =
I
>would feel more comfortable with a more generic phrase [than RFC 3985]
>for the "left x": if "service control" is excluded, how about something
>like "service layer control"?

MB> Service Layer Control could be confused with transport Service layer
control. Also, mentioning GMPLS was a specific request from the ITU-T here
and they have already reviewed the document as a part of the joint MPLS-TP
process, and this somewhat constrains us to only making changes that are
really necessary. So, how about we delete the note from the figure, change
the name in the figure to Client Service Control, and then add the
following sentence to the text below the figure:
"Note that the client service control plane may be a control protocol
belonging to the native service, or GMPLS."


>
>>> *Nits:*
>>> Abstract
>>> s/subjet/subject/
>> OK
>>
>>> -----
>>> Section 1.2
>>> s/PE Side/PE side/
>> OK
>>
>>> -----
>>> Section 2&  3
>>> - either:
>>>      s/User-Network/User-to-Network/ in section 2
>>>      + s/NNI is illustrated/Network-to-Network Interface (NNI) is
>>> illustrated/ in section 3
>>> - or: s/User-Network Interface (UNI)/UNI/ in section 2
>>> -----
>>>
>>>
>>> Regards and merry Christmas,
>>>
>>> Julien
>>>


From julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com  Fri Jan  7 06:04:28 2011
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Date: Fri, 07 Jan 2011 15:06:32 +0100
From: Julien Meuric <julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni-02
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Hi again Matthew.

The definition you propose for TSI is fine with me.

The phrase "Client service control" addresses my comment. I do not care 
if you use a note with "=" or a full sentence, but the one you suggest 
for the latter reads clear (to me at least).

Enjoy the week-end,

Julien


Le 07/01/2011 13:33, Bocci, Matthew (Matthew) a écrit :
> Hi Julien,
>
> Happy New Year. Please see below.
>
> Thanks.
> Matthew
>
>
> On 22/12/2010 16:03, "Julien Meuric"<julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com>
> wrote:
>>>> - The phrase "Transport Service Instance" is only mentioned in section
>>>> 3: defining it in section 1.2 may improve the readability; "TSI" is
>>>> only
>>>> used in drawings: is it necessary to use the acronym, especially in
>>>> this
>>>> context where the phrase "Transport Service Interface" is also used?
>>> TSI is expanded in the terminology section (1.2). It is not expanded in
>>> the figures because of the constraints of ASCII art.
>>>
>> [JM] It is expanded but not actually defined/explained; adding a sentence
>> in the terminology section would be helpful.
> MB>  It is defined in RFC5921, section 3.4.2. I propose to add the
> following modified snippet from that paragraph to the terminology section:
> "a single logical point-to-point connection at the Transport Service layer
> between the ingress PE providing a packet transport service to a CE, and
> the corresponding egress PE to which the peer CE is attached."
>>>> - Figure 1: it looks like "Native service control" is defined as native
>>>> service control and/or GMPLS, where I understand that GMPLS can be an
>>>> option even if not native. Would not it be clearer to write "Service
>>>> control" and keep current definition (native and/or GMPLS)?
>>> I think we have to be careful not to confuse the control plane of the
>>> client service for establishing and maintaining client connections
>>> across
>>> the UNI with the control plane of the transport service, which is why we
>>> use the term Native Service Control. So this may be either a control
>>> plane
>>> belonging to the client service, or it may be GMPLS since this can be
>>> used
>>> as an alternative in some instances. The term Native Service is in
>>> common
>>> usage as per RFC3985, but I appreciate that the usage here is a little
>>> unclear. How about: "Native service control = Control plane defined as
>>> belonging to the native service, and/or GMPLS" ?
>>>
>> [JM] Not sure about that one. I completely agree with the intent, my
>> concern is about the "patch-like" wording because it feels like writing
>> "x = x + y" [while y (GMPLS) is not zero]... "x + y" should remain, but I
>> would feel more comfortable with a more generic phrase [than RFC 3985]
>> for the "left x": if "service control" is excluded, how about something
>> like "service layer control"?
> MB>  Service Layer Control could be confused with transport Service layer
> control. Also, mentioning GMPLS was a specific request from the ITU-T here
> and they have already reviewed the document as a part of the joint MPLS-TP
> process, and this somewhat constrains us to only making changes that are
> really necessary. So, how about we delete the note from the figure, change
> the name in the figure to Client Service Control, and then add the
> following sentence to the text below the figure:
> "Note that the client service control plane may be a control protocol
> belonging to the native service, or GMPLS."
>
>

From russ@cisco.com  Mon Jan 10 07:55:17 2011
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Subject: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-roll-security-framework-03
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
information about the Routing Directorate, please see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-roll-security-framework-03
Reviewer: Russ White
Review Date: 10 Jan 2011
Intended Status: Informational

Summary:

I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be
resolved before publication.

Comments:

This draft is well written and very readable; I didn't find any spelling
or editorial nits. Thanks for the hard work! There are some places I
have questions, though I consider all of them minor, and therefore not
blocks to the publication of an informational draft.

=3D=3D
5.1.3

"The only means of fully countering a traffic analysis attack is through
the use of tunneling (encapsulation) where encryption is applied across
the entirety of the original packet source/destination addresses."

Wouldn't injecting false information into the stream also counter this
sort of attack? IE, the point here is to use traffic patterns to
discover information by inference, or rather use metadata to infer data.
Injecting information ignored by the system itself into the data stream
is one traditional means used to obfuscate the metadata.

OTOH, I don't know if this sort of defense is really acceptable in a low
power/lossy network of the type described here.

=3D=3D
4.1.1 & 4.1.2

It might be useful to explain what sort of damage could be done through
routing exchange and routing information exposures... Is there a
particular reason the topology is to be considered "secret?" IE, what's
the security risk to someone knowing what the logical topology looks like=
?

=3D=3D
5.2.2

The counter to overclaiming and misclaiming may employ: comparison with
historical routing/topology data; designs which restrict realizable
network topologies."

I'm not certain how these two countermeasures would work within a
dynamic routing environment. How can a new link (not historically
available) coming up be differentiated from an overclaim? If you
restrict the possible set of topologies to a subset of what is
physically or logically possible, aren't you limiting the uses of the
network over the long term? Won't an attacker know to stay within these
bounds when forming the attack?

=3D=3D

Russ


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From danli@huawei.com  Tue Jan 11 00:51:08 2011
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Date: Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:53:08 +0800
From: Dan Li <danli@huawei.com>
To: Tomonori TAKEDA <takeda.tomonori@lab.ntt.co.jp>
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g-694-lambda-labels-10.txt
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Hi all,

We have updated this draft according to the comments received during the RtgDir review process. The major change is the description of Identifier in section 3.2 and 3.3. Others are minor editorial changes.

The latest version (11) of this draft: http://www.ietf.org/internet-drafts/draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g-694-lambda-labels-11.txt

Thanks,

Dan

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Tomonori TAKEDA" <takeda.tomonori@lab.ntt.co.jp>
To: <danli@huawei.com>
Cc: <rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org>; <rtg-dir@ietf.org>; <draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g-694-lambda-labels.all@tools.ietf.org>
Sent: Friday, December 31, 2010 11:03 PM
Subject: Re: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-ccamp-gmpls-g-694-lambda-labels-10.txt


