Subject: [netmod] Lars Eggert's Discuss on draft-ietf-netmod-geo-location-08: (with DISCUSS and COMMENT)

From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 17 May 2021 02:32:45 -0700

Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for
draft-ietf-netmod-geo-location-08: Discuss

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DISCUSS:
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Section 8, paragraph 2, discuss:
>    [EGM08]    Pavlis, N.K., Holmes, S.A., Kenyon, S.C., and J.K. Factor,
>               "An Earth Gravitational Model to Degree 2160: EGM08.",
>               Presented at the 2008 General Assembly of the European
>               Geosciences Union, Vienna, Arpil13-18, 2008, 2008,
>               <http://earth-info.nga.mil/GandG/wgs84/gravitymod/egm2008/
>               egm08_wgs84.html>.
>
>    [EGM96]    Lemoine, F.G., Kenyon, S.C., Factor, J.K., Trimmer, R.G.,
>               Pavlis, N.K., Chinn, D.S., Cox, C.M., Klosko, S.M.,
>               Luthcke, S.B., Torrence, M.H., Wang, Y.M., Williamson,
>               R.G., Pavlis, E.C., Rapp, R.H., and T.R. Olson, "The
>               Development of the Joint NASA GSFC and the National
>               Imagery and Mapping Agency (NIMA) Geopotential Model
>               EGM96.", Technical Report NASA/TP-1998-206861, NASA,
>               Greenbelt., 1998,
>               <https://cddis.nasa.gov/926/egm96/egm96.html>.

I question whether these two can be normatively referenced without an explicit
DOWNREF check. First, the URLs of both are broken. Second, the cached versions
on archive.org seem to be web pages that link to a lot of other material, with
no indication that anything on these pages is standards material. Are better
references available here?

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COMMENT:
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Section 2.3, paragraph 2, comment:
>    3-dimensional vector value.  The components of the vector are
>    "v-north", "v-east" and "v-up" which are all given in fractional

In the formulas in the text rendering of the document, these components are
called "v_{north}", etc. It would be good to use a single variant in both the
text and any formulas.

This document uses RFC2119 keywords, but does not contain the recommended
RFC8174 boilerplate. (It contains some text with a similar beginning.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to
address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by
automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there
will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you
did with these suggestions.

Section 1, paragraph 2, nit:
-    might be the location of data center, a rack in an internet exchange
-                                                       ^
+    might be the location of data center, a rack in an Internet exchange
+                                                       ^

Section 2.5, paragraph 1, nit:
> development of this module, the question of whether it would support data su
>                             ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.

Section 3, paragraph 17, nit:
>  describes this motion at the the time given by the timestamp. For a
>                           ^^^^^^^
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.

Section 4, paragraph 4, nit:
> lts For test "A.1.2.1" the YANG geo location object either includes a CRS ("r
>                                 ^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

Section 5.1.4, paragraph 4, nit:
> value, the YANG grouping supports the ignore case but not the relative case.
>                                   ^^^^^^^^^^
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'ignore' is
correct. If 'ignore' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen
between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as
a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.

Section 7, paragraph 6, nit:
> e than standard configuration. Some of the readable data nodes in this YANG m
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary.

"Appendix A.", paragraph 3, nit:
> ure 2: Example YANG module using geo location. Below is the YANG tree for the
>                                  ^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

"Appendix A.", paragraph 7, nit:
>  Figure 3: Example XML data of geo location use. Appendix B. Acknowledgments
>                                ^^^^^^^^^^^^
This word is normally spelled as one.

These URLs in the document did not return content:
 * http://earth-info.nga.mil/GandG/wgs84/gravitymod/egm2008/egm08_wgs84.html
 * http://earth-info.nga.mil/GandG/publications/tr8350.2/wgs84fin.pdf
 * https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfcXXXX

These URLs in the document can probably be converted to HTTPS:
 * http://www.iau.org
 * http://docs.opengeospatial.org/is/12-007r2/12-007r2.html
 * http://portal.opengeospatial.org/files/?artifact_id=27810