Subject: [NEXTEL-1] FCC Fines Bin-Laden $500,000 For Using Indecent Language In Tape Released Today

From: Marcel <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 01:21:35 -0400

FCC Fines Bin-Laden $500,000 For Using Indecent Language In Tape
Released Today

Thursday,
April 15, 2004

TheDailyFarce.com

Marcelo Lewin
 
The C.I.A. released today a tape claiming to be from 
Osama Bin Laden offering to stop terrorism in Europe 
in exchange for all European troops to be removed from 
any Muslim country worldwide. The man in the tape went 
on to say that "this holy war is between Americans and 
Muslims and all f-----g American pigs will be killed anywhere 
in the world." 

Immediately after listening to that tape, Michael Powell 
announced that the FCC will fine Osama Bin Laden $500,000 
for lewd and indecent language. Clear Channel also announced 
in a press release this morning that none of their radio stations 
will ever air any more of Osama Bin Laden's tapes again. 

"The public airways are for the general public," stated John Moron, 
chairman of Clear Channel, "The airwaves need to remain free 
from such lewd language. We should never allow our children to 
hear such things. Therefore, from today on, we will never ever play 
any tapes released by Osama Bin Laden again." 

"First it was Janet. Now Osama." Stated Michael Powell, "Truly, I 
expected more from Osama. Our airwaves are being polluted by 
the likes of Howard Stern, Janet Jackson and now him. If we can't 
stop Osama with bombs or with missiles, then we will definitely 
stop him by fining him to death. This time, its $500,000, next time, 
it will be $1 million. We're doing it to Howard, we'll do it to Osama." 

"The FCC is out of control," stated an inside source at the FCC who 
wished to remain anonymous, "Michael Powell and his clan at the 
FCC are out to get everyone they disagree with. They hate Howard 
Stern and now they want to silence Osama Bin Laden. Who's next? 
Ryan Seecrest? Well, actually, that would be a positive. Nonetheless, 
all artists and terrorists in the United States should come out and 
support Howard and Osama. Our basic freedom of speech is being 
messed with by these nitwits." 

President George Bush agrees with the action the FCC is taking to 
stop Osama Bin Laden. "We are a nation of Christians. The almighty 
believes that freedom is for everyone, but that we should not say 
lewd things in public, therefore, as the person that actually speaks 
directly with the almighty, I was chosen to protect all of you from 
such evils. I ordered the FCC to immediately fine Howard, I mean, 
Osama for his lewd language." 

The FCC is hoping the U.N. will help enforce the fine to Osama and 
to Al-Jazeera Network for also playing those tapes. 

http://www.thedailyfarce.com/world.cfm

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