> Hi Dan,
> 
> Thanks for your reply.
> 
> The proposed text is good for me.
> 
> Tomonori
> 
>> Hi Tomonori,
>> 
>> Thanks for your comments! I would like to update the description of Identifier in section 3.2 and 3.3.
>> 
>> OLD
>>    (3) Identifier: 9 bits
>> 
>>    The identifier field is a per-node assigned and scoped value. This
>>    field MAY change on a per-hop basis. In all cases but one, a node MAY
>>    select any value, including zero (0), for this field. Once selected,
>>    the value MUST NOT change until the LSP is torn down and the value
>>    MUST be used in all LSP related messages, e.g., in Resv messages and
>>    label RRO subobjects. The sole special case occurs when this label
>>    format is used in a label ERO subobject. In this case, the special
>>    value of zero (0) means that the referenced node MAY assign any
>>    Identifier field value, including zero (0), when establishing the
>>    corresponding LSP.
>> NEW
>>    (3) Identifier: 9 bits
>> 
>>    The identifier field in lambda label format is used to distinguish different 
>>    lasers (in one node) when they can transmit the same frequency lambda.
>>    The identifier field is a per-node assigned and scoped value. This
>>    field MAY change on a per-hop basis. In all cases but one, a node MAY
>>    select any value, including zero (0), for this field. Once selected,
>>    the value MUST NOT change until the LSP is torn down and the value
>>    MUST be used in all LSP related messages, e.g., in Resv messages and
>>    label RRO subobjects. The sole special case occurs when this label
>>    format is used in a label ERO subobject. In this case, the special
>>    value of zero (0) means that the referenced node MAY assign any
>>    Identifier field value, including zero (0), when establishing the
>>    corresponding LSP. When non-zero value is assigned to the identifier 
>>    field in a label ERO subobject, the referenced node MUST use the 
>>    assigned value for the identifier field in the corresponding LSP related 
>>    messages.
>> 
>> Is this ok?
>> 
>> Thanks,
>> 
>> Dan
>> 
>

From jmh@joelhalpern.com  Thu Jan 13 15:43:25 2011
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Message-ID: <4D2F8EAA.7060908@joelhalpern.com>
Date: Thu, 13 Jan 2011 18:45:46 -0500
From: "Joel M. Halpern" <jmh@joelhalpern.com>
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Cc: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option.all@tools.ietf.org, "rtg-dir@ietf.org" <rtg-dir@ietf.org>
Subject: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option-00.txt
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft. 
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related 
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose 
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more 
information about the Routing Directorate, please see 
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it 
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF 
Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through 
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option-00.txt
Reviewer: Joel M. Halpern
Review Date: 13-Jan-2011
IETF LC End Date: N/A
Intended Status: Standards Track

Summary: I have significant concerns about this document and recommend 
that the Routing ADs discuss these issues further with the authors.

Comments:

Major Issues:
     Given the existence of RFC 3442, I will not investigate the 
question of whether this is a sensible strategy for directing hosts.  I 
do understand that there are good reasons for wanting to do this. 
However, it seems to me that there needs to be a discussion of how this 
will be made consistent with routing.  A configured preference of this 
sort could easily cause a host to send messages into a long-lived 
temporary black hole, even when there is another path.  Is there an 
expectation that this will somehow be synchronized with teh routing 
system?  If so, how?  If not, what are the consequences if things get 
de-synchronized.

Minor Issues:
     I presume that the reason there is no discussion of size issues, as 
there is in RFC 3442, is due to some difference in DHCPv6 vs DHCPv4?  It 
would seem that even if this is a non-issue, this document should say 
why it is a non-issue.  (It seems likely that excessive use of this 
option by an administrator could cause difficulties.)

Nits:
     The introduction begins with the phrasing "The Neighbor Discovery 
(ICMPv6) protocol".  While ND rides on top of ICMPv6, it is not the same 
as ICMPv6.  The parenthetical is misleading rather than helpful.  Please 
remove it.
     In contrast, it would be helpful if the beginning of the next 
sentence, "Extensions to the protocol defined in [RFC4191]" actually 
included the words "Router Advertisement" in the text, since that is 
what protocol is referred to without being named.

     It would seem a good idea to include a reference to the current 
specification of DHCPv6 the first time it is mentioned.

     It would be clearer (not technically different, but clearer) if the 
first and second sentence in section 4 each indicated what message 
(presumably request and response respectively) is being used to carry 
this information.  Even if obvious, it would also be good if the second 
sentence referred to whatever option holder the response message uses, 
in parallel with the construction of the first sentence.

     The text in section 4.1 as written makes it appear that routes are 
sent individually, rather than the description of the first part of 
section 4 or the actual description of the format of the 
OPTION_NEXT_HOP.  (As written in 4.1, one is led to expect pairs of 
next-hops and routes, which is clearly not what you actually intend.)

Yours,
Joel M. Halpern

From Adrian.Farrel@huawei.com  Thu Jan 13 15:52:00 2011
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Date: Thu, 13 Jan 2011 23:54:20 +0000
From: Adrian Farrel <Adrian.Farrel@huawei.com>
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Cc: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option.all@tools.ietf.org, rtg-dir@ietf.org, "'Joel M. Halpern'" <jmh@joelhalpern.com>
Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option-00.txt
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Hi,

Of course, the I-D is not in WG last call and has, in fact, only just been
adopted by the WG, but I asked for an early Routing Directorate review because
the Abstract of the I-D worried me.

Can we (authors, WG chairs, ADs, and Routing Directorate) have a discussion
about the question Joel asks, and see whether this idea constitutes "dynamic
configuration of static routes on a host" or something more scary?

Many thanks,
Adrian

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Joel M. Halpern [mailto:jmh@joelhalpern.com]
> Sent: 13 January 2011 23:46
> To: rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org
> Cc: rtg-dir@ietf.org; draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option.all@tools.ietf.org
> Subject: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option-00.txt
> 
> Hello,
> 
> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
> 
> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
> discussion or by updating the draft.
> 
> Document: draft-ietf-mif-dhcpv6-route-option-00.txt
> Reviewer: Joel M. Halpern
> Review Date: 13-Jan-2011
> IETF LC End Date: N/A
> Intended Status: Standards Track
> 
> Summary: I have significant concerns about this document and recommend
> that the Routing ADs discuss these issues further with the authors.
> 
> Comments:
> 
> Major Issues:
>      Given the existence of RFC 3442, I will not investigate the
> question of whether this is a sensible strategy for directing hosts.  I
> do understand that there are good reasons for wanting to do this.
> However, it seems to me that there needs to be a discussion of how this
> will be made consistent with routing.  A configured preference of this
> sort could easily cause a host to send messages into a long-lived
> temporary black hole, even when there is another path.  Is there an
> expectation that this will somehow be synchronized with teh routing
> system?  If so, how?  If not, what are the consequences if things get
> de-synchronized.
> 
> Minor Issues:
>      I presume that the reason there is no discussion of size issues, as
> there is in RFC 3442, is due to some difference in DHCPv6 vs DHCPv4?  It
> would seem that even if this is a non-issue, this document should say
> why it is a non-issue.  (It seems likely that excessive use of this
> option by an administrator could cause difficulties.)
> 
> Nits:
>      The introduction begins with the phrasing "The Neighbor Discovery
> (ICMPv6) protocol".  While ND rides on top of ICMPv6, it is not the same
> as ICMPv6.  The parenthetical is misleading rather than helpful.  Please
> remove it.
>      In contrast, it would be helpful if the beginning of the next
> sentence, "Extensions to the protocol defined in [RFC4191]" actually
> included the words "Router Advertisement" in the text, since that is
> what protocol is referred to without being named.
> 
>      It would seem a good idea to include a reference to the current
> specification of DHCPv6 the first time it is mentioned.
> 
>      It would be clearer (not technically different, but clearer) if the
> first and second sentence in section 4 each indicated what message
> (presumably request and response respectively) is being used to carry
> this information.  Even if obvious, it would also be good if the second
> sentence referred to whatever option holder the response message uses,
> in parallel with the construction of the first sentence.
> 
>      The text in section 4.1 as written makes it appear that routes are
> sent individually, rather than the description of the first part of
> section 4 or the actual description of the format of the
> OPTION_NEXT_HOP.  (As written in 4.1, one is led to expect pairs of
> next-hops and routes, which is clearly not what you actually intend.)
> 
> Yours,
> Joel M. Halpern


From leeyoung@huawei.com  Fri Jan 14 13:29:20 2011
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing Directorate, please see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
Reviewer: Young Lee
Review Date: 14 January 2011
Intended Status: BCP

Summary:
I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be resolved before publication.

Comments:
Overall, this document is clearly written and easy to understand.

Major Issues:
No major issues found.

Minor Issues:
Section 1.1

It would be helpful for readers if you include some references for the statement: "The IETF is also actively involved....."



Section 1.1

It is not clear what "refers to" means in the paragraph that begins with "This document refers to a ....." Isn't Performance Metrics Entity what this document tries to implement?



Section 6.6

The statement "the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented" could be more specific. It will be good to summarize the scope of implementation. It was clear to me which parts to be implemented as part of Performance Metrics Entity from the document.

