Subject: [NEXTEL-1] New technology we can live without (Nextel) By Robert Mitchell Esq.

From: Marcel <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 17 Apr 2003 03:43:26 -0400

New technology we can live without (Nextel)

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

By Robert Mitchell Esq.

I assume you are all aware that our once-cutting edge cell phones are
now obsolete, at least with the exception of the handful of you who have
already
availed yourselves of the very latest and cutting-edgiest in
telecommunications technology.

That would be the phone now heavily advertised by a large unnamed
company whose unnamed name begins with “Nex” and ends with “tel,” which
in addition to being a normal cell phone also has a two-way
walkie-talkie feature technically known as “direct connect.” Now, in the
commercials currently hawking this gotta-have-it product we have some
poor luckless person trying to call some other person on his or her
puny, embarrassingly antiquated normal cell phone, only to hear that
person’s voice-mail message, as the direct result of which the caller is
eaten by wild beasts, which the called person could have prevented if
they had only answered the phone.

In scenario number two the same caller, using the exact same phone calls
the exact same person at exactly the same time, only this time using the

direct-connect feature, and this time the called person is magically
right there on the line! Is that incredible or what - just by paying a
reasonable sum for
this marvelous new feature on your phone you can make people who weren’t
there before suddenly appear.

Now at first glance this does sound like the cure for many a headache;
no more getting the all-too-frequent “Hello, this is Saddam Hussein. If
you’re calling
between the hours of 10 and 4:30 Monday through Friday I can’t come to
the phone because I’m out oppressing my people, but if you leave your
name and
number I’ll do something horrible to you just as soon as I can. Have a
nice day.” If Saddam had such a phone General Franks could just call him
and HE’D HAVE TO ANSWER - isn’t that cool? Then we could irritate him to
a painful death by describing in detail the many reasons why he should
change his long-distance service to another provider.

Perhaps at this point you’re wondering how this could possibly be true.
Well, I’m on your side, so I called the aforementioned unnamed company
and voiced, on your behalf, my skepticism. It turns out that

(1) both caller and called have to have this feature on their phones, so
you can’t pull this on just anybody;

(2) the called person has to have their phone turned on but is just
choosing not to answer a conventional call; and

(3) the only difference is that with direct-connect instead of hearing
the phone ring the called person hears your voice, which they still have
the option to ignore. However, the assumption seems to be that if the
called person actually hears your dulcet tones begging and pleading to
be spared being eaten by wild beasts they won’t have the heart to ignore
you.

In other words, this major breakthrough in telephony is a device which
allows you to give the called party a big, insidious, thoroughly
sadistic dose of guilt,
shaming them into taking a call they otherwise would leave for later -
hooray for technology. Oh boy, doesn’t this sound like something you
suddenly can’t
live without? I mean, there you are, say, in a public restroom, cell
phone in your pocket or purse, and suddenly the facilities are filled
with the shrill but
melodious voice of your mother demanding that you pick up the phone this
instant and talk to her because she just has to tell you all about Uncle
Mortie’s
prostate surgery.

The possibilities for disaster stagger the imagination as we wave
good-bye to the last shreds of freedom from perpetual availability. In
fact, being eaten by
wild beasts is sounding better all the time. As long as they don’t call
first.

Robert Mitchell practices law in Morgan Hill. His column has appeared in
The Dispatch for more than 20 years. It’s published every Tuesday.

http://gilroydispatch.com/news/newsview.asp?c=38151