Subject: [Hipsec] Ben Campbell's No Objection on draft-ietf-hip-rfc4423-bis-19: (with COMMENT)

From: Ben Campbell <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 09 May 2018 19:53:46 -0700

Ben Campbell has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-hip-rfc4423-bis-19: No Objection

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COMMENT:
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I have mostly just reviewed the diff from RFC4423. My comments are mostly
editorial.

First, a minor rant that I don't expect to be addressed at this point in the
process; I mainly say this to try to discourage it future bis drafts: There are
quite a few changes from 4423 that are entirely stylistic, but do not
materially change the content or improve readability. I wish people wouldn't do
that, because it makes it harder to review material changes with the diff
tools. (I will only point out such changes where I think the original was more
correct.)

-General: There seems to have been a systematic attempt to remove hyphens from
compound adjectives. There also seems to be a systematic attempt to change
headings from title case to normal sentence case.  I suspect the RFC editor
will change those all back.

Abstract: The abstract manages to completely avoid saying what this namespace
is _for_. (Yes, I realize that is old text :-) )

§1, first paragraph: s/ "try and do"/"try to do"

§4.2: Please mention the HIT abbreviation in the text, not just the heading.
(The text should make sense even without the headings.)

§5:
- third paragraph: Missing articles before "Left" and "right".
- 2nd to last paragraph: Missing article before "HIP layer" (multiple
instances).