Nits:
Section 1
s/comparison/comparison.

Section 1

s/restricted/limited ("limited" may be a better choice of word than "restricted")



Globally

Either capitalize "performance metric" or use lower-case consistently throughout the document



Globally

Be consistent with the usage of double quotes around the title of RFC's your are referencing to. In some places, you used double quotes (E.g., "Guideline for ..." RFC 5706)  and in other places you did not use double quotes (E.g., RFC 4710, 3611).





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<body lang=3D"EN-US" link=3D"blue" vlink=3D"purple">
<div class=3D"Section1">
<p><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0p=
t">Hello,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0p=
t">I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.=
 The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related dra=
fts as they pass through IETF last call
 and IESG review. The purpose of the review is to provide assistance to the=
 Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing Directorate, please se=
e http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html<o:p></o:p></span></font=
></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0p=
t">Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it=
 would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last=
 Call comments that you receive, and strive
 to resolve them through discussion or by updating the draft.<o:p></o:p></s=
pan></font></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0p=
t">Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
<br>
Reviewer: Young Lee<br>
Review Date: 14 January 2011 <br>
Intended Status: BCP<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font=
-size:12.0pt">Summary:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be resol=
ved before publication.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font=
-size:12.0pt">Comments:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
Overall, this document is clearly written and easy to understand. <o:p></o:=
p></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font=
-size:12.0pt">Major Issues:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
No major issues found.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><strong><b><font size=3D"3" f=
ace=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Minor Issues:</spa=
n></font></b></strong>
<br>
Section 1.1 <o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">It would be helpful for reade=
rs if you include some references for the statement: &#8220;The IETF is als=
o actively involved&#8230;..&#8221;
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></fon=
t></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Section 1.1<o:p></o:p></span>=
</font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">It is not clear what &#8220;r=
efers to&#8221; means in the paragraph that begins with &#8220;This documen=
t refers to a &#8230;..&#8221; Isn&#8217;t Performance Metrics Entity what =
this
 document tries to implement? &nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></fon=
t></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Section 6.6<o:p></o:p></span>=
</font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">The statement &#8220;the Perf=
ormance Metrics Entity be implemented&#8221; could be more specific. It wil=
l be good to summarize the scope of implementation.
 It was clear to me which parts to be implemented as part of Performance Me=
trics Entity from the document. &nbsp;<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span lang=3D"FR" s=
tyle=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Nits:</span></font></b></strong><span lang=3D"FR"=
>
<br>
Section 1<br>
s/comparison/comparison. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Section 1<o:p></o:p></span></=
font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">s/restricted/limited (&#8220;=
limited&#8221; may be a better choice of word than &#8220;restricted&#8221;=
)<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></fon=
t></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Globally
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Either capitalize
</span></font><font size=3D"2" face=3D"Arial"><span style=3D"font-size:10.0=
pt;font-family:Arial"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype=20
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7,1305,1150,2187,575,3222,242,4220,,5410,242,6560,575,7597l10860,21600,2099=
5,7597v485,-1037,605,-2187,485,-3377c21115,3222,20420,2187,19632,1305,18575=
,575,17425,152,16275,,15005,,13735,152,12705,730v-529,288,-1451,1016,-1845,=
1457xe">
 <v:stroke joinstyle=3D"miter" />
 <v:path gradientshapeok=3D"t" o:connecttype=3D"custom" o:connectlocs=3D"10=
860,2187;2928,10800;10860,21600;18672,10800"=20
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</v:shapetype><v:shape id=3D"DtsShapeName" o:spid=3D"_x0000_s1026" type=3D"=
#_x0000_t74"=20
 alt=3D"47E529CG097D5920@5BB2C5D2BED5405097@8h8=3D@@dM62793!!!!!!BIHO@]M627=
93!!!11111111110BCGBD3519Onsl`m/enu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!80L8Z8;D8_M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]m62793!!!11111111110BCGBD3519110B=
CGBD3519!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!86G;&lt;8=3D?8`=
M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]M62793!!!11111111110B322C71D4110B322C71D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!8;?;A8;?@@M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]m62793!!!1@=
6B1B5B110B322C71D4110B322C71D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1"=20
 style=3D'position:absolute;margin-left:0;margin-top:0;width:.05pt;height:.=
05pt;
 z-index:1;visibility:hidden;mso-position-horizontal-relative:text;
 mso-position-vertical-relative:text'>
 <w:anchorlock/>
</v:shape><![endif]--></span></font>&#8220;performance
 metric&#8221; or use lower-case consistently throughout the document <o:p>=
</o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></fon=
t></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Globally<o:p></o:p></span></f=
ont></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Be consistent with the usage =
of double quotes around the title of RFC&#8217;s your are referencing to. I=
n some places, you used double quotes (E.g., &#8220;Guideline
 for &#8230;&#8221; RFC 5706) &nbsp;and in other places you did not use dou=
ble quotes (E.g., RFC 4710, 3611).
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></fon=
t></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" face=3D"Time=
s New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></fon=
t></p>
</div>
</body>
</html>

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From hadi@mojatatu.com  Mon Jan 17 05:55:29 2011
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From: Jamal Hadi Salim <hadi@mojatatu.com>
Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2011 08:57:37 -0500
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Cc: rtg-dir@ietf.org, draft-ietf-pim-registry.all@tools.ietf.org
Subject: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
information about the Routing Directorate, please see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
Reviewer: Jamal Hadi Salim
Review Date: 2011-01-17
IETF LC End Date: 2011-01-20
Intended Status: proposed standard

Summary:

I have some very minor concerns about this document that may need
to be cleared before publication.

Comments:

The document is well written and structured to request IANA for
the creation of a registry for PIM message types. The initial
content specified on this document is based on existing RFCs.
The document goes on to specify how new PIM message types should
be allocated.

Major Issues:

No major issues found.

Minor Issues:
Although section 3.2 describes how the new types should be allocated,
given that this document is the first time all allocated PIM message
types are aggregated, it would be useful to also list the unassigned
message types and summarize what 3.2 says. i.e.

   Type   Name                                      Reference
   ----  ----------------------------------------  ---------------------
     0    Hello                                     [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
     1    Register                                  [RFC4601]
     2    Register Stop                             [RFC4601]
     3    Join/Prune                                [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
     4    Bootstrap                                 [RFC4601]
     5    Assert                                    [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
     6    Graft                                     [RFC3973]
     7    Graft-Ack                                 [RFC3973]
     8    Candidate RP Advertisement                [RFC4601]
     9    State Refresh                             [RFC3973]
    10    DF Election                               [RFC5015]
    11-14 Unassigned at the moment                  Future IETF Review
    15    Reserved (for extension of type space)    [this document]

Nits:

There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
but that RFC is an experimental RFC.


cheers,
jamal

From bclaise@cisco.com  Mon Jan 17 14:54:25 2011
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Hi Lee,

Thanks for your review.
>
> Hello,
>
> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this 
> draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or 
> routing-related drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG 
> review. The purpose of the review is to provide assistance to the 
> Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing Directorate, 
> please see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>
> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, 
> it would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other 
> IETF Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them 
> through discussion or by updating the draft.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
> Reviewer: Young Lee
> Review Date: 14 January 2011
> Intended Status: BCP
>
> **Summary:**
> I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be 
> resolved before publication.
>
> **Comments:**
> Overall, this document is clearly written and easy to understand.
>
> **Major Issues:**
> No major issues found.
>
> **Minor Issues:**
> Section 1.1
>
> It would be helpful for readers if you include some references for the 
> statement: "The IETF is also actively involved....."
>
Added the reference to TCP [RFC793] and SCTP [RFC4960]
>
> Section 1.1
>
> It is not clear what "refers to" means in the paragraph that begins 
> with "This document refers to a ....." Isn't Performance Metrics 
> Entity what this document tries to implement?
>
Yes.
Would the following solve your issue?
OLD:
                          This document refers to a Performance Metrics 
Entity, whose goal is
                          to advice and support the Performance Metric 
development at the IETF.
                          A recommendation about the Performance Metrics 
Entity is made
                          in Section 6.6.

NEW:
                         This document refers to the implementation of a 
Performance Metrics Entity, whose goal is
                          to advice and support the Performance Metric 
development at the IETF.
                          A recommendation about the Performance Metrics 
Entity is made
                          in Section 6.6.


> Section 6.6
>
> The statement "the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented" could be 
> more specific. It will be good to summarize the scope of 
> implementation. It was clear to me which parts to be implemented as 
> part of Performance Metrics Entity from the document.
>
What about "the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented (_according to 
this memo)"?_
>
> **Nits:**
> Section 1
> s/comparison/comparison.
>
Done.
>
> Section 1
>
> s/restricted/limited ("limited" may be a better choice of word than 
> "restricted")
>
Done.
>
> Globally
>
> Either capitalize "performance metric" or use lower-case consistently 
> throughout the document
>
Capitalized, as this is specified in the terminology. Good catch.
>
> Globally
>
> Be consistent with the usage of double quotes around the title of 
> RFC's your are referencing to. In some places, you used double quotes 
> (E.g., "Guideline for ..." RFC 5706)  and in other places you did not 
> use double quotes (E.g., RFC 4710, 3611).
>
Done.

I keep a temp version with all the changes.


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    Hi Lee,<br>
    <br>
    Thanks for your review.<br>
    <blockquote
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      <div class="Section1">
        <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size:
              12pt;">Hello,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size:
              12pt;">I have been selected as the Routing Directorate
              reviewer for this draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to
              review all routing or routing-related drafts as they pass
              through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose of the
              review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For
              more information about the Routing Directorate, please see
              <a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html</a><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size:
              12pt;">Although these comments are primarily for the use
              of the Routing ADs, it would be helpful if you could
              consider them along with any other IETF Last Call comments
              that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
              discussion or by updating the draft.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size:
              12pt;">Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
              <br>
              Reviewer: Young Lee<br>
              Review Date: 14 January 2011 <br>
              Intended Status: BCP<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p><strong><b><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span
                  style="font-size: 12pt;">Summary:</span></font></b></strong>
          <br>
          I have some minor concerns about this document that I think
          should be resolved before publication.<o:p></o:p></p>
        <p><strong><b><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span
                  style="font-size: 12pt;">Comments:</span></font></b></strong>
          <br>
          Overall, this document is clearly written and easy to
          understand. <o:p></o:p></p>
        <p><strong><b><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span
                  style="font-size: 12pt;">Major Issues:</span></font></b></strong>
          <br>
          No major issues found.<o:p></o:p></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><strong><b><font
                face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size:
                  12pt;">Minor Issues:</span></font></b></strong>
          <br>
          Section 1.1 <o:p></o:p></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">It would be
              helpful for readers if you include some references for the
              statement: &#8220;The IETF is also actively involved&#8230;..&#8221;
            </span></font></p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    Added the reference to TCP [RFC793] and SCTP [RFC4960]<br>
    <blockquote
cite="mid:7AEB3D6833318045B4AE71C2C87E8E1736AC87@DFWEML501-MBX.china.huawei.com"
      type="cite">
      <div class="Section1">
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Section 1.1<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">It is not
              clear what &#8220;refers to&#8221; means in the paragraph that begins
              with &#8220;This document refers to a &#8230;..&#8221; Isn&#8217;t Performance
              Metrics Entity what this document tries to implement?&nbsp; <br>
            </span></font></p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    Yes.<br>
    Would the following solve your issue?<br>
    OLD:<br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; This document refers to a Performance
    Metrics Entity, whose goal is <br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; to advice and support the Performance
    Metric development at the IETF. <br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A recommendation about the Performance
    Metrics Entity is made <br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; in Section 6.6.<br>
    <br>
    NEW:<br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp; This document refers to the implementation
    of a Performance Metrics Entity, whose goal is <br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; to advice and support the Performance
    Metric development at the IETF. <br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A recommendation about the Performance
    Metrics Entity is made <br>
    &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; in Section 6.6.<br>
    <br>
    <br>
    <blockquote
cite="mid:7AEB3D6833318045B4AE71C2C87E8E1736AC87@DFWEML501-MBX.china.huawei.com"
      type="cite">
      <div class="Section1">
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Section 6.6<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">The statement
              &#8220;the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented&#8221; could be
              more specific. It will be good to summarize the scope of
              implementation. It was clear to me which parts to be
              implemented as part of Performance Metrics Entity from the
              document.&nbsp; <br>
            </span></font></p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    What about "<font face="Times New Roman, Times">the Performance
      Metrics Entity be
      implemented (<u>according to this memo)"?</u></font>
    <blockquote
cite="mid:7AEB3D6833318045B4AE71C2C87E8E1736AC87@DFWEML501-MBX.china.huawei.com"
      type="cite">
      <div class="Section1">
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p><strong><b><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span
                  style="font-size: 12pt;" lang="FR">Nits:</span></font></b></strong><span
            lang="FR">
            <br>
            Section 1<br>
            s/comparison/comparison. </span></p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    Done.<br>
    <blockquote
cite="mid:7AEB3D6833318045B4AE71C2C87E8E1736AC87@DFWEML501-MBX.china.huawei.com"
      type="cite">
      <div class="Section1">
        <p><span lang="FR"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Section 1<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">s/restricted/limited
              (&#8220;limited&#8221; may be a better choice of word than
              &#8220;restricted&#8221;)</span></font></p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    Done.<br>
    <blockquote
cite="mid:7AEB3D6833318045B4AE71C2C87E8E1736AC87@DFWEML501-MBX.china.huawei.com"
      type="cite">
      <div class="Section1">
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Globally
              <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Either
              capitalize
            </span></font><font face="Arial" size="2"><span
              style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype 
 id="_x0000_t74" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="74" path="m10860,2187c10451,1746,9529,1018,9015,730,7865,152,6685,,5415,,4175,152,2995,575,1967,1305,1150,2187,575,3222,242,4220,,5410,242,6560,575,7597l10860,21600,20995,7597v485,-1037,605,-2187,485,-3377c21115,3222,20420,2187,19632,1305,18575,575,17425,152,16275,,15005,,13735,152,12705,730v-529,288,-1451,1016,-1845,1457xe">
 <v:stroke joinstyle="miter" />
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  o:connectangles="270,180,90,0" textboxrect="5037,2277,16557,13677" />
</v:shapetype><v:shape id="DtsShapeName" o:spid="_x0000_s1026" type="#_x0000_t74" 
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1" 
 style='position:absolute;margin-left:0;margin-top:0;width:.05pt;height:.05pt;
 z-index:1;visibility:hidden;mso-position-horizontal-relative:text;
 mso-position-vertical-relative:text'>
 <w:anchorlock/>
</v:shape><![endif]--></span></font>&#8220;performance metric&#8221; or use
          lower-case consistently throughout the document </p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    Capitalized, as this is specified in the terminology. Good catch.<br>
    <blockquote
cite="mid:7AEB3D6833318045B4AE71C2C87E8E1736AC87@DFWEML501-MBX.china.huawei.com"
      type="cite">
      <div class="Section1">
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><o:p></o:p></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Globally<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Be consistent
              with the usage of double quotes around the title of RFC&#8217;s
              your are referencing to. In some places, you used double
              quotes (E.g., &#8220;Guideline for &#8230;&#8221; RFC 5706) &nbsp;and in other
              places you did not use double quotes (E.g., RFC 4710,
              3611).
              <o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
        <p style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;"><font face="Times New
            Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
      </div>
    </blockquote>
    Done.<br>
    <br>
    I keep a temp version with all the changes.<br>
    <br>
  </body>
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--------------030308040203030500000507--

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Hi,

A Normative reference is one that must be read to understand the document in
hand.

A reference used to say "this code point was created in the referenced document"
does not require the referenced document to be read. That would make it
Informational.

A

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Stig Venaas [mailto:svenaas@cisco.com]
> Sent: 18 January 2011 18:02
> To: Jamal Hadi Salim
> Cc: rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org; rtg-dir@ietf.org; draft-ietf-pim-
> registry.all@tools.ietf.org
> Subject: Re: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
> 
> On 1/17/2011 5:57 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
> > Hello,
> >
> > I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
> > The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
> > drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
> > of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
> > information about the Routing Directorate, please see
> > http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
> 
> Thanks, I agree with your comments. Just one question.
> 
> [...]
> > Nits:
> >
> > There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
> > reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
> > but that RFC is an experimental RFC.
> 
> I'm not sure whether it is important, but I am wondering what is the
> right solution here. Is it OK to have a normative reference, or should
> it be an informative reference?
> 
> I'm sure it must be common that registries are created and need to
> reference e.g. experimental RFCs. In some cases the registry reference
> is not even an RFC. Perhaps it then makes more sense to list them as
> informative references?
> 
> Stig
> 
> >
> > cheers,
> > jamal


From svenaas@cisco.com  Tue Jan 18 09:59:26 2011
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Cc: rtg-dir@ietf.org, draft-ietf-pim-registry.all@tools.ietf.org, rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org
Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
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On 1/17/2011 5:57 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Thanks, I agree with your comments. Just one question.

[...]
> Nits:
>
> There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
> reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
> but that RFC is an experimental RFC.

I'm not sure whether it is important, but I am wondering what is the
right solution here. Is it OK to have a normative reference, or should
it be an informative reference?

I'm sure it must be common that registries are created and need to
reference e.g. experimental RFCs. In some cases the registry reference
is not even an RFC. Perhaps it then makes more sense to list them as
informative references?

Stig

>
> cheers,
> jamal


From leeyoung@huawei.com  Tue Jan 18 12:03:03 2011
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Hi Benoit,

Thanks. I am fine with your suggested changes. No more issues are pending.

Regards,
Young

________________________________
From: Benoit Claise [mailto:bclaise@cisco.com]
Sent: Monday, January 17, 2011 4:57 PM
To: Leeyoung
Cc: rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org; rtg-dir@ietf.org; draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework.all@tools.ietf.org; me
Subject: Re: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt

Hi Lee,

Thanks for your review.


Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing Directorate, please see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
Reviewer: Young Lee
Review Date: 14 January 2011
Intended Status: BCP

Summary:
I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be resolved before publication.

Comments:
Overall, this document is clearly written and easy to understand.

Major Issues:
No major issues found.

Minor Issues:
Section 1.1

It would be helpful for readers if you include some references for the statement: "The IETF is also actively involved....."
Added the reference to TCP [RFC793] and SCTP [RFC4960]




Section 1.1

It is not clear what "refers to" means in the paragraph that begins with "This document refers to a ....." Isn't Performance Metrics Entity what this document tries to implement?
Yes.
Would the following solve your issue?
OLD:
                         This document refers to a Performance Metrics Entity, whose goal is
                         to advice and support the Performance Metric development at the IETF.
                         A recommendation about the Performance Metrics Entity is made
                         in Section 6.6.

NEW:
                        This document refers to the implementation of a Performance Metrics Entity, whose goal is
                         to advice and support the Performance Metric development at the IETF.
                         A recommendation about the Performance Metrics Entity is made
                         in Section 6.6.






Section 6.6

The statement "the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented" could be more specific. It will be good to summarize the scope of implementation. It was clear to me which parts to be implemented as part of Performance Metrics Entity from the document.
What about "the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented (according to this memo)"?

Nits:
Section 1
s/comparison/comparison.
Done.


Section 1

s/restricted/limited ("limited" may be a better choice of word than "restricted")
Done.




Globally

Either capitalize "performance metric" or use lower-case consistently throughout the document
Capitalized, as this is specified in the terminology. Good catch.




Globally

Be consistent with the usage of double quotes around the title of RFC's your are referencing to. In some places, you used double quotes (E.g., "Guideline for ..." RFC 5706)  and in other places you did not use double quotes (E.g., RFC 4710, 3611).




Done.

I keep a temp version with all the changes.

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 style=3D"font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">Hi Benoit,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p=
>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"2" color=3D"navy" face=3D"Arial"><span=
 style=3D"font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"2" color=3D"navy" face=3D"Arial"><span=
 style=3D"font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">Thanks. I am fine with your suggested =
changes. No more issues are pending.
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"2" color=3D"navy" face=3D"Arial"><span=
 style=3D"font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"2" color=3D"navy" face=3D"Arial"><span=
 style=3D"font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy">Regards,<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
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<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
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 style=3D"font-size:
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</span></font></div>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><b><font size=3D"2" color=3D"black" face=3D"Tahoma">=
<span style=3D"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:windowtext;font-we=
ight:bold">From:</span></font></b><font size=3D"2" color=3D"black" face=3D"=
Tahoma"><span style=3D"font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Tahoma;
color:windowtext">
 Benoit Claise [mailto:bclaise@cisco.com] <br>
<b><span style=3D"font-weight:bold">Sent:</span></b> Monday, January 17, 20=
11 4:57 PM<br>
<b><span style=3D"font-weight:bold">To:</span></b> <st1:PersonName w:st=3D"=
on">Leeyoung</st1:PersonName><br>
<b><span style=3D"font-weight:bold">Cc:</span></b> <st1:PersonName w:st=3D"=
on">rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org</st1:PersonName>;
<st1:PersonName w:st=3D"on">rtg-dir@ietf.org</st1:PersonName>; <st1:PersonN=
ame w:st=3D"on">
draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework.all@tools.ietf.org</st1:PersonName>; me<b=
r>
<b><span style=3D"font-weight:bold">Subject:</span></b> Re: RtgDir review: =
draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt</span></font><font color=3D"black"=
><span style=3D"color:windowtext"><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><o:p>&nbsp;</o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id=
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93!!!11111111110BCGBD3519Onsl`m/enu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!80L8Z8;D8_M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]m62793!!!11111111110BCGBD3519110B=
CGBD3519!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!86G;&lt;8=3D?8`=
M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]M62793!!!11111111110B322C71D4110B322C71D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!8;?;A8;?@@M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]m62793!!!1@=
6B1B5B110B322C71D4110B322C71D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1"=20
 style=3D'position:absolute;margin-left:0;margin-top:0;width:.05pt;height:.=
05pt;
 z-index:1;visibility:hidden'>
 <w:anchorlock/>
</v:shape><![endif]--></span>Hi
 Lee,<br>
<br>
Thanks for your review.<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></font></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D=
"font-size:12.0pt"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
 <u1:shapedefaults u2:ext=3D"edit" spidmax=3D"2050"/>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
 <u3:shapelayout u4:ext=3D"edit">
  <u3:idmap u4:ext=3D"edit" data=3D"1"/>
 </u3:shapelayout>
</xml><![endif]-->Hello,<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D=
"font-size:12.0pt">I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer=
 for this draft. The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or rou=
ting-related drafts as they pass through
 IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose of the review is to provide as=
sistance to the Routing ADs. For more information about the Routing Directo=
rate, please see
<a href=3D"http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html">http://www.ie=
tf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html</a><u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></span></fo=
nt></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D=
"font-size:12.0pt">Although these comments are primarily for the use of the=
 Routing ADs, it would be helpful if you could consider them along with any=
 other IETF Last Call comments that you
 receive, and strive to resolve them through discussion or by updating the =
draft.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D=
"font-size:12.0pt">Document: draft-ietf-pmol-metrics-framework-07.txt
<br>
Reviewer: Young Lee<br>
Review Date: 14 January 2011 <br>
Intended Status: BCP<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><sp=
an style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Summary:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be resol=
ved before publication.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><sp=
an style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Comments:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
Overall, this document is clearly written and easy to understand. <u5:p></u=
5:p><o:p></o:p></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><sp=
an style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Major Issues:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
No major issues found.<u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><strong><b><font size=3D"3" c=
olor=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Mi=
nor Issues:</span></font></b></strong>
<br>
Section 1.1 <u5:p></u5:p><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">It would be h=
elpful for readers if you include some references for
 the statement: &#8220;The IETF is also actively involved&#8230;..&#8221; <=
/span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Added the reference to TCP [RFC793] =
and SCTP [RFC4960]<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p></u5:p>=
<u5:p>&nbsp;</u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">Section 1.1<u=
5:p></u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">It is not cle=
ar what &#8220;refers to&#8221; means in the paragraph that begins
 with &#8220;This document refers to a &#8230;..&#8221; Isn&#8217;t Perform=
ance Metrics Entity what this document tries to implement?&nbsp;
</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Yes.<br>
Would the following solve your issue?<br>
OLD:<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; This =
document refers to a Performance Metrics Entity, whose goal is
<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; to ad=
vice and support the Performance Metric development at the IETF.
<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A rec=
ommendation about the Performance Metrics Entity is made
<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; in Se=
ction 6.6.<br>
<br>
NEW:<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;=
 &nbsp;&nbsp; This document refers to the implementation of a Performance M=
etrics Entity, whose goal is
<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; to ad=
vice and support the Performance Metric development at the IETF.
<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; A rec=
ommendation about the Performance Metrics Entity is made
<br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nb=
sp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; in Se=
ction 6.6.<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p></u5:p>=
<u5:p>&nbsp;</u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">Section 6.6<u=
5:p></u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">The statement=
 &#8220;the Performance Metrics Entity be implemented&#8221; could
 be more specific. It will be good to summarize the scope of implementation=
. It was clear to me which parts to be implemented as part of Performance M=
etrics Entity from the document.&nbsp;
</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">What about &quot;the Performance Met=
rics Entity be implemented (<u>according to this memo)&quot;?</u>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p><strong><b><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><sp=
an lang=3D"FR" style=3D"font-size:12.0pt"><u5:p></u5:p>Nits:</span></font><=
/b></strong><span lang=3D"FR">
<br>
Section 1<br>
s/comparison/comparison. </span><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Done.<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p></u5:p>=
Section 1<u5:p></u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">s/restricted/=
limited (&#8220;limited&#8221; may be a better choice of word than
 &#8220;restricted&#8221;)</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Done.<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p></u5:p>=
<u5:p>&nbsp;</u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">Globally
<u5:p></u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">Either capita=
lize
</span></font><u6:shapetype id=3D"_x0000_t74" coordsize=3D"21600,21600" u5:=
spt=3D"74" path=3D"m10860,2187c10451,1746,9529,1018,9015,730,7865,152,6685,=
,5415,,4175,152,2995,575,1967,1305,1150,2187,575,3222,242,4220,,5410,242,65=
60,575,7597l10860,21600,20995,7597v485,-1037,605,-2187,485,-3377c21115,3222=
,20420,2187,19632,1305,18575,575,17425,152,16275,,15005,,13735,152,12705,73=
0v-529,288,-1451,1016,-1845,1457xe"><u6:stroke joinstyle=3D"miter" /><u6:pa=
th gradientshapeok=3D"t" u5:connecttype=3D"custom" u5:connectlocs=3D"10860,=
2187;2928,10800;10860,21600;18672,10800" u5:connectangles=3D"270,180,90,0" =
textboxrect=3D"5037,2277,16557,13677" /></u6:shapetype><u6:shape id=3D"DtsS=
hapeName" u5:spid=3D"_x0000_s1026" type=3D"#_x0000_t74" alt=3D"47E529CG097D=
5920@5BB2C5D2BED5405097@8h8=3D@@dM62793!!!!!!BIHO@]M62793!!!11111111110BCGB=
D3519Onsl`m/enu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!80L8Z8=
;D8_M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]m62793!!!11111111110BCGBD3519110BCGBD3519!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!86G;&lt;8=3D?8`M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]M6=
2793!!!11111111110B322C71D4110B322C71D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!8;?;A8;?@@M62793!!!!!!BIHO@]m62793!!!1@6B1B5B110B322C71D411=
0B322C71D4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1" style=3D"position:absolute;margin-lef=
t:0;margin-top:0;width:.05pt;height:.05pt;
 z-index:1;visibility:hidden;mso-position-horizontal-relative:text;
 mso-position-vertical-relative:text"><u7:anchorlock /></u6:shape>&#8220;pe=
rformance
 metric&#8221; or use lower-case consistently throughout the document <o:p>=
</o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New R=
oman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Capitalized, as this is specified in=
 the terminology. Good catch.<br>
<br>
<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><u5:p></u5:p><font size=3D"3"=
 color=3D"black" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:
12.0pt;font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p>=
&nbsp;</u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">Globally<u5:p=
></u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;">Be consistent=
 with the usage of double quotes around the title of
 RFC&#8217;s your are referencing to. In some places, you used double quote=
s (E.g., &#8220;Guideline for &#8230;&#8221; RFC 5706) &nbsp;and in other p=
laces you did not use double quotes (E.g., RFC 4710, 3611).
<u5:p></u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p>&nbsp;<=
/u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p style=3D"margin:0in;margin-bottom:.0001pt"><font size=3D"3" color=3D"bla=
ck" face=3D"Times New
            Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:&quot;Times New\000D\000A            Roman&quot;"><u5:p>&nbsp;<=
/u5:p></span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class=3D"MsoNormal" style=3D"margin-bottom:12.0pt"><font size=3D"3" colo=
r=3D"black" face=3D"Times New Roman"><span style=3D"font-size:12.0pt">Done.=
<br>
<br>
I keep a temp version with all the changes.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
</div>
</body>
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From: Jamal Hadi Salim <hadi@mojatatu.com>
Date: Wed, 19 Jan 2011 11:02:03 -0500
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
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For completion sake: i am assuming the logical conclusion here is for
Stig to move
those refs to informative, correct?

cheers,
jamal

On Tue, Jan 18, 2011 at 1:10 PM, Adrian Farrel <Adrian.Farrel@huawei.com> wrote:
> Hi,
>
> A Normative reference is one that must be read to understand the document in
> hand.
>
> A reference used to say "this code point was created in the referenced document"
> does not require the referenced document to be read. That would make it
> Informational.
>
> A
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: Stig Venaas [mailto:svenaas@cisco.com]
>> Sent: 18 January 2011 18:02
>> To: Jamal Hadi Salim
>> Cc: rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org; rtg-dir@ietf.org; draft-ietf-pim-
>> registry.all@tools.ietf.org
>> Subject: Re: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
>>
>> On 1/17/2011 5:57 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
>> > Hello,
>> >
>> > I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
>> > The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
>> > drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
>> > of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
>> > information about the Routing Directorate, please see
>> > http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>>
>> Thanks, I agree with your comments. Just one question.
>>
>> [...]
>> > Nits:
>> >
>> > There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
>> > reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
>> > but that RFC is an experimental RFC.
>>
>> I'm not sure whether it is important, but I am wondering what is the
>> right solution here. Is it OK to have a normative reference, or should
>> it be an informative reference?
>>
>> I'm sure it must be common that registries are created and need to
>> reference e.g. experimental RFCs. In some cases the registry reference
>> is not even an RFC. Perhaps it then makes more sense to list them as
>> informative references?
>>
>> Stig
>>
>> >
>> > cheers,
>> > jamal
>
>

From stig@venaas.com  Wed Jan 19 09:44:00 2011
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Cc: rtg-dir@ietf.org, draft-ietf-pim-registry.all@tools.ietf.org, Adrian.Farrel@huawei.com, rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org
Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
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On 1/19/2011 8:02 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
> For completion sake: i am assuming the logical conclusion here is for
> Stig to move
> those refs to informative, correct?

I will. Based on the below, I should make all references informational,
even if the document using the code point is standards track.

That makes sense to me :)

Stig
>
> cheers,
> jamal
>
> On Tue, Jan 18, 2011 at 1:10 PM, Adrian Farrel<Adrian.Farrel@huawei.com>  wrote:
>> Hi,
>>
>> A Normative reference is one that must be read to understand the document in
>> hand.
>>
>> A reference used to say "this code point was created in the referenced document"
>> does not require the referenced document to be read. That would make it
>> Informational.
>>
>> A
>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: Stig Venaas [mailto:svenaas@cisco.com]
>>> Sent: 18 January 2011 18:02
>>> To: Jamal Hadi Salim
>>> Cc: rtg-ads@tools.ietf.org; rtg-dir@ietf.org; draft-ietf-pim-
>>> registry.all@tools.ietf.org
>>> Subject: Re: RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
>>>
>>> On 1/17/2011 5:57 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
>>>> Hello,
>>>>
>>>> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
>>>> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
>>>> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
>>>> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
>>>> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
>>>> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>>>
>>> Thanks, I agree with your comments. Just one question.
>>>
>>> [...]
>>>> Nits:
>>>>
>>>> There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
>>>> reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
>>>> but that RFC is an experimental RFC.
>>>
>>> I'm not sure whether it is important, but I am wondering what is the
>>> right solution here. Is it OK to have a normative reference, or should
>>> it be an informative reference?
>>>
>>> I'm sure it must be common that registries are created and need to
>>> reference e.g. experimental RFCs. In some cases the registry reference
>>> is not even an RFC. Perhaps it then makes more sense to list them as
>>> informative references?
>>>
>>> Stig
>>>
>>>>
>>>> cheers,
>>>> jamal
>>
>>


From enkechen@cisco.com  Fri Jan 21 16:42:24 2011
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Subject: [RTG-DIR] Review of draft-ietf-isis-purge-tlv-05.txt
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--------------010003090403070600010804
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft. 
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related 
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose 
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more 
information about the Routing Directorate, please see 
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it 
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF 
Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through 
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-isis-purge-tlv-05.txt
Reviewer: Enke Chen
Review Date: January 20, 2011
Intended Status: Standards Track
**

Summary:
****

The proposed extension makes sense.  The new TLV is useful in debugging 
and operation. There is no performance impact as it is limited to purges.**
**

**Comments:

Overall this document is clearly written and easy to understand.****

Major Issues:

None.

Minor Issues:

None.


--------------010003090403070600010804
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<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN">
<html>
<head>

<meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1">
</head>
<body bgcolor="#ffffff" text="#000000">
<div class="Section1">
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Hello,</span></font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I
have
been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
information about the Routing Directorate, please see
<a class="moz-txt-link-freetext" href="http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html">http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html</a></span></font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Although
these
comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it would
be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last
Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
discussion or by updating the draft.</span></font></p>
<p><font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Document:
</span></font>draft-ietf-isis-purge-tlv-05.txt<font
 face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br>
Reviewer: Enke Chen<br>
Review Date: January 20, 2011<br>
Intended Status: Standards Track<br>
<strong></strong></span></font></p>
<p>Summary:<br>
<font face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"><strong><b></b></strong></span></font></p>
<p>
The proposed extension makes sense.&nbsp; The new TLV is useful in debugging
and operation. There is no performance impact as it is limited to
purges.<strong><font size="3"><font face="Times New Roman"><b><br>
</b></font></font></strong></p>
<p><strong></strong>Comments:<br>
</p>
<p>Overall this document is clearly written and easy to understand.<strong><b><font
 face="Times New Roman" size="3"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"></span></font></b></strong><br>
</p>
<p>Major Issues:<br>
</p>
<p>None.<br>
</p>
<p>Minor Issues:<br>
</p>
<p>None.<br>
</p>
</div>
</body>
</html>

--------------010003090403070600010804--

From matthew.bocci@alcatel-lucent.com  Tue Jan 25 07:39:05 2011
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose of
the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
information about the Routing Directorate, please see
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF Last
Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-isis-ieee-aq-03.txt
Reviewer: Matthew Bocci
Review Date: 24-01-11
IETF LC End Date: 18-01-11
Intended Status: Standards Track

Summary:

I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be
resolved before publication.


Comments:

Major Issues:

None

Minor Issues:

Abstract:
   802.1aq Shortest Path Bridging (SPB) is being standardized by the
   IEEE as the next step in the evolution of the various spanning tree
   and registration protocols. 802.1aq allows for true shortest path
   forwarding in a mesh network context utilizing multiple equal cost
   paths. This permits it to support much larger layer 2 topologies,
   with faster convergence, and vastly improved use of the mesh
   topology. Combined with this is single point provisioning for
   logical connectivity membership (E-LINE/E-LAN/E-TREE etc).

MB> I would suggest stating up-front that this is applicable to Ethernet
e.g. "802.1aq allows for true shortest path forwarding in an Ethernet mesh
network context utilizing multiple equal cost paths." Also, please expand
all acronyms on first use.

   Note that 802.1aq requires no state machine or other substantive
   changes to [IS-IS]. It is our intention that 802.1aq be simply a new
                                 ^^^^^^^^^
MB> Is this an intention or fact? I think this could be rephrased as e.g.
"802.1aq simply requires a new
    NLPID and set of TLVs."


   NLPID and set of TLVs. In the event of any confusion the reader
   should take [IS-IS] as authoritative.

MB> Please can you clarify the above sentence. Do you mean "In the event
of inconsistency between this document and [IS-IS], [IS-IS] should be
taken as authoritative."?

=20
Section 1: Introduction:
This section is empty. I suggest that some text should be proposed to fill
this section.


Section 4:=20
This draft specifies a number of extensions, in particular a set of new
TLVs, to allow IS-IS to support Shortest Path Bridging (SPB). Those
sections of the draft are clearly normative. It also includes a lengthy
overview (Section 4) of SPB which I do not think is intended to be
normative (the draft explains that the IEEE is responsible for the overall
standardisation of SPB).  However, that section contains some text using
normative language, e.g: MUST NOT in Section 4.3. I believe this language
should be removed and the status of section 4 clarified. You could include
a statement similar to the statement about IS-IS that you used in the
abstract, but referencing [802.1aq], as the first paragraph of section 4.

Sections 13 - 16
These sections define the new TLVs. In general, the figures do not
indicate the byte ordering/alignment and do not share a common style. For
example, in section 14.1:

   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |Type =3D SPB-Inst| =3D 1
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |   Length      |     (1 byte)
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |               CIST Root Identifier  (4 bytes)                 |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |               CIST Root Identifier (cont)  (4 bytes)          |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |           CIST External ROOT Path Cost     (4 bytes)          |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |        Bridge Priority        |         (2 bytes)
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |R R R R R R R R R R R|V|              SPSourceID               |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   | Num of Trees  |       (1 byte)
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |                  VLAN-ID (1) Tuples    (8 bytes)              |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
   |                  VLAN-ID (N) Tuples    (8 bytes)              |
   +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

    where VLAN-ID tuples have the format as:

       0                   1                   2                   3
       0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1
      +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
      |U|M|A|  Res    |
      +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
      |                     ECT - Algorithm (32 bits)                 |
      +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
      | Base VID (12 bits)    |   SPVID (12 bits)     |
      +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+


It would help readability if you structured the figures throughout showing
the ordering/alignment by adding a couple of lines to the top of each one
showing the bit/byte alignment, as in the VLAN-ID tuple example above.




Nits:
- There are numerous instances where acronyms are not expanded on first
use. Please expand all unfamiliar (i.e. not very common in the routing
area) acronyms.

- Section 4, 2nd para, last line: please provide references for 802.1ag
and Y.1731.=20



From stig@venaas.com  Mon Jan 31 12:45:31 2011
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Subject: Re: [RTG-DIR] RtgDir review: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
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Hi

Thanks for the review. I have now submitted revision 04 that I believe
takes care of your issues. See below.

On 1/17/2011 5:57 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
> Hello,
>
> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>
> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
> discussion or by updating the draft.
>
> Document: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
> Reviewer: Jamal Hadi Salim
> Review Date: 2011-01-17
> IETF LC End Date: 2011-01-20
> Intended Status: proposed standard
>
> Summary:
>
> I have some very minor concerns about this document that may need
> to be cleared before publication.
>
> Comments:
>
> The document is well written and structured to request IANA for
> the creation of a registry for PIM message types. The initial
> content specified on this document is based on existing RFCs.
> The document goes on to specify how new PIM message types should
> be allocated.
>
> Major Issues:
>
> No major issues found.
>
> Minor Issues:
> Although section 3.2 describes how the new types should be allocated,
> given that this document is the first time all allocated PIM message
> types are aggregated, it would be useful to also list the unassigned
> message types and summarize what 3.2 says. i.e.
>
>     Type   Name                                      Reference
>     ----  ----------------------------------------  ---------------------
>       0    Hello                                     [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
>       1    Register                                  [RFC4601]
>       2    Register Stop                             [RFC4601]
>       3    Join/Prune                                [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
>       4    Bootstrap                                 [RFC4601]
>       5    Assert                                    [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
>       6    Graft                                     [RFC3973]
>       7    Graft-Ack                                 [RFC3973]
>       8    Candidate RP Advertisement                [RFC4601]
>       9    State Refresh                             [RFC3973]
>      10    DF Election                               [RFC5015]
>      11-14 Unassigned at the moment                  Future IETF Review

I added

11-14 Unassigned      this document

>      15    Reserved (for extension of type space)    [this document]
>
> Nits:
>
> There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
> reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
> but that RFC is an experimental RFC.

I have now made them informative. I believe that is appropriate.

In addition I added the sentence:

The message type is a 4-bit integer with possible values from 0 to 15.

Stig

>
> cheers,
> jamal


From hadi@mojatatu.com  Mon Jan 31 15:02:44 2011
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From: Jamal Hadi Salim <hadi@mojatatu.com>
Date: Mon, 31 Jan 2011 18:05:24 -0500
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Hi Stig,

Sounds good to me. I will take your word for it and assume
that i dont need to validate the document for those changes ;->

cheers,
jamal

On Mon, Jan 31, 2011 at 3:48 PM, Stig Venaas <stig@venaas.com> wrote:
> Hi
>
> Thanks for the review. I have now submitted revision 04 that I believe
> takes care of your issues. See below.
>
> On 1/17/2011 5:57 AM, Jamal Hadi Salim wrote:
>>
>> Hello,
>>
>> I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft.
>> The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related
>> drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose
>> of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more
>> information about the Routing Directorate, please see
>> http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html
>>
>> Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it
>> would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF
>> Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through
>> discussion or by updating the draft.
>>
>> Document: draft-ietf-pim-registry-03
>> Reviewer: Jamal Hadi Salim
>> Review Date: 2011-01-17
>> IETF LC End Date: 2011-01-20
>> Intended Status: proposed standard
>>
>> Summary:
>>
>> I have some very minor concerns about this document that may need
>> to be cleared before publication.
>>
>> Comments:
>>
>> The document is well written and structured to request IANA for
>> the creation of a registry for PIM message types. The initial
>> content specified on this document is based on existing RFCs.
>> The document goes on to specify how new PIM message types should
>> be allocated.
>>
>> Major Issues:
>>
>> No major issues found.
>>
>> Minor Issues:
>> Although section 3.2 describes how the new types should be allocated,
>> given that this document is the first time all allocated PIM message
>> types are aggregated, it would be useful to also list the unassigned
>> message types and summarize what 3.2 says. i.e.
>>
>> =A0 =A0Type =A0 Name =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0=
 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0Reference
>> =A0 =A0---- =A0---------------------------------------- =A0-------------=
--------
>> =A0 =A0 =A00 =A0 =A0Hello =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC3973] [RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A01 =A0 =A0Register =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0=
 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0[RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A02 =A0 =A0Register Stop =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A03 =A0 =A0Join/Prune =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0[RFC3973] [RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A04 =A0 =A0Bootstrap =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A05 =A0 =A0Assert =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0[RFC3973] [RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A06 =A0 =A0Graft =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC3973]
>> =A0 =A0 =A07 =A0 =A0Graft-Ack =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC3973]
>> =A0 =A0 =A08 =A0 =A0Candidate RP Advertisement =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0[RFC4601]
>> =A0 =A0 =A09 =A0 =A0State Refresh =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC3973]
>> =A0 =A0 10 =A0 =A0DF Election =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 [RFC5015]
>> =A0 =A0 11-14 Unassigned at the moment =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =A0 =
=A0Future IETF Review
>
> I added
>
> 11-14 Unassigned =A0 =A0 =A0this document
>
>> =A0 =A0 15 =A0 =A0Reserved (for extension of type space) =A0 =A0[this do=
cument]
>>
>> Nits:
>>
>> There is an interesting nit in that you have RFC 3973 as a normative
>> reference (which sounds deserving in the context of this document)
>> but that RFC is an experimental RFC.
>
> I have now made them informative. I believe that is appropriate.
>
> In addition I added the sentence:
>
> The message type is a 4-bit integer with possible values from 0 to 15.
>
> Stig
>
>>
>> cheers,
>> jamal
>
>

From julien.meuric@orange-ftgroup.com  Mon Jan 31 15:51:01 2011
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Hello,

I have been selected as the Routing Directorate reviewer for this draft. 
The Routing Directorate seeks to review all routing or routing-related 
drafts as they pass through IETF last call and IESG review. The purpose 
of the review is to provide assistance to the Routing ADs. For more 
information about the Routing Directorate, please see 
http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate/routing.html

Although these comments are primarily for the use of the Routing ADs, it 
would be helpful if you could consider them along with any other IETF 
Last Call comments that you receive, and strive to resolve them through 
discussion or by updating the draft.

Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-mpls-tp-cp-framework-05
Reviewer: Julien Meuric
Review Date: 31 January 2011
IETF LC End Date: 31 January 2011
Intended Status: Informational

*Summary:*
I have some minor concerns about this document that I think should be 
resolved before publication.

*Comments:*
This document is clearly written and easy to understand, even if the 
reader does not go over the numerous references.

*Major Issues:*
No major issues found.


*Minor Issues:* (leaving out acronym expansion or references to add 
already highlighted by the AD)
----------
Section 1.3
Quoting Adrian (by the way: congratulations!): "A reference to 
draft-ietf-mpls-tp-uni-nni might be appropriate to aid the discussion of 
UNIs and NNIs." Indeed, but it requires more than a reference: since the 
aforementioned I-D only defines "service interfaces", a little 
elaboration on the use of "NNI" in draft-ietf-ccamp-mpls-tp-cp-framework 
is needed.
----------
Section 2.1
Requirement 17 looks like a tautology. Requirement 19 in RFC 5654 
clarifies the intend, but I am not sure it is needed here more than "A 
control plane must not be required to support coffee making".

Requirements 21 and 22 refers to "homogeneous" and "non homogeneous" 
domains, but I do not think it is defined. Would my domain with all my 
640 Mb/s switching capacity nodes be homogeneous?

I believe requirement 24 also covers 27.C from RFC 5654.

Requirement 39 mentions ASON: I thought the scope of ASON was 
circuit-switched technologies, has it been extended for packet-switched?

Requirement 62 states "this should be the default": I guess "this" 
refers to bidirectional, but I believe the wording should be improved.

Requirement 65 says "the control plane may support extra-traffic": not 
sure what is means (extra traffic over the control network?).
----------
Section 4.2.1
It is consistent to section 2 of RFC 5951: an explicit reference could 
be added, especially when considering the title of that RFC...
----------
Section 4.3 and 5.2
Not sure about the dashes following the numbers: should not they be in 
the right column instead of the left one?

It is a bit surprising to see explicitly "proper vendor implementation" 
while it is should be implicit for any standard specification...
----------
Section 5.3.2: "If the control plane is physically separated... 
information".
I do not believe this paragraph is needed here: no other section 
mentions that sub-case (which might be in the scope of the ForCES WG).
----------
Section 4.2.1 focuses on "Management Plane Support" within the "4. TE 
LSPs" section. The same kind of paragraph is expected in the "5. 
Pseudowires" section but is currently missing.
----------


*Nits:*
----------
Section 1.2
s/over LSP based/over LSP-based/
----------
Section 2.3
s/customer/client/
----------
  Section 4.1.1
s/control (and management) planes/control (and management) plane(s)/
----------
Section 4.1.2
s/and consequently, MPLS-TP uses/and consequently MPLS-TP, uses/
s/control (and management) planes/control (and management) plane(s)/
----------
Section 4.1.4.1 (interesting concepts)
s/(PCE) Based approaches/(PCE)-based approaches/
s/PCE requests and responses/requests to and responses from PCE/
----------
Section 4.1.9
s/LSPs as discussed in [TP-SURVIVE], is/LSPs, as discussed in 
[TP-SURVIVE], is/
----------
Section 4.2.1.2
s/the life, (traffic hit/the life (traffic hit/
----------
Section 4.4.4
s/but nonetheless, must/but nonetheless must/
----------
Section 4.4.5
s/OAM related/OAM-related/ (twice)
----------
Section 4.4.6
s/Diffserv enable/Diffserv-enabled/transport
s/Diffserv related/Diffserv-related/
----------
Section 4.4.8
s/entity related/entity-related/
----------
Section 5.3.1
s/to be, theoretically, a straightforward exercise/to be a 
straightforward exercise/ (unless there is a strong reason to keep it 
theoretical)
----------
Section 5.3.5
s/transport service require OAM/transport service requires OAM/
s/performance related monitor/performance-related monitor/
----------
Section 6
s/MPLS and GMPLS related/MPLS- and GMPLS-related/
----------

Regards,

Julien

